


The Uncertainty of This Life(But Maybe It’s Better That Way)

by SilverFox89



Series: The Uncertain Future [1]
Category: Final Fantasy VII, Naruto
Genre: AVALANCHE is starting to show up, All the crazy stuff, Angst, End of the World, Evil and scheming Ino, Flashbacks, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Genesis Rapsodos, Mentions of kurama, Multi, Post Uchiha Massacre, Right?, Shikamaru and Neji meet 'officially', Shikamaru just doesn't get it, Shikamaru|Hyo is so messed up, Yoshino wants Hojo to die, but it's the thought that counts, but maybe it isn't so bad, confused and distressed main character, discussions on sexuality, do I need to mention the angst again, haunted Uchiha Compound, i think I should, mentions of characters' deaths, my poor baby, non-descriptive character death, not that she knows who he is, pre-Rookie Nine, tough discussions, trigger warning, unnamed character death, waking up as a child, you should have run Shikamaru
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2018-06-09 14:18:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 71,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6910663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverFox89/pseuds/SilverFox89
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The worlds of Naruto and Final Fantasy VII are one and the same. When the world ends Hyo Strife(the adopted brother of Cloud Strife and an amnesic man of thirty-seven) is certain that his life ends as well. Only...it doesn't. When he wakes up, it is as an eighteen-month-old child. Unable to determine whether this is a fever dream or a second chance after being reborn, he chooses to live this new life as best he can.</p><p>But his past is important because what he doesn't remember plays a large role in the story of a world that has been given a second chance. And there's more than one story waiting to be retold.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Waking Up (Alternatively, The Day I Realized That My Life is Full of Bullshit and I Might Just Hate Myself a Little Bit)

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Naruto or Final Fantasy VII(even if I wish I did...).
> 
> So this has been rattling around in my head for over a year. I'm only just now finding the inspiration to type it out.
> 
> The start of this chapter story isn't going to be pretty. It's supposed to be that way and it probably won't get better for a while. Sorry if it confuses you but the main character is pretty out of it and he's good about going on long tangents. He's got a lot of angst to deal with

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our warrior wakes up in a strange place.

**Prologue**

* * *

 

Too dark, too bright eyes stare in horror as the small encampment, that used to be made up of his group and the survivors they had rescued, burns. There are giant fissures leading from a great chasm and running through parts of the camp. Polluted mako – glowing an ominous blackish green – wells up in the fissures, threatening to spill over. Worse yet, the camp is overrun. And not just by JENOVA’s monsters. A WEAPON, it’s presence immense and overwhelming, is moving towards them from the gaping hole in the earth, light already glowing in its colossal maw.

The warrior wants to cry out, to scream for his family and friends to run but he doesn’t(he will never be able to be heard, not with his ruined vocal cords – a side effect of the experiments that had stolen so much more than just his voice). Instead, he unsheathes one of his katanas and jumps down the rather steep cliff side, landing on a small outcropping. Only to repeat the move again and again until he reaches the bottom and can bolt across the distance separating him from the people he cherishes more than anything in the world. But, even as he runs – fast, faster, faster still – he knows he’ll never reach them in time.

He comes to an abrupt halt, tripping and falling to his knees, as an enormous leg stamps down even as the WEAPON unleashes its attack and what was once a stretch of flatland buckles as the fissures grow – first wide and then into vast canyons that would lead straight to death if fallen into. The camp has disappeared in the time it takes the man to look up, to process the destruction and a wave of grief strikes him hard as he stumbles to his feet. A furious scream can be heard over the sounds of roaring monsters and the bellowing of the WEAPON. A tiny(compared to the massive bulk of the Planet’s protector) figure rages futilely against it and the dark-eyed warrior can only watch on in despair as the person(Cloud, if his enhanced hearing isn’t playing tricks on him) is struck down and into one of the yawning chasms. Chasms that were still growing, his mind supplies uselessly. Uselessly, he thinks, because there is nothing left to fight for, no reason to keep going. Why fight the inevitable when everyone he loved is gone? When it is clear that no amount of fighting or running from the situation will help him(or anyone else)?

He grits his teeth and tears he hasn’t shed in nearly seventeen years run down his face, a silent sob catching in his throat as he turns his face to the once blue sky now choked with clouds of ash and poison. He can hear the rumbling of the earth tearing itself apart around him and he does the only thing he can do with his world literally disappearing. The man closes his eyes and doesn’t try to run when the ground starts to fall out from underneath him, he lets himself fall. He doesn’t know how long it takes him to reach the bottom but when he hits the churning(burning) mako and the black oblivion of unconsciousness closes in on him he surrenders to it. There’s no reason not to.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Waking Up**

**(Alternatively, The Day I Realized That My Life is Full of Bullshit and I Might Just Hate Myself a Little Bit)**

* * *

Thirty-seven-year-old Hyo* Strife(adopted) wakes with a startled gasp to the incomplete darkness of what can only be an actual room. Moonlight(something he hasn’t seen in three years!) is streaming in through the curtains of an unopened window and Hyo blinks in confusion. He tries to remember how he had gotten to this place(in a room not his own, in a bed that he doesn’t own, with a blanket warmer than any he can ever remember owning) and it all comes back. The horrors he’d experienced, the death and destruction he’d seen and tried to prevent(only to fail, over and over again). The end that had come in spite of everything he and the rest of AVALANCHE had done to stop it(the end he had thought had been his own).

The dark-eyed male closes his eyes tightly and bares his teeth in what should be a snarl. It comes out as a whimper instead and Hyo’s eyes fly open in mortification. His mind is already throwing out reasons as to why he sounds like that even as he tries to sit up and finds himself with a disturbing lack of the fine control he is used to. He also seems to have a headache(normal, he always has a headache), an earache, a fever, and an upset stomach(he’s more than use to diagnosing his ills by this point. He’s had twenty years of practice, after all). And, as Hyo looks around himself, he realizes that he is also impossibly small in comparison to the room around him. Worse yet, he appears to be in what _seems_ to be an infant’s crib.

Denial is setting in even as he lifts his hands and stares at the tiny, chubby baby appendages. Hyo opens his mouth to let out a distressed whine and an infant’s wail splits the night air as the shock of his revelation collides with the agony of losing everything and everyone he’s ever cared for. And, in that moment, all he can do is scream at the top of his lungs as fat tears trickle down his face. He doesn’t even try to stop them(there is no point in trying).

Later, he will realize that maybe there was some sort of point in suppressing his distress, but hindsight is twenty-twenty, as they always say, and Hyo is beyond the point of caring even as the light in what is apparently his room flickers on and a woman’s tired voice sounds out. He continues to cry as he is picked up by said woman and his temperature checked. The sobs don’t stop even as he is bundled up, as chilly night air is suddenly nipping at his too hot skin for an undeterminable amount of time, and then, as if from a nightmare, the unforgettable stink of antiseptic and illness(and death, even if this infant’s nose isn’t able to pick it up, it’s a smell that he knows permeates this place. He can never forget it. Not after what he’s been through. Not after _**him** _ .... (If his wailing takes on a more hysterical tinge than he thinks he can be forgiven for it because blind panic feels as if it is crushing his lungs and heartache – the kind that rips and tears and leaves large, gaping wounds on his _soul_ and _they_ _will_ _bleed_ even after _years have passed_ – is clawing at the inside of his chest).

He registers another person’s voice above the woman’s worried voice and then a cool hand on his forehead and that sweet black oblivion is abruptly pulling him down again(he hopes that maybe, just maybe, he will stay there this time instead of waking up again to this strange new reality or fever dream he’s found himself in. It would be better than living in a world without the people he had loved( _still loves_ ) more than anything. Somehow, he gets the feeling that he will not be that lucky).

* * *

He is greeted by the white tiled ceiling the next time he wakes up and already there is a distinct difference from the last time. His emotions are dull and muted as if they are millions of miles away and his thought process is slow and tired. It is much more preferable when compared to the breath-stealing anguish he’d felt when he’d first woken up(he still thinks never waking up again is the better option but his life has never gone the way he wants it to and he doubts it ever will). There is constant(and oh so annoying) beeping coming from his left and Hyo turns his head to glare(it’s more a pout at this point but Hyo carefully doesn’t think about that) at the heart monitor(he’s never hated a machine more in his life but hospital equipment has always held a special kind of horror for him. He pointedly _doesn’t_ look down. He _doesn’t_ want to see the IV that he knows is lodged in his hand because if he _does_ he won’t be able to stop himself from _freaking the fuck out_ ! And even if he _is_ a child now, a freak out of the proportions he is capable of is _never_ a good thing. He’ll always wind up hurting himself in an attempt to escape while trying _not_ to hurt the innocent people around him).

A soft laugh from the right side of the bed has him ponderously turning his head to look at a pale-skinned and dark-eyed woman with inky black hair. Her mouth is turned up in a relieved smile and she laughs again, soft and sweet and oh so familiar(he’s never met this woman in the entire time that he’s capable of remembering) and Hyo’s tiny toddler body responds before he even realizes what’s happening. His lip juts out further and wobbles as he lets out a piteous whine and he reaches up for this woman that he doesn’t know(but somehow he _does_ and Hyo has _never_ been more confused _in his entire lifetime,_ short as said life may have been). Her smile widens into a grin as she slips onto the bed and gently, oh so gently, picks him up to cradle him against her chest(her heartbeat is the single most soothing sound he’s ever heard and, for some odd reason, he _never_ wants to _stop_ listening to it), “Did the beeping wake you up, sweetie? I’m sorry, but the medic did insist on it and your fever was far too high for me to tell him no just because it would bother you. I’m certain they will take it out of the room now that you are awake and aware.”

She talks to him as if he is an older child instead of the toddler he seems to be and Hyo finds it to be relieving and strange all at the same time. Regardless of the strange turn his life has taken, Hyo feels himself relax against her and he turns his face to her shoulder to breathe in her scent. The scent of forest, weapons’ oil, metal, and the very faintest hint of blood invades his nose and he relaxes even more because this woman is a warrior(despite the fact that her smile is kind and sweet and it makes something inside him _ache_ for some unnameable reason). Her scent is a comfort to him and he nuzzles his cheek against her shoulder unthinkingly. She hums softly, “Oh, my poor little fawn, you really must not feel well if you’re feeling this affectionate. That nasty ear infection and cold you have must be making you feel awful, but don’t worry. The medic will make it better, I promise.”

Hyo can’t help but yawn and curl into the woman as her body heat and heartbeat lulls him(and the fact that she has such a pet name for him that she uses _so easily_ endears her to him faster than he ever thought he could become attached to one person(because Hyo doesn’t trust easily for more than just a few good reasons). _**His sister**_ had been the last person to call him by a pet name in his youth out of love and _**she**_ had called him Kitten. _**She**_ is _gone_ , _has been_ _gone_ for _eighteen years_ but the wound _still_ _hasn’t healed._ It never will, not entirely at least).

The final straw comes when she starts to hum a lullaby to him and Hyo is done. He can no more fight the instincts of this child’s body than he can fight the inevitability of time(and he’s not certain he wants to anymore because _no one_ has _ever_ held him this way before - as if he is a beloved child, as if he is precious and cherished and that just by his existence he is making someone’s life all that much more bright. But it’s not as if he’s ever allowed such a thing to happen before either because Hyo was not a child before he was adopted and(even if he had been) there was no time for anyone to coddle him. Not when the world needed saving and they were all that the world had in spite of the fact that they were broken in their own painful ways. Even _**she**_ had been broken but it had never stopped _**her**_ from being kind and _**she**_ had always made time for him, had sought him out and drawn him out of his shell little by little because Hyo was _**broken**_ and _**bleeding**_ in places no one else could reach and he was _**more animal than**_ _ **human**_ and _**feral**_ in a way that only the most intolerable and inhumane of treatments could create in a human being. The others had never quite known how to deal with him(even if the two people he would have burned the world down for back then(because, even if Hyo wasn’t quite human, he still knew loyalty and Zack would _always_ have his devotion for saving him from **that place** and that devotion had - originally - extended to Cloud because Zack loved Cloud and Cloud had been sick and needed to be protected from the enemy) had tried their very best to be good role models and help him despite not knowing how). Hyo lets sleep steal over him like a thief and willingly(gladly) surrenders to the exhaustion that seems to stalk his every waking moment. It’s more than worth it as he catches the woman’s last words before he goes under, “That’s it, baby boy, just rest now. Okaa-san’s here and I love you _so very, very much_ , Shikamaru.”

(Okaa-san – mother. This woman is his mother and she’s just said the words he’s always longed to hear from the parental figures he’d never known. The parental figures he may never have had. And the pet name makes sense in the same way _ **hers** _ had. It’s silly but Hyo feels even more connected to this woman than ever before because of this. But he’d have been attached without question anyway because she is _his mother_ and that means the world to him even if _his_ had already ended.)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots and lots of glimpses into Hyo's mind.
> 
> Note the * by his first name. Hyo's name means Leopard
> 
> A bit of background information for you - Hyo lives almost explicitly in his head. Before Hyo woke up he could barely speak. He had to force it when he did speak but it was quite painful and not very useful in loud combat situations so he rarely spoke and only did so if absolutely necessary. He was - and still will be - prone to various noises that are more animal than human due to his disposition(and the experiments that performed on him) and he relied heavily on sign language when he needed to actually talk to someone.
> 
> Hyo is not someone who normally relies on others. He's very independent because of everything that's happened to him. Unfortunately, independency thy name isn't eighteen-month-old-toddler.


	2. New Faces  (Alternatively, In Which A Strange Man Tries to Hug My Mother While I’m Trying to Nap On Her Shoulder – Anyone Else See This Ending Badly?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyo is getting used to this being a child thing. It doesn't mean he's happy about strange people ruining a perfectly good nap.

 

 

* * *

  


Hyo is out of the hospital two days after he wakes up(he’s _never been happier_ to leave a place than he is now as his mother steps out into the afternoon sunshine. And, suddenly, his breath is stolen by the sheer beauty of something he never thought he’d see again in his lifetime. There are _people_! _So many_ people. And _children_ (the children, elderly, and infirm had often been the first to go in unprotected encampments – not that protection ever prevented their deaths). Hyo has never been fond of people but he has never hated them either, has never wanted them to suffer and die the way they had when his world was ending) and his toddler body seems to have a mind of its own because he is _smiling_ and _bouncing_ on his mother’s hip(seriously? What the actual hell is wrong with him?). His mother laughs loud and boisterously, “Someone’s excited! Happy to be outside, Shika-chan?”

  


Hyo(he can’t quite bring himself to think of himself as Shikamaru just yet. The name is still too new and he is still too raw and bleeding inside) can’t help the child’s giggle that bubbles up and out of his throat. There is a warmth building in his chest as he takes in buildings and stalls and so many different scents from cooking food reach his nose as his little head is turning this way and that way to try and capture everything in his line of sight(because he can remember the desolation of before and he wants to carve this thriving civilization into his memory _more than anything_ and it is a balm to his wounded and aching heart). His mother shakes her head with another laugh and says, “Look up, sweetie!”

  


Hyo does and sees(… oh… Oh… Sweet, Merciful Minerva) the biggest and fluffiest white clouds he can ever remember seeing in the bluest sky he’s ever seen in his whole life(and they are beautiful in a way he can’t even begin to describe because he remembers a sky that is gray and choked with ash and poison and who knows what else. A sky that would dump acid rain without a moments notice and any unenhanced person unlucky to be caught in that deluge would always, inevitably, become sick). He’s gaping, he knows he is(he can’t help himself and he can’t tear his eyes away from the sky) and his mother’s laugh is both fond and resigned, “You’re your otou-san’s son alright. I don’t know why I ever thought otherwise.”

  


Hyo finally manages to tear himself away from the sight to wrap his arms around her neck and nuzzles his cheek against hers(because she is his mother and he still can’t quite get over the fact that she _exists_. That _she is real_ and _solid beneath his touch_ ). He sighs contently as her free hand glides up and down his tiny back soothingly and he is glad that the instincts of this child’s body of his makes it _so easy_ to relax(because Hyo had only ever known pain from the touch of other people before Zack rescued him and he’s never been able to trust people he doesn’t know the way other people do(so he tries to never let anyone outside of AVALANCHE touch him. The few people(outside of his adopted family) that _do_ lay hands on him without permission find themselves broken and on the floor before they can figure out what happen because Zack and the others know him and they know he cannot tolerate people the way they do. So they break the idiots that mess with him before Hyo can retaliate because Hyo would not leave broken people behind when he snapped(he’d leave broken bodies instead because mercy was not something he instinctively knew, it was something he had had to learn and it had not come naturally to him for the longest time. Eventually, it does but he can’t help but wonder, years later, if he was wrong to learn mercy, especially considering how _wrong_ everything went)).

  


His mother hums softly(thoughtfully, he thinks), “Still so affectionate, my Shika-chan. You’re going to be worse than that Kakashi boy when it comes to hospitals. I can already tell. I’ll have to warn your otou-san about that when he gets home so he knows to keep an eye on you if you ever need to go back and I’m not able to watch over you. Better safe than sorry.”

  


Hyo isn’t quite certain what to think about her words(he _does_ hopes he never has to enter that seventh circle of hell ever again(but he’s pretty certain that he’ll wind up there one way or another because he’s never been that lucky and he’d once heard that luck was a lady – which is worse because Hyo and women, outside of the women in his adopted family, have never gotten along)). She’s mentioned his father once before and again now. Her words imply that the man is an important part of their lives and he hopes his father is someone he can be just as comfortable with as he already is with his mother(because at one point all he had ever wanted was to _know who he was_. He’d wanted to know where he came from, who his parents were and if they had _loved him_ and _looked_ for him the way he had futilely searched for the answers he’d never found. The Forbidden Continent was the only place he had never searched because of how hostile the natives were to _any outsiders_ and he’d eventually given up on searching years later. After all, there was no point in continuing to search for answers when all he got were more questions(it hasn’t stopped him from wondering about those questions in the very back of his mind)). “Two more weeks, Shika-chan, and then your otou-san will be home,” his mother throws him a mischievous smile. The corners of her eyes crease in some secret amusement as she says, “we should surprise him, yes?”

  


Hyo blinks and something flutters in his chest as he stares at his mother and a smile starts to stretch across his face before he even realizes that it’s happening and then he’s laughing, bright and happy and bell-like, with his head thrown back(he can’t ever remember _actually_ laughing), because his mother seems to be such a bright and happy light to him and he can’t help but follow her example(and it is amazing and brilliant and suddenly he never wants her to stop smiling at him like that. With that warmth in her eyes and like her heart is on her sleeve for the world to see because she has no reason to hide it from anyone(and Hyo wants to protect that smile just like he’d wanted to protect Denzel’s and Marlene’s smiles – for those smiles had been so _very, very_ _ **precious**_ to him and he’d wanted nothing more than for them to always be able to smile)).

  


* * *

  


Two weeks seem to pass by in a blur of sleeping, eating, crawling, and playing with his mother(and teaching himself how to walk when his mother isn’t looking because she looked so disappointed one day when they are at the market and she saw a child about his age clinging to her sister’s hand and toddling along(and Hyo wants nothing more than to make her _proud_ )). Regardless of her one moment of disappointment, she seems utterly happy to have him awake and aware and _focused_ on her. She is still a bright and happy light in his life(and Hyo still can’t believe how _lucky_ he is to have her) and she is prone to suddenly scooping him up in her arms and dancing him across the room, while singing silly songs that make him laugh and giggle(he still can’t control this body’s strange urges and instincts any more than he can control the rising and setting of the sun(and if he’s honest with himself?… he’s stopped trying)), without any warning at all. Sometimes, however, he gets so tired that he simply crashes out wherever he happens to be at the time(and that is disturbing and worrying because exhaustion shouldn’t simply _hit him like a freight train at high speed_ ). His mother seems to think it’s normal though and simply picks him up to lay him down in his playpen(it is an embarrassing, humiliating cage(just like the crib) to him and he hates it with the passion of a thousand burning suns(his mild pyromania may be acting up _just a little bit_ ) but he puts up with it to make her happy because parents need time to themselves too. And to be honest, he needs to have a bit of space to himself as well) or lets him nap on her shoulder if she is knitting or sewing since he doesn’t move much and he doesn’t hinder her range of motion.

  


Hyo enjoys these moments when he can simply relax against her and he is warm and his stomach is full and there is no reason for him to worry(because he can remember a time when he wasn’t warm and didn’t he have enough food(he gave it away to those who needed it more because he could never stand to see a child go hungry if he could prevent it) and he was constantly worried and alert and always, _always_ trying to bring back enough supplies to make sure that everyone could have the basic necessities). These moments are helped by that fact that she likes to sing lullabies to him as he rests(he remembers Tifa singing to Marlene and Denzel and later, after Deepground is nothing more than a bad memory, to little baby Dyne who is soft and warm and Hyo falls in love with him just as much as the rest of the family does(because little Dyne being born is a miracle after all the fighting and death they’ve seen and Hyo is just as protective of Dyne as he is of his adopted niece and nephew and he will _never_ let _anyone_ harm these children because _**they are his**_ and he loves them more than he ever thought he’d ever be able to)).

  


Of course, just as he’s slipping out of a doze and drifting to sleep there is a flurry of activity and he is suddenly squished between his mother and a strange man with blond hair and a booming voice, “Yoshino! It’s good to see you! Choza and I have missed you at the gatherings!”

  


A lazy drawl drifts on the air, “Just because you missed her doesn’t mean you have to bombard her like that, Inoichi. Let my wife breath, you overly emotional Yamanaka.”

  


Hyo doesn’t really give the blond a chance to respond to that or let go and he doesn’t really think about what he’s doing either before the action is already complete. He twists his head – viper fast – and sinks his teeth into the side of the man’s neck like a particularly ornery cat that has had enough of being touched(he _**really**_ doesn’t like it when people he doesn’t know _**touch him**_ ). And, despite the sudden tidbit of knowledge that informs him that children who bite need to be punished, he can’t bring himself to feel any remorse(he feels rather vindicated, after all, he _had_ just been squished by this blond menace(and at _nap time_ no less and that just makes the whole thing _worse_ )) towards the now yelping man who has torn himself away and is staring at Hyo in shock and as if he is some dangerous and alien creature and Hyo is glaring back at him(he has to lie to himself about this because Hyo Strife/Shikamaru _**does not pout**_ and anyone who says otherwise is a vicious lying, liar who lies).

  


“He bit me… Your _son_ just _bit me_ , Shikaku!”

  


The blond isn’t the only one staring at him and Hyo decides that things need to be shaken up a bit more since he’s already rocked the boat so to speak. So he does the only thing he can do in this moment(and later he will have a hysterical laughing fit over it because it is only appropriate after their reactions to his little ploy). Hyo bands his right arm around the back of his mother’s neck to steady himself, turns so that his side is facing the three men, draws his little shoulders up, drops his head so that his own neck is protected, bares his baby teeth and then _**hisses**_ at them with all the menace an eighteen-month-old child can gather(which is actually quite a lot since he’s holding a grudge at the moment).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not as angsty as the first chapter and there's also humor! Let me know what you think!


	3. Adjusting (Alternatively, I’m Not Really Sure How This Family Thing Goes From A Child’s Point of View But I’m Going to Try to Figure It Out)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyo properly meets his father for the first time.

* * *

  


Hyo has his silent laughing fit in his playpen after his mother sets him down(he covers himself with his blanket and stuffs his tiny child’s fist into his mouth as he shakes with silent mirth not long after. The memory of the absolute shock on their faces and the over the top reactions they gave to his hissing is nearly enough to send him into a howling fit but he only just controls it to the silent shaking). Surprisingly enough, she doesn’t blame Hyo for biting Inoichi(she gives him a stern ‘no, biting is bad’ but leaves it at that). She claims that Inoichi deserves what he got since the man squeezed too hard when he hugged her and poor Shikamaru was squished as well. So now Hyo pretends to sleep – whilst really laughing – because he doesn’t want to be bothered by these three new men right now(one is his father, he knows, but he can’t really wrap his mind around that. He’s still trying to figure out how he got lucky enough to not be an orphan this time around). Later he will be reintroduced(introduced for the first time in his memory) to his father and he doesn’t know how to react to him(Hyo figures that he’ll wing it and see how it goes).

  


Eventually, Hyo does sleep and sleeps so deeply that Shikaku sends a worried his look his way when he fails to wake up after Inoichi gets a bit too loud. Yoshino reassures him, telling him that the tiredness is normal since Shikamaru is still recovering and tells him about their child’s trip to the hospital and how it had affected the poor boy. “He really _**does not**_ like hospitals, Shikaku. We’ll have to keep an eye on him if he chooses to become a shinobi. He’ll probably be worse than Kakashi when it comes to escaping from there later in life.”

  


“Oh, that’s just wonderful...” Shikaku grumbles.

  


“It could be worse, old friend,” Choza murmurs. He finishes by saying, “he could have tried to become an escape artist now instead of waiting until he’s older.”

  


“With teeth like those, it won’t surprise me if he does become an escape artist,” Inoichi says as he rubs his neck. “I think he nearly drew blood. Imagine what he’d do to rope if he had enough time.”

  


Shikaku can only shake his head at the bizarre behavior his son has exhibited, “but…why hissing? I don’t remember him having ever met a cat before.”

  


Yoshino shrugs nonchalantly, “I did take him with me into the market a lot these last two weeks and he may have seen the same cat I did that got cornered by a stray dog. The cat won, by the way. I’m surprised he still remembers that, though.”

  


Shikaku sighs and rolls his eyes towards the heavens, “My son thinks he’s a cat. Mendokuse...”

  


* * *

  


It is dark when Hyo wakes up. The living room is covered in shadows and the light that casts them comes only from the kitchen. He can hear his mother talking to someone else and that person’s voice rasps quietly back, husky and deep. The man’s voice reminds Hyo of smoke(he remembers a time when smoke was something to be thought of fondly. When it meant campfires and friends and family. When it was about togetherness and good food and telling stories and the warm, fond laughter of the people he lived his life for. And Hyo _longs_ for those simpler days, those days when they’d thought they had found the peace they had fought so hard for. A peace that had turned out to be a lie(and that hurt far more than the fighting that came after the lie)). Hyo sits up slowly, his blanket sliding down and off his tiny and thin shoulders(shoulders that had once been broad and strong and had carried more weight than anyone in this here and now will ever know. He wonders if he will ever have shoulders like that again, the kind of shoulders that can carry the weight of injured friends or innocents without faltering. He hopes so because Hyo is a fighter, a protector, and he can never imagine being anything else(and how sad is that? That he can’t imagine or remember how to be anything else?)). He listens to them talk until his stomach lets out a loud gurgle in protest of its emptiness and the kitchen goes abruptly silent(so abruptly that Hyo flinches. Silence like that had never been a good thing. It had always brought with it things that were better left alone).

  


His mother isn’t the first to reach the opening between the two rooms, however. Instead, it is one of the men from earlier(Hyo can tell from the male’s height and shape in the doorway) but none of the man’s features are readily available for him to see, since the light at his back casts him almost entirely in shadows(somehow, it is oddly appropriate for him to be surrounded by them). Hyo blinks up at the man and cants his head to one side(he doesn’t mean for the gesture to turn out as adorable as it does but it happens anyway) and the man chuckles throatily, “Well, look who’s up. It’s going to be a nightmare to get you to sleep at a decent time tonight, isn’t it?”

  


“Well, if you had woken him up when I asked you to he wouldn’t have slept this long,” Hyo’s mother snaps from behind the man he is assuming is his father. Then, resigned, “I’m surrounded by lazy Nara men. At least Shikamaru is showing more signs of normal development now. I was beginning to worry about him.”

  


“And I told you that it was normal for him to be the way he was. My own mother used to complain about what a quiet and lazy baby I was but I turned out fine,” the man says as he turns partially. His profile is sharp and streaks of light highlight the thinness of his face.

  


“You mean indolent?” Hyo’s mother sounds vaguely amused now.

  


“Mendokuse…,” the man sighs. He turns to look back at Hyo, who has already levered himself up with the help of the playpen railing(nasty, horrible thing that it is, Hyo still can’t deny that it is, in some way, useful) during the time that they were bantering, and goes still before reaching out and flicking the light switch. Hyo flinches, closes his eyes at the sudden flood of light and his face screws up into a scowl(he _**does not**_ pout) as he slowly opens his eyes. The man stares quietly for a long moment with heavy-lidded dark brown eyes and Hyo takes the moment to memorize a black and jagged ponytail that reminds him of a pineapple, tanned skin, thin eyebrows arched high on his forehead like the wings of a bird(Hyo is certain that the look is displaying disbelief because – weirdly enough – he’s seen that same look on his own face as it is reflected out of glass or mirrors), scars to the right side of his face(he was so very lucky to not have been caught lower or higher and consequently blinded in his right eye by the wounds), a thin nose, high cheek bones that draw attention to the way his cheeks hollow when he talks, and not quite thin – but not quite full either – lips(he looks similar to the Wutain people Yuffie leads as their Empress before the world goes to hell, this time permanently(Yuffie falls sometime towards the beginning of the end trying to protect her people and Hyo has never gotten over losing another sister, this one younger than him). However, the most important thing he notices is just how much this man looks almost exactly like he used to(except Hyo’s hair had been longer – much, much longer – he’d had no scars on his face and his features were just the slightest bit more different), how they could have passed for brothers if this man had been around before the end of his world(and it is the _weirdest_ thing to have _ever_ occurred to Hyo(and that’s including walking in on some of his adopted family by accident and realizing that there is more for him to learn about this world(he _never_ wants to _see_ or _know anything_ about their love lives ever again! He also never wants to know more about the  “Birds and the Bees” as Zack terms it. He freely admits to being traumatized and bolting for the metaphorical hills before Zack even gets a tenth of the way through. He later looks through the anatomy books at the library to figure it out himself and decides that he is just fine with never getting that close to another person(the thought of doing so is weird and uncomfortable to Hyo and later he learns that this is because of the experiments performed on him(he will never be able to be physically attracted to anyone, male of female, for the rest of that life)).

  


“Yoshino?” his father(Shikaku, his mind supplies) - Hyo is now certain of that fact that he is – calls out to get his mother’s(Yoshino’s) attention.

  


“Hmm? What is it, Shikaku?”

  


“When did Shikamaru start standing up on his own?” The question is asked calmly despite the arched look of surprise on his father’s face.

  


His mother’s voice rises in a shriek as she pushes his father forwards and out of her way, “He’s what?!” The moment she sees him a huge smile breaks over her face and her eyes are fierce but happy(she’s proud of him, Hyo realizes) and Hyo smiles back, laughing as his mother plucks him out of his playpen and dances him around the room. “Oh! Look at you! You’re becoming such a big boy, Shikamaru!”

  


Shikaku(his father) chuckles and leans against the door frame with a small, crooked grin. “So this is as much a surprise for you as it is for me?”

  


“YES! Oh, I’m so happy right now! I can’t wait to see his first steps! Oh! Maybe he’ll start talking soon!”

  


“Wouldn’t bet on that. I didn’t start talking until I was three. Remember, smart but lazy.”

  


Hyo’s mother sticks her tongue out at his father and blows a raspberry at him and Hyo giggles(he can’t wait until he’s older and can laugh properly) at her silliness. Eventually, his father comes over and gently takes him from his mother. Hyo immediately places his hands on his father’s shoulders(strong and so very broad under his little hands) to steady himself and he looks directly into his father’s eyes. They are dark, so very dark(like his own when he dares to stare at his own reflection(but Hyo’s glow in that life and anyone who ever looks closely at him can tell that he is a SOLDIER(even if he really isn’t)) but they are warm with laughter and love and Hyo smiles at the older man with all the happiness he can find(because finally, _finally_ he has a family that is _his_ and his alone(and it is clear that he is _so very loved_ by them)). Shikaku bounces him in his arms lightly and Hyo wraps his arms around his neck before dropping his head onto his father’s shoulder with a happy sigh(his scent is masculine and it is forest and earth and fire. It is smoke(both wood smoke and cigarette smoke), weapons’ oil, blood, and something else that Hyo can’t quite name but is on the tip of his tongue. He breathes it in and memorizes it because it is unique to his father and he carves the tiniest of details into his mind because he never wants to forget(forgetting them would be the worst thing that could ever happen to him and it would be what killed him if he ever did, Hyo thinks)).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you all think about this story so far? I'm really curious to get some insight into your thoughts on this story and what you think could be different or better in some places because I'm literally letting this story write itself as it goes. I have the major events in my head and I know roughly where I want them to go but everything in between is just flowing out to tell Hyo's(Shikamaru's) story.


	4. Adopting (Alternatively, I Was Adopted Once. Now I’ll Be the One to Hold Out A Hand to Someone Lost and Lonely)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shikamaru(Hyo) meets Naruto for the first time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: Time skips ahead from this point on. I’m not yet sure how many there will be in this story but I do know that there is one in this chapter. As cute as baby Hyo(Shikamaru) is and as much as I adore him, I can’t really keep focusing on that part of his life because the story needs to progress. I’d be here forever if I just focused on his infant years. I may write some snippets, later on, to go, with the story that delves deeper into parts of his life that I don’t write into the story. I hope that doesn’t bother any of you, but, if it does, I’m sorry. The story must go on!

* * *

(Shikaku’s POV)

  


Shikaku sighs morosely as he stares up at the sky. It’s a nice day. The sky is clear and there is a cool breeze gently wafting over the playground. It’s the kind of day when parents are more than happy to let their kids out to run around and tire themselves out. It’s just the fact that…Shikamaru still hasn’t let go of his hand. Hasn’t let go of it since they arrived thirty minutes ago.

  


Don’t most kids _like_ to play with other kids? He knows that Shikamaru is a quiet(he _still_ doesn’t talk yet. How weird is that?), smart(the boy is _already_ reading books meant for _preteens_ ), and serious boy. Oh, he’s prone to laughter there is no doubt about that, but he’s also prone to moments of utter silence. Moments where it is clear that the boy is thousands of miles away from where he’s sitting even if he’s _right there_. The four-year-old has moments of such intense concentration that Shikaku wonders just what, exactly, is going on in his son’s little head. It’s worrying, to be honest.

  


But, for all that his kid can be so far away at times, he is also _here_. _Here_ , in this time and place, with such a startlingly steady and grounded focus that Shikaku wonders, if his son isn’t an old soul made new(he will never ask Inoichi to look because Shikamaru is his son, even if he is an odd child. He knows that doing such a thing will be a betrayal of the worst kind and it will break the trust between them just as surely as a knife to the back would). Even so, is it too much to ask for his son to at least _try_ to make a friend today? Yes, the Nara are lazy but this is a little ridiculous.

  


Suddenly, Shikaku gets his wish and his son lets go of his hand. But it isn’t to go play with the other youngsters. No, instead his strange little boy makes a beeline for a blond haired little boy crouching by himself at the edge of the playground. A child whom he immediately deduces to be the little Uzumaki boy that everyone has turned into a pariah(how sad and narrow-minded people are). What happens next will change everything. Even if Shikaku himself doesn’t know it just yet.

  


* * *

  


When Shikamaru(he’s gotten so used to hearing the name, so used to referring to himself by it that it is instinctive now. He is still Hyo Strife(he always will be) but he is also Nara Shikamaru and he wants to live this life to its fullest) arrives at the playground his mother has forced him and his father to got to today he isn’t expecting much. Most children are _so loud_. He may not have his enhanced senses anymore but their squealing still hurts his sensitive ears. He certainly doesn’t want to be right in the middle of the troop of howler monkeys that the crowding children make(it’s rude to think that way, he knows, but he can’t help it when they are so loud). He grimaces as he looks around, trying to find something to do, to find someone who appeals to his quieter nature. He isn’t very lucky.

  


Then, on the periphery of his vision, a small blond boy comes into view. Their eyes meet and Shikamaru feels his breath catch because he knows the look in that boy’s eyes. He’s seen it in his own eyes before. Loneliness – the kind that is felt even when a person is surrounded by others. The kind of loneliness that threatens to swallow a person whole. Shikamaru’s world freezes and narrows down to that point of contact... The other boy’s eyes are blue but so very dark instead of the sky blue that he somehow knows they should be.

  


It doesn’t even register that he’s released his father’s hand or that he is moving until he is right there in front of the blond. He crouches down in front of the shocked and wary child and he speaks for the first time in this life. “Why are you lonely?”

  


Those blue eyes widen, even more, stunned now, and then, “No on’ wans to play wif me.”

  


“Where are your parents?”

  


The boy frowns and looks down, “Mons’ers don’ have parens.”

  


Shikamaru(Hyo) feels rage well up and it turns his blood into liquid fire. He tamps down on that fury before it can show on his face. His voice is calm as he asks his next question. “Who told you that?”

  


“Ma’ron of orphanage. She says I don’ ‘serve no parens.”

  


Hate rears its ugly head(he’d thought he’d dealt with it and ripped it out by the roots long ago. But hate is a cunning beast and he feels it prowling in his chest, waiting for his guard to slip ever so slightly so that it might attempt an escape) and Shikamaru decides that he won’t tolerate this situation. Not _this_ type. _Never_ this type of situation. Children don’t deserve to be treated this way. He knows this. He may not have ever been a parent but he’d been an uncle and he’d loved(still loves, no matter what happens or how much time passes) his niece and nephews.

  


Shikamaru makes a snap decision and holds out his right hand. “Then how about I share my parents with you. My okaa-san can’t have any more kids. It’s not her fault she can’t but I’ve always wanted a brother or sister.”

  


The blond-haired child looks up with wide, startled, and wary eyes but hope is blooming oh so fragile underneath the disbelief. “Me?”

  


Shikamaru nods once, decisively, “Yes, you. My name is Shikamaru. You may call me Shika-nii from now on. But first, what’s your name? I can’t keep calling you otouto for the rest of your life. That would get annoying to you really quick, I think.”

  


“Naru’o.”

  


“Naruto – Maelstrom. That’s a good name, a strong one.”

  


Naruto’s face lights up slowly like the sun is just starting to rise, and Shikamaru knows that he has done the right thing. It won’t be easy convincing his parents(but nothing right or worthwhile ever is and he’s always preferred to do what is right rather than what is easy). Shikamaru doesn’t hesitate to take that little, dirty hand into his own(he never will), pulls the boy up, and starts walking back the way he came with Naruto right behind him(the grip on his hand is tight, desperate, and he swears to himself that he will be the best Aniki he can be because Zack and Cloud had been his big brothers and they had always tried their best for him. He can do no less now for this lost and lonely boy). “Come on, Naru. My otou-san’s this way.”

  


* * *

(Shikaku’s POV)

  


Shikaku knows, the moment his son turns around with the Uzumaki boy’s hand held firmly in his own hand, that life is about to get troublesome. He doesn’t know what has happened over there, nor has he heard anything from them over the shrieking laughter of the other children, but his boy has _that look_ in his eyes. That determined and steady and grounded look that he always gets when he makes a decision(like every decision is important – even if it is only about some silly thing his mother has asked him to do. Like every decision he makes holds a weight that the rest of the world will never understand. Shikaku wonders why his son seems to carry such a weight on those small shoulders as opposed to the light burdens the rest of the children around him carry). So Shikaku gives his full attention to his little boy when the two children stop in front of him. This close, he can see the hardness in his son’s eyes and knows that Shikamaru won’t back down from whatever decision has been made.

  


“Made a friend, Shika-chan?” Shikaku asks, voice deceptively light. His son’s eyes narrow suspiciously and he shakes his head. Then he does something that shocks the ever living hell out of him. Shikamaru speaks.

  


“Naru is all alone. He doesn’t have any parents, so I promised him that I’d share you and okaa-san with him ‘cause I’ve always wanted a sibling.”

  


He is hearing Shikamaru’s voice for the first time and it is a quiet but steady thing(just like the boy himself). It rasps slightly from disuse and Shikaku can already hear the first and tiniest hints of the Nara rustiness that will eventually mature in his boy’s voice. And he can’t help but think that his son has always seemed to be smarter than most people would think. But _this_? _This_ is the final nail in the coffin, the proof he’s been looking for. His son has inherited the Nara intelligence they are so infamous for. “A sibling, hmm? Why didn’t you just ask your okaa-san and I?”

  


Shikaku gets a cutting look(holy shit, he looks like his mother) in return and his son says firmly, “I’m not stupid, otou-san. I read a lot and I know what it meant when okaa-san told Shio-oba-san she can’t have any more children ‘cause she got hurt really badly before she had me. Naru doesn’t have any parents and he’s lonely. And the lady at the orphanage calls him a monster and says he doesn’t deserve to have parents! That’s wrong. He shouldn’t have to stay in a place where he isn’t wanted. Not when there _are_ people who will want him to be part of their family.”

  


“Like you?”

  


His son’s eyes harden further and Shikaku knows he will loose to this determination before the boy even says what he knows will be said. “Yes.”

  


No hesitation, no second guessing. Shikamaru has made his choice and the rest the village will just have to live it because Shikamaru is a Nara. And a Nara will never make a promise they can’t keep. His son will bring the full force of his determination against anyone who tries to make him change his course(and, somehow, Shikaku knows that no one will win if they pit themselves against this boy(perhaps warrior is a better term because that is what he sees as he stares down into his son’s eyes)).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: So what do you think? Do all of you think this chapter captures the tone I tried to set? I know it doesn't have much of Shikamaru's point of view but I wanted people to see him from another person's view.


	5. Determination (Alternatively, I Will Never Give In and You Will Break Before You Can Make Me Bend)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shikamaru meets the Hokage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare yourselves! The theme song for this chapter is Sakura Nagashi. You should look up the English lyrics.

(Yoshino’s POV)

  


Yoshino looks at her son and then at the dirty little blond boy trying to hide behind Shikamaru’s right shoulder. The blond is ducked down and he is peeking up shyly at her through his bangs. His eyes are scared but hopeful and she can’t help but think that it is a shame that she didn’t find him sooner. This is Kushina’s son and his face is telling her everything she needs to know about what his life has been like. She looks back at her son and she sees what her husband meant when he had spoken to her before leading the boys in.

  


Shikamaru’s eyes are alight with an intense determination. A steadfastness that she hasn’t seen in even the most battle-hardened of shinobi. It is the kind of conviction that speaks silently(nothing about her son is loud or in your face) of an unbending will, an unyielding resolution that _no one_ can dominate or break. It is that quiet certitude that makes her believe that her husband is correct. He has chosen his path and will follow no other. Her son has a core of steel and a razor-sharp intellect hidden behind that lazy Nara facade. The same as his ancestors had had on both sides of his family tree.

  


Yoshino, unable to help herself, coos adoringly down at the boys and her son relaxes marginally. She gently guides the blond out from behind Shikamaru with a sweet smile. “Poor baby! You’ve been alone for a long time, haven’t you? What’s your name, sweetie?”

  


The boy smiles a tiny, nervous smile, and says, “Naru’o. Shika-nii says I can s’ay?”

  


Yoshino kneels down, with her hands on Naruto’s thin shoulders, and croons, “Of course! I’ve always wanted a big family but I was hurt badly on a mission when I was younger. I was told that I’d never be able to carry a child but, then, I got the surprise of my life.”

  


Naruto’s eyes go big with the suspense. “Wha’ su’pr’se?”

  


“I found out that I’d be having your Shika-nii,” Yoshino says honestly with a bittersweet smile. “The medics kept telling me that I shouldn’t get my hopes up and that I could lose him at any moment. But your Shika-nii has always been a stubborn person and he wasn’t about to go quietly into the night like the medics thought he would. He held on and I could so no less for my little miracle. It was hard on both of us and we nearly didn’t make it but, in the end, here we are. My Shikaku made sure of that. He wouldn’t let the medics give up on us.”

  


Naruto’s eyes were wide and wet with unshed tears. “You an’ Shika-nii are reawy s’rong!”

  


She smiles softly at the boy, “I suppose we are.”

  


A quiet, strangled noise from behind Naruto has Yoshino lifting her eyes to look at her son. Then she remembers, he has never heard this story. She has never told it to him. His jaw is tightly clenched, a muscle in his tiny jawline is ticking from the strain, and his eyes are wet as he looks resolutely into her own. “I won’t forget,” he says softly but firmly. He continues, “I won’t _ever_ forget what it nearly cost both of you to have me. If there’s one thing I _never_ want you to doubt, it’s that, even if I’ve never said it before, I have _always_ loved you and otou-san and I always will. And I love you even more now because you could have given up on me, _on us_ , _but you didn’t._ And that...that means more to me than you will ever know.”

  


A sharp, wet breath from her husband tells her that he is no less affected by their child’s words than she is and she opens her arms to her, now larger, family with teary laughter. “Come here, all of you! Group hug!”

  


Shikamaru is in her arms before she can register the fact that he’s moving and Naruto is right behind him. Shikaku ambles over slowly and sinks to his knees behind the children. His strong arms wrap around all three of them tightly and his voice rasps out hoarsely, “We have never doubted that Shikamaru, and we will _never_ give up on you. That goes for you too, Naruto. You’re part of this family now and family doesn’t give up on one another. Do you understand?”

  


Naruto nods and, from where his little head is tucked on Yoshino’s right shoulder, says “Hai! Fami’y don’ gi’e up, e’er! Fami’y s’ick ‘ge’er, righ’?”

  


“Always,” Shikamaru’s voice grits out between them, hard and resolved. “Family _always_ sticks together, _no matter what_.”

  


* * *

(Shikaku’s POV)

  


Shikaku enters the Hokage’s office with a quiet sigh. “So...I guess you already heard, hmm? It’s the only reason I can think of that would have you summoning me to your office today out of all days.”

  


“That your son unofficially adopted Uzumaki Naruto without so much as a ‘By your leave’? A little Dove told me,” Sarutobi Hiruzen says with a fond chuckle, his smile quick and easy. “Children have always found ways to surprise adults without much effort. Your boy is no exception to that rule.”

  


“I think he’d surprise you more than most children, Hokage-sama. I know he surprised the hell out of Yoshino and myself today. And that’s including his sudden adoption of Naruto as his little brother,” Shikaku says with a soft voice, his eyes drifting over the older man’s shoulder to look out the window with a faraway gaze.

  


The Hokage leans forward and props himself up, arms folding over one another as one eyebrow rises in interest. He gestures to a chair and says, “Would you care to share the story with this old man, Shikaku?”

  


The Nara Clan head drags the chair in front of the desk and sits. He tilts his head back to stare at the ceiling. He is quiet for several long moments before, finally, “I had already guessed that my son is a genius, so that isn’t much of a surprise to me. His IQ may be even higher than I thought, though. But..I think my son may be an old soul, Sarutobi-sama...”

  


“Oh? And why is that?” The aged Kage prompts when Shikaku is quiet for a long period of time.

  


Shikaku looks down from the ceiling to look the other man directly in the eyes. “Because no child I’ve ever seen has the weight my son has. I’ve never seen _anyone_ with the same strong will that Shikamaru carries within himself. He’s never gone through any of the trials and tribulations that come with being a shinobi. And yet, here I am, _swearing_ on my life, Sarutobi-sama, that my son _is_ a warrior of _unfathomable_ spirit. He...he’s like the living, breathing personification of the Will of Fire. He...”

  


The Nara breaks off and shakes his head slowly in admiration, “My own son is like no one I have ever met, and that’s including Uzumaki Kushina and Namikaze Minato.” Softer, he says, “He has so much determination, Hokage-sama, _so much_...”

  


“He sounds like an amazing child, Shikaku.”

  


“He is. I don’t know what Yoshino and I ever did to deserve such an incredible boy. But we must have done _something_ because we _do_ have him and _he’s ours_ and we are...we are so lucky to have him.” Shikaku watches as the Hokage leans back in his chair with a hum.

  


The Kage reaches for his pipe and lights it with a thoughtful look. He puffs on it for several long minutes as he visibly turns Shikaku’s words over in his head. Finally, “I think that I’d very much like to meet your boy, Shikaku.”

  


Shikaku breathes in sharply, his eyes narrowing on his leader. “With all due respect, Hokage-sama-”

  


“I don’t mean to make him a shinobi _now_ , my friend. Rather, I would simply like to sit down and speak with him. Preferably in an informal setting, if you don’t mind.”

  


“I… Of course, Hokage-sama. I will speak to Yoshino about arranging a day for you to come over to meet him. Is there anything else you would like to speak of before I leave?” Shikaku said deferentially, his eyes downcast. He doesn’t see it but he can hear the frown in the Hokage’s voice.

  


“Shikaku, that was not, under any circumstance, a reprimand. I understand your concerns and I will not dismiss those so lightly. Your son seems to be an extraordinary child and I merely wish to speak to him as I would speak to any of our future shinobi in the Academy. If he is as intelligent as you say then I have no doubt that we will have an enlightening discussion.” Shikaku looks up to see a small, understanding smile on the old man’s face. “You are an intelligent man yourself, Shikaku, but sometimes even intelligent men can assume and ‘make asses of themselves’ so to speak.”

  


Shikaku chuckles tiredly, “Aa, I guess you’re right. Apologies, Hokage-sama.”

  


Sarutobi Hiruzen waves the apology away nonchalantly, “There is nothing to apologize for, my friend. You were being the good and concerned father that you are and I would be quite upset with you if you had simply agreed to my request without any concern what so ever.”

  


“Mendokuse...”

  


The Hokage laughs, “Quite right, Shikaku!”

  


* * *

(Shikamaru’s POV)

  


The house is in an uproar. It’s been three days since he’d essentially adopted Naruto and his father was summoned by the Hokage. Shikamaru had been shocked when he had brought back news of the Hokage wanting to speak with him. He still doesn’t know what to make of this request. All he knows is that, apparently, it is a _very_ big deal and he isn’t certain he wants anything to do with this. Regardless, his parents had agreed to this meeting and he is the one that must now make good on that agreement

  


“Shika-nii?”

  


Shikamaru turns to look at his brother and smiles softly to reassure the little boy(he is _so little_. Not even Marlene had ever seemed as tiny as Naruto does now). “It’s okay, Naru. Everything will be fine. You’ll see.”

  


Naruto latches onto his right hand with his hand and nods, “m’kay. Shika-nii?”

  


“Yeah?”

  


“You goin’ away?”

  


“ _No_.” The word is spoken quietly but vehemently. “I’m not going _anywhere_. After all, I did promise to be your Aniki and to take care of you. I won’t break that promise. I will _never_ break that promise. I swear it.”

  


Naruto sighs and leans into him. “’m happy. Reawy happy, Shika-nii.”

  


Shikamaru softens and smiles. He dislodges Naruto’s hand to wrap his arm around the smaller boy and hugs him as they watch the Koi swimming in the little pond. “So am I, Naru. I’m really glad I found you.”

  


Unbeknownst to him, the Hokage is already here and has been listening to their conversation. He looks Shikaku in the eye with a raised eyebrow and an amused expression before turning to speak to Shikamaru. “That is a very serious promise, young man.”

  


Shikamaru startles and turns sharply, shifting his body automatically to cover his vulnerable little brother. His eyes sweep over the old man, cool and assessing. His chin ticks down to protect his throat even as he looks the man directly in the eyes. “Then it’s a good thing I have no intention of breaking my promise, now isn’t it?”

  


The words are a gauntlet thrown down, a challenge for the other man to try to make him a liar(and when it comes to family Shikamaru(Hyo) has never lied and he never will. He will die to protect them if it ever comes down to it). The Hokage stares down at him, just as assessing, and he must see something that he likes. Or perhaps he is reading the truth of Shikamaru’s character is in his eyes and feels validation for the decision he is obviously making. Regardless, whatever it is that he sees soon has him smiling in something like approval. “You are Nara Shikamaru, yes?”

  


“I’m sure you already know the answer to your own question but, yes, I am. And you are?” Shikamaru’s voice is calm, not even a hint of trepidation making his voice waver.

  


The Hokage’s smile widens at his response. He bows his head slightly as he introduces himself, “I am Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Sandaime Hokage. Do you mind if I sit down? After all, I _am_ an old man?”

  


Shikamaru doesn’t bat an eyelash. “You are more than welcome to sit and rest, elder, but, somehow, I get the feeling that even an _old man_ such as yourself has more than one trick up his sleeve. After all, a person doesn’t get to be where you are and stay there for as long as you have without having the ability to back up his or her claim.”

  


Naruto’s little head is twisting towards his brother then back towards the Hokage as if he is watching a ping pong match as they talk. Then, “Shika-nii, wha’ ah’ dose words mean?”

  


“I’ll explain it later when we have more time. Okay?” Shikamaru responds.

  


“’m’kay. Kaa-chan, can I ha’e ‘nack pease?”

  


“Of course, Naruto. Why don’t you and I go make a bunch of snacks so your Aniki and everyone else can have one too?” Yoshino held her hand out for him to take as he came over to her.

  


“Hai!”

  


Shikamaru relaxed a little as soon as Naruto and his mother went inside. While he doesn’t think the Hokage means any harm to his family it doesn’t mean he should let his guard down. He turns and opens one of the shogi doors and respectfully gestures inside. “After you, Hokage-sama.”

  


“Arigato.” The Sarutobi walks in calmly and settles down on one of the zabutons on the left side of the room. Shikamaru kneels down across from him and waits. The elderly man watches him with a speculative gleam in his eyes for a short time before saying, “I’ve heard some very good things about you, young man.”

  


“Oh?”

  


“Mm,” the Kage hums affirmatively. “Yes and I can see why your father speaks of you the way he does. You really do have the most remarkable eyes. It’s very rare for such an indomitable spirit to be so clear in a person’s eyes. Rarer still for such a strong will to be found in a child. Your father calls you an old soul. I must say I agree with him.”

  


“That’s why you wanted to talk to me? My strong will?” Shikamaru frowns, confusion clear on his face. “But...there are others who have strong wills, aren't there?”

  


“Oh, most certainly but not quite like yours, Nara-kun. I look at you and I see something very special in you. At the same time, however, I also see something very sad in you,” the Sarutobi says in a soft voice. With a strange sort of reverence the man continues, “I see a great grief in you. The kind of grief that comes that comes from losing everything. I’ve seen it so many times that it is easy to recognize. It isn’t a kind of grief a child should have. And yet, here you, a child, are with such a weight in your eyes that it makes this old heart ache.”

  


Shikamaru’s frown deepens and his eyes fall to his folded hands as he states, “You’re curious as to what made me as I am today.”

  


“Undoubtedly so but I won’t pry.”

  


Shikamaru looks up sharply, searching for a lie but the Hokage meets his eyes levelly. “Why?”

  


“Because I see what your father does. I see a determination like no other in you, a Will of Fire that burns so strong and hot that no one will ever be able to douse it or tame it. Because a Will like yours is one that will protect this village without hesitation. You are a fighter, a protector, and not even I can deny that after meeting you,” the old man says solemnly.

  


Shikamaru grits his teeth and spits out, “What if I can’t? What if I can’t do what you think I’m capable of? What if these hands aren’t enough to protect this place like you think I can?”

  


The Hokage laughs suddenly, softly, and says, before Shikamaru can take offense, “My dear boy, _that_ is when you rely on _others_ to help you. After all, I never said you’d be alone in the protecting of this Great Tree. There are many people already protecting our home. I hope that one day, though not anytime soon, you will join the ranks of those who do so now.”

  


“But...I couldn’t even protect my family...” The words are almost a whisper and drag like razors along the inside of his throat and Shikamaru closes his eyes against the burning in them, against the pain in his chest. “I...I couldn’t do _anything_ to keep them safe.”

  


“I know,” Sarutobi Hiruzen says not unkindly. “I felt the same way when my eldest son disappeared. Again, when my wife was taken from me. And yet again when my daughter-in-law passed away after giving birth to my only grandchild. Sometimes there is no way to protect the ones we love. Sometimes, all we can do is keep living. I think our lost loved ones would be most displeased if we dishonored them by not making the most of the lives we have now. Don’t you agree?”

  


(Shikamaru suddenly remembers a night sky studded with so many stars shining down that they are impossible to count. Shikamaru(Hyo) remembers the scents of flowers and kindness that surrounds a young woman with the heart and soul of an angel. He remembers hope and faith and light and a wholehearted, undying love given without expecting anything in return. Remembers a gentle hand in his hair and a sweet voice in his ear. ‘ _You’re a living person, Kitten. Just like me._ _Just like_ _Zack and Cloud and all the others. You don’t have to live this life as if you’re all alone because you aren’t._ _Not anymore_ _. I’m here for you,_ _Hyo,_ _and I’ll remind you as many times as I_ _need_ _to. This life you have...it’s a life worth living. And that’s what I want you to do._ _I want you to l_ _ive._ _I want you to find the happiness I know is out there waiting for you_ _. So, please...won’t you try? For me?’)_

  


Hyo(Shikamaru) doesn’t try to stop the tears that pour down his face. His eyes, however, stay closed as he slowly, shakily, breathes in. Then he breathes out a nearly silent word to the still air, to the Hokage(to his fallen sister, his angel in disguise), “ _Yes.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you as emotionally wrung out as I am? I came close to crying quite a few time while writing this.


	6. A Life Worth Living (Alternatively, It’s Time to Get Up and Get On)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so Chapter 5 both did and didn’t go where I wanted it to. I get to Hiruzen and HE DECIDES TO STEAL MY PLOT! The turd… Shikaku was supposed to meet with him about Naruto and Hiruzen was like ‘Nope, I want to talk about your boy’. Seriously, Hiruzen? Seriously? Urgh. Those two weren’t supposed to meet until a bit later on and he certainly wasn’t supposed to pick up on Shikamaru being as different as he is. When he was supposed to find out, though, it wasn’t going to end with him essentially saying ‘Yeah, there’s something seriously wrong with you, kid, but everyone is a bit off in the head these days. Not to mention the fact that I think you’re an okay guy so I think I’ll keep you around’. So yeah...that happened. It’s still happening in this chapter. -sighs- F-ing Hiruzen... Hopefully, this won’t change things too much later on.

(Hiruzen’s POV)

 

Hiruzen watches as the boy’s features crumple in anguish. He had not spoken untruly when he had said that he sees a great grief in the child. This is only further confirmation for him. “I know,” the Kage tells him. “I felt the same way when my eldest son disappeared. Again, when my wife was taken from me. And yet again when my daughter-in-law passed away after giving birth to my only grandchild. Sometimes there is no way to protect the ones we love. Sometimes, all we can do is keep living. I think our lost loved ones would be most displeased if we dishonored them by not making the most of the lives we have now. Don’t you agree?”

 

Hiruzen doesn’t know who the boy used to be but it is clear to him, as tears start to run down this lost boy’s face, that the young man has been pushing his grief down for a very long time. It is even clearer to him that the boy is remembering something. Something that has affected him deeply. He watches as Nara Shikamaru’s takes in a slow and shaky breath. Then he breathes out a nearly silent word, “ _Yes._ ”

 

The Sarutobi is certain that this answer is meant for more than just his question. It is an answer meant for someone long since passed. An answer that had, perhaps, never been given before it was too late. It is a sad thing and Hiruzen carefully stands so that he may sit down beside the boy who also isn’t. He gently wraps his left arm around the child and tugs him to his side. Softly, he says, “I’ve been around for a long time, young man, and I’ve seen and experienced many things. Many of them bad, many of them heartbreaking but there is good in this world too. I see it every day as I look out over my village and I see the many people I consider to be my family going about their daily lives.”

 

A tight noise comes from the boy as if he is holding in, holding back, then, “‘ _You’re a living person. Just like me. Just like all the others. You don’t have to live this life as if you’re all alone because you aren’t. Not anymore. I’m here for you and I’ll remind you as many times as I need to. This life you have...it’s a life worth living. And that’s what I want you to do. I want you to live. I want you to find the happiness I know is out there waiting for you. So, please...won’t you try? For me?’_

 

 _ **She**_ told me that once, a long, long time ago but...it’s _hard._ It’s so hard to keep _going_ but what choice do I have? Because, even now, I still have too much to live for. But it _hurts_ to _stay._ ” The boy continues after a long pause, “I don’t...I don’t think I know _how_ to live. Not- _not the way_ _ **she’**_ _ **d**_ _want me to_.”

 

Hiruzen hums thoughtfully, “I don’t think many do know. I think that we just try the best we can. It’s all we can do. But I will tell you this – Living may hurt, it may make it hard for you to want to stay but we cannot find true joy without having first known pain. We can never truly appreciate life until we have learned just how short it really it. You are hurting now and that is understandable but doesn’t that hurt make what little joy you may find even more meaningful?

 

“Whoever _**she**_ was, _**she**_ seems like a very wise woman.”

 

The little Nara curls against his side and says in a watery voice, “ _ **She**_ wasn’t just wise. _**She**_ was the embodiment of _everything_ that was, is, and will ever be good in the world. The kind of good that makes you believe that maybe, just maybe, there _is_ a higher power out there that watches over us and that it cares enough to let angels walk amongst us. Because that’s what _**she**_ was, an angel in disguise walking with humans to try and make their lives even the _slightest_ bit better.”

 

“I see.” And truly he does. He can see a wonderful woman holding out a helping hand and he can imagine what someone as lost as this child would feel when confronted by such kindness. He can feel a wet patch forming where the boy has pressed the side of his face to his chest and he hugs him just the slightest bit tighter. “Then doesn’t it make it even more important for you to try to live? The way such a wonderful person asked you to?”

 

The boy lets out a quiet sob as he nods his head and Hiruzen sighs, “The ones we love are never truly gone, dear child. They live on in our hearts and memories. They pass on their Will of Fire to those closest to them when they die and we carry that Will alongside our own. One day there will come a time when we must both pass on our own Wills to those closest to us or perhaps even to the next generation. When that time comes we will live on in their hearts and, in that way, we will always be by their sides.”

 

“You...you’ve mentioned that before, the Will of Fire,” the child starts quietly. He pauses and swallows before continuing, “what does it mean?”

 

Hiruzen smiles. Finally, the question he has been waiting to hear. “It is what every Konoha shinobi possesses. The Will of Fire is the will to protect your family, your friends and your comrades. It is loving, believing in, cherishing, and wanting to protect this village. It is having the strength to continue fighting against all odds, regardless of injury or loss. The Will of Fire is many things, child. It has been defined in innumerable ways by countless shinobi and I’m certain you will find your own way of defining it as well.”

 

The Nara heir is still and silent against his side for an extended amount of time. He simply leans against him and breathes. Hiruzen wonders if the boy is thinking over his words. Finally, “You think I have it? This Will of Fire?”

 

Hiruzen laughs somewhat joyously, unable to help himself because if there is one thing he knows it is the Will of Fire. “My dear boy, I know you do! I would have never mentioned it to you if you didn’t have it.”

 

He feels the boy pull away and looks down to see him staring up at him with a frown. His face is slightly wet and his eyes red but there are no more tears. “How? How do you know?”

 

“I told you earlier, my young friend. It is in your eyes for all the world to see, a determination like no other. It was in your eyes when you pushed little Naruto behind you. It was in your eyes when your mother left with him. It is still there for anyone to find if they _only know how to look_ for it,” he says with a fond smile. “A Will like yours is a sight to behold.”

 

The child nods slowly, deliberately, as if he has come to a decision. “I know you said it’s because of my Will that you aren’t prying into my past but...what made you decide that my Will was a good thing?”

 

“The way you tried to protect Naruto,” Hiruzen replies promptly. “You put yourself in front of him without any hesitation. Even if you weren’t strong enough to stop me you would have done everything in your power to delay me for however long you could. That kind of behavior is the sort that veteran shinobi have when up against a stronger force or opponents. I have lost some of my best shinobi to it before because they chose to stay behind to give their teammates a fighting chance, whether that chance is to complete a mission or to escape from a situation that is beyond their ability to handle.”

 

“Oh… And...you-you’re okay with that?” The Nara looks his age now, young and confused.

 

“Undoubtedly so. However, I would much prefer that you _don’t_ get yourself into any bad situations anytime soon, agreed?” The Hokage says to the child with an authoritative look.

 

The boy nods, “I’ll try. I can’t promise it won’t happen but I’ll try.”

 

Hiruzen nods, “That’s all I can ask of you when it comes to that. However, I want you to promise me something.”

 

“What kind of promise?”

 

“I want you to remember all the good times you had before and I want you to write them down. Then, when you finish, I want you to write down every good thing that has happened to you, every happy moment, every moment that you have felt grateful for in this life. I want you to continue to write, afterward, because there will be more moments, more memories. It will be a journal, of sorts, full of every moment that has ever brought you happiness and it will be something tangible that you can go back to every time life becomes difficult. Your otou-san can place a seal on the journal, or journals, if that is the case so that it will only open for you.

 

“Will you promise me that?”

 

Nara Shikamaru looks at him for a long moment with eyes that are so very dark and unfathomable. Then he says, resolutely, “I promise.”

 

* * *

 

Hiruzen sighs as he leans against a tree while staring up at the sky. Shikaku is beside him, a quiet and sedate presence. Finally, the Nara shifts. “So...”

 

“He is just as you suspect, Shikaku, and so much more besides. I would ask that you tread carefully. He is sorely wounded in heart and soul. Naruto, I think, is a balm to those wounds. Why I do not know nor will I ever ask. If he chooses to confide in you then that will be his choice.”

 

“And if he does?”

 

“Do not try to break his trust. I have a feeling that you will never get it back if you act carelessly.”

 

“Do you think this will cause problems later?”

 

“I think that only an idiot would provoke him to anger and, more likely than not, that anger will be used to protect. The only question is, who will be the idiot provoking him and what will he be protecting when said idiot eventually succeeds.”

 

“Ah… Mendokuse...”

 

“Mm, quite. Shikaku.”

 

“Hai?”

 

“Be good parents to that boy. He desperately needs you and Yoshino.”

 

“You needn’t have said anything. We would still try to do our best by him even without your input. Him being different doesn’t change who he is or how we feel about him. He’s our son, after all.”

 

* * *

(Shikamaru’s POV)

 

He’s staring into nothing when his mother finds him. He feels more than sees, her sitting down beside him and he tilts abruptly to lean on her. A gentle hand caresses the top of his head before sliding through his unbound hair.

 

“I’ve always known that you were special,” she says. Softly, she continues, “you’re otou-san always worries when you stare off into the distance like this but I see it for what it is. You miss them, your family from before.”

 

Shikamaru nods and rasps, “Yeah. It’s hard not to when they were my everything. Now they’re gone and I’ll never see them again. I...I was adopted, you know. My brothers were my world and I would have done anything for them. My brother-in-law, he saved me and it was because of him that I met my sister.”

 

“What was she like?”

 

“She was an angel… Okaa-san, I want to tell you a story.”

 

“Then tell me.”

 

“The Lifestream... That’s what we call the river of life that circles our Planet, giving life to the world and everything in it. The Shinra Electric Power Company discovered a way to use the Lifestream as an energy source. Because of Shinra’s energy we were able to live very comfortable lives but wasn’t that because we were taking away from the Planet’s life. A lot of people thought so.

 

Shinra used their power to try and stop anybody who got in their way. Shinra had a special group of warriors called SOLDIER and all of the SOLDIERs had JENOVA cells put inside them. JENOVA was a calamity that fell from the sky a long, _long_ time ago and tried to _destroy_ the Planet. Anyway, there was one SOLDIER who was better than the rest but when he found out about the terrible experiments that made him, he began to hate Shinra. And then, over time, he began to hate everything.

 

Shinra and the people against them. The SOLDIER, who hated the Planet so much he wanted to make it go away and the people who tried to stop him. There were _a lot_ of battles. For every battle, there was more sadness. Someone I love went back to the Lifestream too.

 

And then, it came. The chosen day. In the end, the Planet itself had to make the battles stop for good. The Planet used the Lifestream as a weapon and when it burst out of the earth all the fighting, all the greed and sadness, everything was washed away. Sadness was the price to see it end.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shikaku and Yoshino knowing about their son *sighs* yeah...It's a thing now. Freaking plot stealing Hokage. And yes, I did use the intro from Advent Children. Not quite word for word but close enough because Shikamaru isn't ready to name names just yet. Be it his own or others'.
> 
> Blarg.... 
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you think about plot stealer Hiruzen and his shenanigans.


	7. Moving On (Alternatively, Letting Go Doesn’t Mean Forgetting)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the plot isn't quite back on track but it's getting there! Sorry this took so long but I procrastinated like heck yesterday and wound up getting nothing done. It's here now, though. Enjoy!

* * *

(Yoshino’s POV)

  


Yoshino lies in her bed staring at the shadowed ceiling, Shikamaru’s words still echoing in her head. _‘_ _The SOLDIER, who hated the Planet so much he wanted to make it_ _ **go away**_ _and the people who tried to stop him. There were a lot of battles.’_ What would it be like to have to fight against someone who hates that much, she wonders. And then she remembers, _‘Someone I love went back to the Lifestream too.’_ My poor baby, she thinks. Her son’s voice had been grief-stricken, his eyes full of the emotion. ‘ _Sadness was the price to see it end.’_

  


She wishes that she had bundled her son and little Naruto up and tucked them in with Shikaku and herself. At least that way she could have reminded herself that her son is with _them_ and not in some far away place where she cannot reach him. But her son is an independent child for all that he is so little at this moment and one day he will be tall and strong like so many of the shinobi in their Clan. She wonders, what had he been like _then_? Had he been kind? Had his family, of before, loved him as much as he loved them? ‘ _Sadness was the price to see it end.’_

  


Yoshino closes her eyes against the memory of those words. Sadness. She has never disliked a word so much before but there is a first time for everything(she thinks that she may just hate it now). Shikaku, newly returned from tucking in the children, slips onto the bed and sighs heavily as he knocks his back on the headboard. “Are they okay?”

  


“Mm, as okay as they can be. Naruto still thinks that his Aniki is going to disappear and Shikamaru is barely in this world, mentally, that is, right now.”

  


“It’s not surprising,” she says as she turns over to look at him. “Whoever our son used to be, that person fought many times to protect the people he cared about. He’s lost a lot. He… His world essentially _ended_ when he was born to us so he’s already lost _everything_. He...he told me ‘ _Sadness was the price to see it end’_ but I don’t know which ending he was speaking about… I don’t know how many endings our child may have seen!” Yoshino’s voice rises a little and her eyes glimmer with unshed tears.

  


  


Softer, she continues, “how many more endings will our poor boy have to see? How many more people will he lose in this life? How long until those losses become nothing more then a tally on the board? Until they become statistics used to try and keep himself from getting close to anyone for fear of getting hurt again?”

  


“I don’t know, Yoshino. I really don’t,” Shikaku murmurs. “All we can do is try and make this life the best it can be for him and to give him something to return home to. And hope he finds someone who makes him want to live, to keep coming home.”

  


* * *

(Shikamaru’s POV)

  


When he wakes up in the morning the first thing he notices is that Naruto is sprawling over him like some sort of demented blanket. A tiny grin tugs at the corners of his lips and widens, and before he can stop himself, he starts to chuckle. That something so simple can make him laugh is a wonder and he closes his eyes(thanking whatever being that watches over him for this second chance). Shikamaru lies there for several minutes before the scent of cooking food reaches him. Shikamaru sighs softly as he begins to poke his otouto.

  


“Naru. Naru, wake up. Okaa-san is cooking breakfast.”

  


“Don’...wanna...”

  


“Don’t make me call otou-san. If I have to yell at the top of my lungs then you’re going to regret it.”

  


“nooooo….”

  


Shikamaru takes a deep breath and says, “You asked for it.”

  


He then proceeds to tickle his brother mercilessly. The blond flails, jerks away(not without put his knees into uncomfortable soft spots but Hyo(Shikamaru) was entirely too accustomed to pain from his past and ignores it) and cries out. “Me’ie!”

  


“Should have gotten up,” Shikamaru says. Smugly, he finishes, “I did warn you.”

  


Naruto sticks his tongue out at him and Shikamaru lunges at the younger boy, who startles and falls off the bed. Shikamaru slips off the bed after him and holds out his hand. “Come on, Naru. Okaa-san has already started cooking and if we don’t get down there soon we won’t be able to help her make otou-san’s lunch. He’s gotta work today, remember?”

  


“Un!” The Uzumaki is on his feet quickly and out the door before Shikamaru can say anything else.

  


The Nara rolls his eyes heavenward with a ‘what can you do’ smile. Quietly he murmurs, “I know you’re probably still watching over me but...you don’t have to worry about me so much. Not anymore. I’m going to keep trying. Just like you asked me to all those years ago. Besides...you’d be pretty disappointed in me if I didn’t at least _try_ to do my best before we meet again. I won’t forget you or everything you did for me and I hope you and all the rest will be proud of the life I’ve led until the day we can see one another again.”

  


* * *

(Shikaku’s POV)

  


Watching Naruto run down the hall and thump noisily down the stairs was a bit amusing but, just as he is going to look into his son’s room to speak to him, he hears the boy begin to speak quietly. “I know you’re probably still watching over me but...you don’t have to worry about me so much. Not anymore. I’m going to keep trying. Just like you asked me to all those years ago. Besides...you’d be pretty disappointed in me if I didn’t at least _try_ to do my best before we meet again. I won’t forget you or everything you did for me and I hope you and all the rest will be proud of the life I’ve led until the day we can see one another again.”

  


The words are just more confirmation about something Shikaku knows but the intent behind them is what’s comforting. After all, promises made by the living to the dead are a rather common occurrence within a shinobi village. And promises made to keep going? Those are considered to be the most important kind. Shikaku leans against the door frame and says, “I’ll hold you to that since they aren’t here to hold you to it themselves.”

  


His son doesn’t startle. He merely levels an unreadable look on Shikaku. Then he takes a slow, deep breath and nods, “Okay. I think they’d like that, knowing that someone is here to watch over me...”

  


His son trails off for a moment, “...I think...I think they’d have all liked you and okaa-san.”

  


“Oh?” Shikaku says it casually so as to not cause his son to clam up.

  


“Mm, you and okaa-san would have gotten along with them pretty well,” Shikamaru says this with a thoughtful look.

  


“Well, that just makes it more important for the two of us to make sure you stick around for a long time. I’d hate to piss off a group of people who care about my kid that much.”

  


Shikamaru grins, “I think you’d hate to piss them off period… We weren’t exactly the nicest people to those who’d mess with us. Then again, most of those people were pretty messed up in the head in the first place so...”

  


“Ah. As in?”

  


“As in, I’m gonna kill, main, destroy, what have you, just for kicks kind of messed up.”

  


Shikaku gives his son a deadpan look. Shikamaru shrugs nonchalantly, “Not my fault. I got pulled into all sorts of...crap just because I happened to exist. The fact that I got as far as I did just means I was stronger and more intelligent than the idiots that came after us.”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think about what's happened so far. I can't help but think that some might not like the last couple of chapters. I'm not happy about the Professor taking off with part of the 'script' and replacing it with his own but there's nothing I can do about it now.


	8. Sealing Anyone? (Alternatively, Today Was A Really Bad Day to Leave the House)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shikamaru and Naruto are confronted by a monster in human skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: We’ve got another time skip. Enjoy the chapter!

(Shikamaru’s POV)

  


The day is nice, Shikamaru thinks somewhat absentmindedly as he and his now five-year-old little brother walk down one of the streets as they head to the library. He hopes the nice librarian lady is there and not the old and vicious hag of a woman(it’s rude to think that way, he knows, but the bitch(and he wishes he had a better word to call her because he knows some very nice mother dogs, to be honest)) who is always utterly nasty to Naru and neither he nor Naru can stand her. As it is, right now Shikamaru constantly has to keep Naru on track because the other boy’s mind jumps from one topic to the next and he has the attention span of a magpie(shiny objects and Naru are something he will never understand). Regardless, Shikamaru yet again gently tugs Naru away from a shop that has caught his eye with a long-suffering sigh. “Come on, Naru. If we take any longer the library will close for lunch!”

  


“Aw...but it all looks so interesting!”

  


“We see the same thing every time we pass by. It hasn’t changed in month-HEY!” Shikamaru doesn’t mean to raise his voice but being abruptly tugged down a side street can be somewhat alarming.

  


“Shika-nii! Look! There are books! Someone’s just thrown them out!”

  


Naruto is still exclaiming over the abandoned books as Shikamaru pinches the bridge of his nose and looks up with a ‘I did this to myself’ look. He sighs and then looks the books over with a critical eye, “Most of them are fairly damaged. You might find a few that are in okay condition but I wouldn’t count on it.”

  


“What if I do?”

  


“Then we’ll ask the librarian if the books can be restored and, if it is possible, how much would it cost. Choose wisely, Naru. We still have to get our own books from the library so we can do that project for kaa-san.”

  


“Okay!” The boy takes his time perusing the old novels before he gasps and very gently pulls out an old and worn out tome. He breathes out softly, “Shika-nii, look! It’s a book on sealing! Remember what tou-san told us about my clan when you read that old history book to me?”

  


“Yeah. The Uzumaki were expert sealers. Why are you ask…” Shikamaru trails off as his eyes widen. “No. Oh no. I am not getting myself-”

  


“Please?!” Naru pulls out the puppy eyes and Shikamaru groans because Naru only uses it on very rare occasions and it always works since the boy never allows Shikamaru to become immune to the look through exposure.

  


“Tch,” Shikamaru clicks his tongue in a harassed manner. “Fine, whatever but you get to explain this to our parents. I’m not taking the fall for any shenanigans you pull either. Got it?”

  


“Hai! Arigato, Shika-nii!” The brilliant sunrise smile Naru has breaks over his face and Shikamaru knows that he’d do anything to keep that smile on the boy’s face(he’ll probably be pulled into Naru’s shenanigans regardless of what he said earlier(just like Yuffie used to pull him into hers)).

  


The older five-year-old sighs again. “Don’t thank me just yet, Naru. You still have to get kaa-san’s and tou-san’s permission first. Anyway, are we done here? Can we go now?”

  


“Yeah! Library!”

  


Shikamaru’s look is long-suffering yet again.

  


(In the Hokage Tower Hiruzen chuckles as he watches the two boys. Naruto’s antics are always good for a laugh and the little Nara’s reactions were amusing as well. One would think that the boy was an old man with his long-suffering but indulgent ways. He will have to warn Shikaku about Naruto’s new interest, though.)

  


* * *

  


Shikamaru frowns as his once buried instincts come flooding to the surface of his mind. They’ve been whispering for a while now but now they are all screaming one thing. He and Naru are being followed by someone with ill intentions. They are almost to the library when he decides to discreetly look over his shoulder as if looking back at the trees in the courtyard. A man, his mind supplies instantly, with dark brown hair, pale skin, and a somewhat crazed look in his eyes.

  


That look brings back bad memories and even more long-buried instincts(in the back of his mind the less human part of himself, of Hyo, lifts its head as if scenting the air). Shikamaru(Hyo) tenses his shoulders against a shudder and pretends he doesn’t see the man. Discretion is the better part of valor, after all, and he carefully tugs Naru just a little bit faster towards the doors. Naru gives him a confused look but Shikamaru shakes his head and says softly, “I need you to do _exactly_ as I say, okay, Naru?”

  


“What’s wrong?” The blond is just as quiet as Shikamaru at this point.

  


“We’re being followed and it’s not by one of your ANBU friends,” Shikamaru whispers.

  


“Is it one of _them_?” Naru’s voice is worried.

  


“I don’t know. All I know is that whatever he wants can’t be good. We find the librarian as soon as we get inside, yeah?”

  


Naru nods, “Yeah.”

  


And that is exactly what they do. Especially since the man has followed them in even if he has kept his distance. The librarian is not one they’ve seen before and she gives Naru a cold look before turning to address Shikamaru when she suddenly registers the look on both boys’ faces. She kneels down and frowns a little as she asks, “What’s happened? Are you okay?”

  


Naru whispers in a scared voice, “A bad man followed us inside. Shika-nii saw him and...”

  


The woman takes a sharp breath as her eyes harden. Her voice is soft as she asks, “What does he look like?”

  


Shikamaru speaks up, “Dark brown hair, dark eyes, pale skin and he looks… He gives me the chills, Miss.”

  


“I see. Follow me and stay close, both of you. I’m going to summon an ANBU to deal with him.”

  


She leads them through the library and shows them a rather large child’s section and tells them, somewhat loudly, “Now boys, I’ll be trusting you to behave yourselves. No funny business, do you understand?”

  


Translation: ‘I’ll be back as soon as possible but I can’t summon the ANBU here. Scream if you see him.’

  


Shikamaru nods, “We understand. Don’t we, Naru?”

  


Naru nods and smiles, “Thank you for going to find our books, Miss! The library is so large!”

  


The librarian nods severely and sweeps off. Shikamaru sighs and goes to look at the more complex child’s books, “Come on, Naru. We might as well read something while she gets the books we need.”

  


“Okay! What should we read first? Hmm...”

  


The boys look through the books for a moment before Shikamaru stiffens and the hairs on the back of his neck begin to rise. Without thinking he turns and pushes Naruto down with a sharp cry. The man is right behind him already and Shikamaru can only hope that the younger boy will run for help as he is grabbed and spun around(and he has never hated being right more than he does now. The look in his eyes is like that of the person who had abducted Marlene once(he may not have gotten the chance to do what he’d wanted but Hyo had murdered him in cold blood none the less)).

  


  


It is Hyo(not little Shikamaru) that peels back his lips and snarls as he lunges forward to try and distract the man. It is Hyo who takes a sharp blow to his face in retaliation for a nasty bite he gives. It is Hyo who feels his shoulder dislocate as he is jerked too roughly while the man tries to subdue him. But Hyo has been hurt far worse than this before and he twists out of the man’s grip and manages to sink his teeth into the monster’s thigh as deep as he can(which is rather surprisingly deep since his teeth are so small). The man howls in rage and pain and Hyo is struck again before he suddenly pulled away from the man. He sees a whole squad of ANBU pinning the man down roughly even as he is gently pulled into someone’s arms. Hyo looks up sharply with narrowed eyes and a snarl still rumbling in his throat.

  


“Take it easy, kiddo,” a man with an Inu mask says. “I’m here to help you not hurt you. Hato! How’s the other pup?”

  


Naruto! Hyo remembers abruptly and his snarl gets louder as he begins to struggle in the ANBU’s arms.

  


“I said, take it easy!” Inu mask barks sharply. “You’ll only panic your brother acting like this!”

  


Hyo stops struggling but his rumbling doesn’t subside in the least. It won’t until he is reunited with his little brother.

  


“At least he’s a good Aniki,” a female says as she gently sets Naruto down in front of them.

  


Hyo groans low and animal-like, the noise deep in his throat, as he sees the blood on the side of his little brother’s head. The little blond gives him a weak smile and a thumbs up. “I’m okay, Shika-nii. He just clipped me. But...you-you look really bad, Shika-nii. Are you okay?”

  


“Fine.” The word comes out as more of a gasp than the calm tone he’d meant it as but Hyo ignores it in favor of giving the man holding him a dark look. He bites out, “I’m fine. Now put me _down.”_

  


The ANBU _chuckles_ at him. “Look at him, Hato. So tough and strong this little guy is. He reminds me of a kitten all puffed up and hissing and spitting at a dog.”

  


Hyo’s rumbles louder this time and twists to glare at him with dark, cold eyes. “Do _not_ call me _that_! You _don’t_ have the _right_ to call me _that_!”

  


Inu masked ANBU just sighs, “Kids these days, no sense of humor.”

  


“I will _fucking bite you_ if you don’t put me down right _now_ ,” Hyo snarls(his pain doesn’t matter to him. All he wants is to get away from this person mocking him and to make sure Naru doesn’t have any more injuries. He’s quite serious about the biting too).

  


“Let him go, Inu.” A large man wearing a mask with a more wild looking canine on it says firmly. “Shikaku will kick your ass if one of his boys says that you were bothering him. He’ll be pissed enough that they were attacked. Boy, let Hato look you over and heal those injuries.”

  


Hyo shakes his head and his voice grates out as he says, “Naru, first. He’s my little brother so he goes first.”

  


The ANBU look at each other and shrug as Hato gently guides Naruto to sit down beside the growling child. If anyone had looked closer they would have seen the tiniest hint of acid green around his pupils.

  


* * *

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Notes #2: And now we are back on plot. I hated doing that to the boys but it is very necessary for later plot development. You’ll understand later, I promise.


	9. Hurt (Alternatively, Just Let Me Be Okay)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shikamaru just needs people to stop pushing.

* * *

(Shikaku’s POV)

  


When Shikaku hears that his sons have been attacked he is nearly apoplectic. The rage that fills him is not the pure kind that wipes away any thoughts except that of killing the person responsible for it. No, it is the dark kind and Shikaku embraces it as he stalks down the halls of T&I. His face is a study in fury and the rookie T&I members scurry to get out of his as quickly as possible. Anko is trotting at his side quietly. Shikaku is grateful for that(he doesn’t want to take this rage out on her. She doesn’t deserve it).

  


“So...” the female starts tentatively. Then, more firmly, she asks, “how do you want to do this? Ibiki and I can handle if you just want to watch.”

  


“I have no intention of sitting back this round, Anko. I appreciate what you’re trying to do but _that thing_ attacked my boys. _My boys_ , Anko. Naruto may not be mine by blood but he’s _mine_ none the less. Besides, you didn’t see Shikamaru. He took the brunt of the attack trying to protect Naruto. He has a dislocated left shoulder – he’ll be in a brace for at _least_ three weeks – bruises up and down the left side of his face, stitches above his brow and on his temple, and he has a serious concussion. So no, you and Ibiki won’t be the only people in that room,” Shikaku says in a calm voice(it is a lie). He continues, “I intend to take my sons’ pounds of flesh out of that man for what he did. I want him to know exactly who he attacked and just who he pissed off by doing so. I want him to know exactly why he is going to suffer. _**And he will suffer**_.”

  


* * *

(Shikamaru’s POV)

  


The first thing Shikamaru does when he sees the ceiling tiles of the hospital is close his eyes and sigh roughly. It doesn’t help very much(he can still remember the smell of the labs and it doesn’t matter if this is a place of healing. It has the same smell of antiseptic, chemicals, illness, pain, suffering, and death. Shikamaru(Hyo) hates it with every fiber of his being). His senses aren’t as strong as earlier and his head feels heavy and fuzzy. Drugged, he thinks and fights down a violent judder(he has never liked being sedated. Bad things have always happened when he’s been drugged). He’s pretty certain that there is an IV in his hand and he clenches his jaw against the urge to reach over and tear it out with his good hand.

  


There is a rustle to his left and a quiet whisper, “Shika-nii? Are you awake?”

  


Shikamaru’s eyes snap open and he swiftly turns his head. Only to immediately regret it as a headache explodes into being. He closes his eyes tightly and softly rasps, “...ow… I...regret...so...much...”

  


His little brother lets out a watery giggle and whispers, “Yeah… That wasn’t your greatest idea, Shika-nii. Do I need to get a nurse?”

  


“No.” Shikamaru can’t fight his shudder this time. He gives his brother a small smile and continues with a softer voice, “no. I’m fine. It’s just a headache. I get them all the time, remember? This isn’t any different.”

  


Naru scowls at him and hisses, “Except this time a bad guy tried to cave in your head! It’s not nothing!”

  


His blue eyes fill with tears, “You’re really hurt, so just...stop… Stop pretending to be okay when you’re not.”

  


Shikamaru stares at him for a moment before sighing roughly again, this time as he struggles to push himself up in spite of the pain he is in. Naru cries out trying to get him to lie down but Shikamaru gives him a hard look. “Crying, whining, getting angry– none of those things are going to change what happened. They won’t help me heal. Yeah, I could do those things, play the victim that I am. _**O**_ _ **r**_ I can _**suck it up**_ and move on. Yes, I’m hurt. Yes, it sucks. Yes, I’m upset with myself for not being strong enough to protect us both from that asshole! But I’ll be _**damned**_ before I’ll let what happened to me make me anything _**less**_ than who and what I am! So give your Aniki more credit than what you’re giving me now! If I say I’m fine then I damn well am!”

  


Naru’s jaw is dropped and his eyes wide and Shikamaru remembers that he has never been truly upset with the Uzumaki before. He continues, though, his voice and eyes still hard, knowing that Naru needs to hear this. Naru needs to understand just what kind of brother he has. “You’re my brother, Naru. Above all else, _**you are my brother**_ and I will do, say, or sacrifice _**anything**_ necessary to protect you. Even if that anything is my own life. You are one of the few people in this world that I’d _**burn this world to the ground for**_. Don’t _**ever**_ doubt that. And don’t you start doubting _me_ now.

  


“Not _now_...after everything that’s happened. I can’t move on from this if you start treating me like I’m some sort of weak-willed victim who can’t even face the facts of what happened.” Shikamaru’s voice is softer by the end of his rant and he strangles the hurt trying to take root in his chest. His eyes burn as he looks away from the blond and out the window. “I’m not ignoring what happened. I’m not pushing it back and pretending it never happened but being okay is all I have right now. If I’m not okay then I won’t be able to live with myself. So let me deal with this in the way I need to so I can move on. Just...just let me be _okay_...”

  


“Oh...” Suddenly, Naru is in the bed with him and hugging him carefully. “I’m sorry, Shika-nii.”

  


Shikamaru(Hyo) closes his eyes and rests his forehead against Naru’s shoulder and he beings to shake silently but no tears come(he thinks he no longer has tears to cry).

  


* * *

(Yoshino’s POV)

  


She has only opened the door the tiniest bit when Shikamaru’s voice sounds out hard and angry. “Crying, whining, getting angry– none of those things are going to change what happened. They won’t help me heal. Yeah, I could do those things, play the victim that I am. _**O**_ _ **r**_ I can _**suck it up**_ and move on. Yes, I’m hurt. Yes, it sucks. Yes, I’m upset with myself for not being strong enough to protect us both from that asshole! But I’ll be _**damned**_ before I’ll let what happened to me make me anything _**less**_ than who and what I am! So give your Aniki more credit than what you’re giving me now! If I say I’m fine then I damn well am!

  


“You’re my brother, Naru. Above all else, _**you are my brother**_ and I will do, say, or sacrifice _**anything**_ necessary to protect you. Even if that anything is my own life. You are one of the few people in this world that I’d _**burn this world to the ground for.**_ Don’t _**ever**_ doubt that. And don’t you start doubting _me_ now.”

  


When his voice softens she can hear the hurt underscoring it. “Not _now_...after everything that’s happened. I can’t move on from this if you start treating me like I’m some sort of weak-willed victim who can’t even face the facts of what happened. I’m not ignoring what happened. I’m not pushing it back and pretending it never happened but being okay is all I have right now. If I’m not okay then I won’t be able to live with myself. So let me deal with this in the way I need to so I can move on. Just...just let me be _okay_...” His voice is nothing more than a whisper at the end.

  


She hears her adopted son apologize to his brother but all she can think is ‘My poor little boy, when is this world going to stop hitting you when you’re down?’ She leans against the wall and prays to any deity that will listen. ‘Please, please let my boy have more than this. Let him have more happiness rather than this pain he always seems to carry.’

  


After several minutes pass she quietly opens the door and peeks in. Naruto lifts his head from the pillow on the other side of his brother to look at her and gives her a weak smile. Shikamaru is leaning against his brother’s side and sleeping on the little blond’s shoulder. The bruises are starkly black and blue on his too pale face and a heavy black shoulder brace is wrapped around his small chest and the injured shoulder. He looks so tiny as opposed to how he normally looks. Her son is quiet but his presence has always been larger than life. He has always seemed so much taller and stronger than he looks now. And now...now he looks like the child he truly is and it hurts because her son shouldn’t look so small and fragile. He will hate it if she looks at him with anything close to pity.

  


She sits in the chair by her son’s bedside and sighs before quietly starting to talk. “Your brother, he’s a very proud person. He may not believe it and I know he thinks that pride is a useless emotion but he does have it. He’s always been stronger than anyone could imagine and he’s used to being strong, used to being the protector. He doesn’t know how to let that go, at least not easily.”

  


“But...aren’t you and tou-san stronger? Aren’t the two of you supposed to protect _us_?”

  


“We are but eventually you and Shikamaru will surpass us. Eventually, you won’t need us to protect you. That doesn’t mean we won’t try, though. Shikamaru knows this, knows that one day the two of you will be all each other has. We’re not immortal, Naru-chan, and neither of us wants to be. One day your tou-san and I won’t be here anymore. That will be a sad day for both of you but by that time you will both have people precious to you and they will be your strength in those hard times.”

  


“But why does Shika-nii need to be strong now?”

  


“Because he has you to watch over, Naru-chan. You are his precious otouto and he loves you very much. So much, in fact, that he did everything he could possibly do to make sure that monster wouldn’t lay hands on you. I know he didn’t succeed liked he wanted to but, in the end, he was far more hurt than you were and he wants it that way. He would rather take any hurt directed towards you on himself because that’s what good big brothers do. They protect the little ones that come after them,” Yoshino explains.

  


“Oh… I think...I hurt Shika-nii, kaa-san,” Naruto says sadly.

  


“Mm, you did but you also apologized and I know he’s already forgiven you even if he never said it. Your Shika-nii can never stay angry with you for very long. Besides, families fight. We may not want to but it does happen and it’s better for both of you to say what’s on your minds immediately rather than let it fester in silence. That’s how misunderstandings happen and really big fights occur. Do you understand, Naru-chan?”

  


Her son nods and sighs, “I’ll apologize again when he wakes up. I don’t want him to think he’s a bad big brother or that he isn’t strong ‘cause Shika-nii is the strongest person I know other than you and tou-san.”

  


“That’s a good idea. I’m certain he’ll appreciate it a lot.”

  


* * *

(Shikaku’s POV)

  


When he enters his sons’ hospital room, hours after he’d left, it is too pandemonium. Shikamaru is snapping and snarling at a nurse who has a syringe with a needle in one hand and another wagging in his face as she lectures him. The look in his son’s eyes tells him that the boy is about to do something ill-advised so he clears his throat. The nurse turns, visibly startled. Shikamaru just flicks his eyes towards him before fixing them back on the nurse and the syringe. It’s then that Shikaku notices that Shikamaru’s IV is missing and there is bruising on the back of his hand. Shikaku sighs, “Pulled it out, did you?”

  


Shikamaru scowls. “I was half asleep and still doped up when I saw it so I wasn’t exactly _thinking_ when it happened. Besides, I don’t need to be drugged to the gills. So if you’d tell the lady(his son spits the word like an insult and Shikaku has to fight down a smirk. He’s a snarky brat when he feels like it) to _back off_ I’d really appreciate it.”

  


Shikaku rocks back on his heels. “Are you sure, Shikamaru? You’ll be in a lot of pain if you choose not to get the medication.”

  


The look he gets in return is all Yoshino and Shikamaru says, “Who says I’m not in pain right now? And FYI, I’d rather be in pain than drugged. I can’t stand the way it makes my head fuzzy. I don’t really appreciate the nausea the medication brings either.”

  


“All right then. You’re free to go, miss. I suggest that you make note of it in his file that he’s refused pain medication with my permission.”

  


“But-”

  


“No buts. Make note of it and move on,” Shikaku says as he gives her a hard look. “I respect my son’s ability to make informed decisions and you will do the same. Have I made myself clear?”

  


The nurse flinches and looks away. “Hai.”

  


“Good. Now, Shikamaru, where are Yoshino and Naruto? I expected them to be here with you.”

  


“Cafeteria. I mentioned that I was hungry and Naruto realized he was too. He went with kaa-san to see if there was anything good on the menu. I’m not hopeful.” his son says this with such a resigned look that Shikaku has to chuckle.

  


“I’ll see about getting take-out next time. How’s that sound?”

  


“Better than hospital food,” the boy grouses. “I’d rather be at home, though.”

  


“I know,” Shikaku says softly. “I know but just deal with it for tonight. For your mother’s and my own peace of mind, okay? You gave us a scare, son.”

  


Shikamaru frowns and then sighs as he looks Shikaku in the eyes. “I’m fine, tou-san.”

  


Shikaku knows his boy, knows he means what he says even though he is beaten and bruised. He also knows that this is all his son has right now after being attacked by that monster. So he smiles sadly at his son and says, “I know but humor us, just this once, yeah?”

  


Shikamaru watches with unreadable eyes for a long moment before he softens. “Yeah, okay.”

  


* * *

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note #2: So what do you think?


	10. Protection (Alternatively, Naruto Puts A Good Spin On Learning Sealing)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Sorry this is a bit late but, as we all know, life happens. In this case ‘Life’ just so happened to be my misbehaving nephew and nieces.
> 
> On another note, I got some news today. I can’t quite call it good but it isn’t bad either. As any of my From Then to Now readers know – I lost my youngest sibling and only brother to a drunk driver on January 29, 2015. My brother was a pedestrian trying to do a good deed on the side of the road when the driver swerved off the road and struck him. The man is serving time in a penitentiary for 25 years and these days the loss doesn’t cause me quite as much pain as it used to and I go on with my life as best as possible. 
> 
> But there was someone who did not get justice served for her part in the incident – the woman who let that man use her vehicle despite knowing that he wasn’t sober. Today, however, we learned that the lawyer my father hired managed to get a settlement out of her for her part in my brother’s death. No, money will never bring my brother back nor will it heal the hole in my family’s hearts but it will go a long way in helping us get the things we need. It’s a huge thing for us and it also tells me that there were others out there that saw what we did – an accomplish to the hit and run that took my baby brother, a boy I had helped raise and who was like my own baby. My brother was only 18 when he died.
> 
> I still miss him so very much but he’s never coming home. And on that note – No matter how old my readers are, no matter what country you live in, please, do not drive while under the influence of anything! It only takes one time to not only ruin your own life but the lives of so many others. My brother was and is still very loved and there are so many people who miss him. Please don’t become someone who will cause that kind of pain to others because this sort of pain? It will stay with my family and the others who loved that boy for the rest of our lives

(Shikamaru’s POV)

  


Shikamaru sighs happily as he flops down onto his bed carefully(the brace may help keep his shoulder immobilized but that doesn’t mean that the injured joint can’t be jostled and he really doesn’t want to cause himself any more pain then he’s already in). Being home, though, is an awesome thing. He’s never realized just how much he could miss his own bed either. He snorts in amusement at himself(he sounds like his father after he’s been forced to get up for work).His already opened door swings open a little more and Naru peeks in with hopeful eyes. Shikamaru huffs, rolls his eyes and waves the other boy over. “Just don’t bounce on my bed. I’ll have to kick you off if you do.”

  


‘I won’t,” Naru chirps. He climbs onto the bed, settles down towards the end and gives his brother a serious look. “So… I was thinking that I should talk to tou-chan and kaa-chan today about us learning fuinjutsu. After… After yesterday, I really think this is something we should learn, Shika-nii. I wasn’t much help and you’re still too little to do as much damage as you’d need to put people like that down. If we learn Fuinjutsu then we can have protection with us wherever we go and all we’d have to do is smack a seal down if we need to and call for the ANBU to come get them.”

  


‘Right,’ Shikamaru thinks in annoyance, ‘now I have a guard as well.’

  


“Well?”

  


“You’re talking to our parents about it.” Shikamaru yawns suddenly. “I’m freaking tired so I think I’ll take a nap.”

  


“EH?! Already?!”

  


Shikamaru rolls his eyes at Naru’s response. “Yes, already. Believe it or not but healing takes up a lot of energy. It’s not something that just happens overnight. I’ll be healing for at least three weeks even with the help of iryojutsu.”

  


“Oh...but the nice ANBU lady who checked my head said I was already healing when she was healing me. I’ve always healed quickly. I thought everyone was like that.” Naru’s brow is furrowed and his face screwed up in confusion.

  


“Well, the Uzumaki _were_ known for their strong life force. The quick healing might be part of that.”

  


“Oh, okay. I’ll leave you to your nap.”

  


“Mm, wake me up after a couple of hours. Kaa-san will get angry if I sleep until supper.”

  


“Hai!”

  


* * *

(Shikaku’s POV)

  


“So… Fuinjutsu?” Shikaku says as he stares at the old and battered tome.

  


“Yeah. I really think this can help me and Shika-nii keep ourselves safe until the ANBU can safely get to us if something like this ever happens again. And...I don’t...I don’t want to be that useless _ever_ again. Shika-nii got hurt protecting me but if we’d learned Fuinjutsu earlier then this wouldn’t have happened. One of us could have put a seal on that guy to put him down before things got bad and the ANBU wouldn’t have had to save us. So please, tou-chan, kaa-chan? Will you help us learn? Please?”

  


His adopted son pulls out his infamous puppy dog eyes and Shikaku groans mentally because he can no more resist them than Shikamaru can. Yoshino, on the other hand, is giving the boy a contemplative look. Then she says, “You’ll have to work very hard, Naruto, you _and_ your brother. There will be no quitting just because it gets hard and there will be no practicing of seals beyond your level. Do you understand me?”

  


Naruto nods quickly with wide eyes. “Hai, kaa-chan! We’ll work hard and we won’t do anything you say we can’t! I promise!”

  


Yoshino gives him a narrow-eyed look. “We’ll see. Now why wasn’t Shikamaru down here with you when you asked?”

  


“He was tired. I think he was out before I even closed his door. He asked me to wake him up in a couple of hours.”

  


Yoshino softens and murmurs, “Well it’s not that surprising. He does have a lot of healing to do.”

  


His wife rocks back on her heels as she thinks for a moment, then, “I think I’ll teach him a little iryojutsu. He’ll certainly need it if he keeps going the way he is.”

  


“We’ll have to start them on chakra control exercises first,” Shikaku says in reply and she looks up at him. “It won’t hurt to get them started on the Clan taijutsu either. And Shikamaru on the Clan ninjutsu when his control improves. We can’t be sure that there aren’t more people like that in the village and there’s still… Well, it won’t hurt for the boys to be better prepared period.”

  


Yoshino nods and looks back down at the blond with a stern expression, “Very true. You and your brother will start as soon as he’s better. Until then neither of you are allowed off the Clan grounds without and adult. Preferably your tou-san or myself.”

  


“Hai, kaa-chan. I’ll tell Shika-nii when I wake him up.”

  


“See that you do. You boys are going to be _very_ busy and I won’t tolerate any slacking.”

  


His son gives his mother a decidedly disturbed look and Shikaku can’t help but chuckle. “Well, you boys are certainly in for it now.”

  


Naruto whimpers.

  


* * *

(Shikamaru’s POV)

  


Shikamaru stares at his blond brother for a moment in confusion after the younger boy finishes his story before he starts to chuckle. “Naru, you silly kid, training is a good thing! If I could have convinced tou-san and kaa-san I would have started training last year. Unfortunately, they thought my body wasn’t developed enough to start training properly even if my mind was. The stretches we do now are just to keep us flexible!”

  


“Well, yeah! But you didn’t see kaa-chan’s face!” Naru flails his arms in panic as he talks in a high-pitched, quick voice. “And the way tou-san laughed was really scary!”

  


“You’re so easily panicked by the silliest things, Naru,” Shikamaru says with a grin. “Look at it this way – soon we’ll be getting stronger and we’ll be able to protect ourselves. Sure our limbs may feel like jelly by the end of training every day but it’ll be worth it. It isn’t anything to be afraid of.”

  


Naru gives him a skeptical look. “You’re really calm about this.”

  


“I don’t see a reason not to be. I’ve been waiting to be ready in our parent's eyes for training since last year. Don’t tell kaa-san or tou-san but I’ve been doing a little of my own training. Nothing big, just some minor stuff that even kids can do. Speed training and the like.”

  


“Oh. They’d be mad if they learned?”

  


“Don’t know, to be honest, they might already know but they haven’t said anything and I don’t want to tempt fate. Did they say when we’re going to start learning fuinjutsu?”

  


“In a few days. They want you to heal more before they get us started. Especially since you’ll probably sleep more for a little while..”

  


Shikamaru sighs, “Yeah, that’s true. Well, at least I won’t wind up blowing myself up because I’m too tired to concentrate.”

  


“Mm, and we’re not going anywhere by ourselves for a long time. I think kaa-chan and tou-chan would go nuts if we left the Clan grounds without them,” Naru says.

  


“Aa. They’re going to overprotective for a while.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, I don't like this chapter. I couldn't make it flow for me after a certain point but I couldn't just cut it off as abruptly as it would have if I had stopped where I looked at stopping it. So...yeah*sighs*.


	11. Bullies (Alternatively, Meeting A New Friend)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shikamaru and Naruto make a friend for life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Our next time skip. 
> 
> Also… It is hot as balls here in the Panhandle of Florida. Humid too. I hope those who need air conditioning have it because it’s only in my room but I can’t stay in here all day and it feels like ‘Death’ in the rest of the house. Blarg….

* * *

(Yoshino’s POV)

 

It’s been nearly a year since the attack, Yoshino thinks to herself. After Shikamaru had healed enough they had started the boys’ training in earnest. And those two had certainly been up to the challenge. Even now, Shikamaru is pushing himself as hard as he can. The boy is already water walking and trains for hours every day. She’ll have to start Shikamaru on some harder chakra control exercises soon since water walking comes easily to him now.

 

She had started him on kenjutsu kata as soon as she had learned he was interested and he took to them like a duck to water(later he told her that he had been a swordsman in his previous life and he wanted to get an early start on his training). Even though he already has a style of his own that he uses he had had no qualms about learning his mother’s techniques. He eventually told her that he thought that they would fit well in his own style since his is a still incomplete style of kenjutsu even after nineteen years of practice and fighting. He has become a quick little devil of a fighter now that he is used to the Clan taijutsu but he becomes an absolute monster with a bokken in his hands when he combines his and his mother’s sword styles with the Clan taijutsu. Though he cannot use the stronger techniques yet because of his height, weight, and lack of appropriate muscle mass. Those will have to wait until he gets older and stronger.

 

Poor Naruto, on the other hand, is still stuck on tree climbing but she thinks that the boy will soon graduate to water walking like his brother did a month ago. The little blond’s chakra reserves are already massive and the Hokage expects them to grow much, much larger before he starts at the Academy in two years with Shikamaru. Naruto has taken well to the Clan taijutsu as well, though not without changes. Naruto will be a heavy hitter(rather than using the quick hit and run tactics that the Nara use when forced to engage in close quarters combat) when he grows up. He always has to be right up in his enemy’s face when he fights and she thinks that’s Shikamaru will one day go gray before he’s forty with how much stress Naruto causes the older boy with his antics.

 

As for their fuinjutsu? Naruto took to it the way Shikamaru took to kenjutsu. That isn’t to say Shikamaru doesn’t do well in it because he certainly does. Naruto, however, will soon leave his brother behind in fuinjutsu in terms of skill. She had asked him once if that bothered him and Shikamaru had given her a strange look before saying, “I’m relearning kenjutsu and he sucks at your kenjutsu style. I’m also learning the Clan Jutsu and Naru can’t learn that because he doesn’t have the genetic predisposition for them. You don’t see him complaining about it, though, do you? So why should I complain about his skill in fuinjutsu? It just means we’ll be able to work well with each other if we’re ever paired together on missions or teams since we’ll know each other's skill sets. Besides, I’m not going to stop learning fuinjutsu just because he’s better at it and it comes instinctively to him. I just have to work harder and smarter if I want to keep up.”

 

Yoshino smiles to herself – she is very proud of her boys. Shikaku, she knows, is proud as well. When he’d started Shikamaru on Inton(Yin Release) six months ago the boy had caught on even quicker then Naruto had when learning fuinjutsu. Shikaku told her that he is sure that by the time the boys are ready to go to the Academy they will be far ahead of their peers. While this isn’t necessarily a good thing, Yoshino doesn’t think it’s a bad thing for them to have a head start on the others. After all, none of the other children have ever been attacked by a pedophile before.

 

(When the incident had been brought up at a mandatory Clan meeting all of the Clan heads had been furious and had immediately instituted rules to better protect the children of their Clans. All small children now have to be accompanied by an adult or an older Academy student outside of their compounds. They have also been or are being taught how to defend themselves against a larger person if they are ever separated from their caretaker. The Uchiha Clan head has the Konoha Military Police Force on high alert for any children found by themselves. The children are then quickly reunited with their parents or babysitters in a bid to prevent what happened to Shikamaru and Naruto from happening to others.

 

After the Clans had heard that Naruto was involved it had been even worse. They speculated that perhaps the attack was a way of attacking the Nara Clan for their adoption of the Jinchūriki. Shikaku had shot that theory down instantly. He was quick to inform them that the attack had **not** been because of Naruto’s status but rather a product of the man’s twisted mind and desires. Yamanaka Inoichi had backed him stating that the man had come through T &I and that Ibiki and Anko had been very thorough in their investigation before calling him in to confirm what had been discovered. The Clans had settled down after that. The other Clans outside of the Akimichi and Yamanaka still disapprove of the adoption but Shikaku had essentially told them to shove it(She loves that man so much).)

 

She watches her boys do their respective routines with a smile on her face for a little while longer before calling them to her.

 

* * *

(Shikamaru’s POV)

 

“I don’t get why you keep insisting on taking us to that gods' forsaken park,” Shikamaru grumbles as he walks beside his mother.

 

His mother snorts, “Oh, really now?”

 

“I get that you want me and Naru to socialize but people won’t let their kids play with Naru and, by extension, me,” he says. He looks up at her with a frown and continues before Naru can say anything, “not that I’d want to have anything to do with anyone shallow enough to treat any person like they treat Naru. It isn’t right and I don’t want any part in it.”

 

(He’s seen enough of that from before when he’d been enhanced. People had often called the enhanced monsters, freaks, aberrations, and abominations because of Shinra and he had been one of the people that they saw as such. He may not have ever been a SOLDIER but his too bright dark eyes gave him away as something less than human in the eyes of bigots. He had been targeted several times along with Zack, Cloud, and Vincent. Those people had never succeeded in their attempts to kill them but it didn’t stop them from trying again. Not until the world had gone to hell, at least.

 

Then they, the very same bigots that had tried to have the four of them put down, were demanding that they protect them and others like them. There was a very clear chain of command in AVALANCHE and since those people were trying to take over, AVALANCHE had shot them down by saying that they would not take in anyone who would disrupt the defenses of whatever encampment they made. Hyo had taken great joy in physically removing them from his small property where AVALANCHE had gathered at the time. Unfortunately, they would be forced to move all too soon.)

 

Naru nods from beside him and says, “Yeah, me too. I’d rather go to the library or practice my tree walking.”

 

Their mother sighs, “I know but you never know when you might meet someone new who will get along with both of you. I’d rather you be bored at the park and meet someone then be at the library or training all the time and never meet a person who might become a good friend.”

 

Shikamaru sighs and stares up at the sky, “Mendokuse… Well, at least there are clouds in the sky today. We can cloud watch for a while, right Naru?”

 

“Right!”

 

Their mother sighs again, fondly exasperated, “You’re your otou-san’s sons.”

 

Shikamaru turns his head and smirks at her, “We’re your kids too, kaa-san. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be as active as we are. Have you _heard_ how much tou-san complains about us being demanding, high-maintenance brats?”

 

Naru starts giggling, “It’s funny to listen to him!”

 

“Silly boys, of course, I’ve heard. You two badger him from the moment he gets home and you don’t let him have a moment's rest until supper time!” She laughs, “I’ve never heard him complain more in the time I’ve known him! He’s certainly getting more exercise than before, though, so that’s a good thing. And I don’t think he’s annoyed at all. He’s really proud of both of you boys. He’s just complaining because he can.”

 

Shikamaru chuckles and turns his face back to the shy(some days he still can’t get over how blue it is or how white the clouds are. When it rains he is still surprised to see and smell how clean it is. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get over how clean his home is or how full of life it is. He hopes he’ll never stop being pleasantly surprised by this life he has now).

 

* * *

 

It doesn’t take them long to reach the playground after their conversation finishes and Shikamaru is content with the comfortable silence(he may be able to talk now but he is more than used to silence and he never takes his ability to speak for granted. Most of the time his words are carefully weighed before he says anything. He is rarely careless with words(he knows the power they hold and how easily they can be used to hurt)). He grabs Naru’s wrist and starts looking for a good place to cloud watch that won’t be invaded by screaming howler monkeys(it’s still so rude, he knows, but he’s used to kids who know how to be quiet when they play or, at least, they never got too loud). Naru, who is perfectly content to be led around by his wrist when he isn’t getting distracted, comments on potential spots for them to settle down at.

 

Then they both hear it, “We don’t want you playing with us! You’ll just slow us down. Hey! You two! You want to play Ninja with us?”

 

Shikamaru and his brother turn as one. Shikamaru rakes his hard gaze over the group of children and snorts in distaste, “No, we don’t. However, you...You’re an Akimichi, aren’t you?”

 

The chubby boy with reddish-brown hair and swirls on his cheeks flush and nods shyly and Shikamaru frowns as he watches him for a moment. Then, “Do you want to cloud watch with my brother and me? Our tou-san is friends and teammates with an Akimichi and he’s pretty cool for the most part so neither of us has any issues hanging out with you. Unlike these immature brats.”

 

Shikamaru’s disdain for the group of children is so clear that the leader of them flushes in anger, “Hey, who do you think you are?! You’re a brat too!”

 

Shikamaru stares at him with an unreadable expression. “Me? Well, I’m not rude like you are so I suppose I’ll introduce myself. I am Nara Shikamaru, the sixteenth heir and future head of the Nara Clan. My tou-san is Nara Shikaku, the head of our Clan and Jōnin Commander of Konoha’s Shinobi Forces. This is my little brother, Naruto.”

 

The other kids start murmuring to themselves at his answer and then the chubby boy speaks up softly. “I’m Akimichi Chōji. I think my tou-san is friends with your tou-san.”

 

“Aa? Akimichi Chōza, the head of the Akimichi Clan?” Shikamaru asks.

 

Chōji nods happily as the whispering increases. “Is it really okay for me to come with you two?”

 

Naru blurts out, “Yeah! Shika-nii and I like to try and predict what shapes the clouds will take and it’d be nice to have a third opinion! ‘Sides, Shika-nii is a really good judge of character and if he thinks you’re okay then you must be pretty cool!”

 

Chōji smiles shyly, “Really? I don’t think that I am… I’m pretty average.”

 

Shikamaru rolls his eyes, “I wouldn’t give you an if I didn’t mean what I said. I’m not some sort of cruel guy who’d do something like that. If I say something you can be sure that I’ve already thought it over before saying it. So…are you coming with us?”

 

“Hai!” Chōji darts over to them with a shy grin. “Thank you, Nara-san.”

 

Shikamaru flinches away and gives him a freaked out look. “It’s Shikamaru, not Nara-san. That’s my tou-san and I’m not nearly old enough to be a Nara-san. Besides, I’m not big on the honorifics thing.”

 

“You can call me Naru,” his brother chirps.

 

“Ah, then please call me Chōji!” The other boy says with a pleased smile. “It’s a pleasure to meet you both!”

 

“Nice to meet you too, Chōji,” Shikamaru says with a nod. “You have anything you want to say to these guys?”

 

Chōji shakes his head. “I’d rather just leave if you don’t mind.”

 

“Fine by me.” Shikamaru turns and starts walking away with his left hand still clutching his brother’s wrist.

 

He begins to lead them towards the outskirts of the playground and Chōji looks around before saying, “Is it okay for us to be all the way out here? I don’t think any of the adults can see us here.”

 

“It’s fine,” Naru says. “Shika-nii and I have an ANBU guard so we can be out here. Kaa-chan and tou-chan are really paranoid but they have a reason to be so I don’t mind.”

 

Chōji’s jaw drops in shock, “Really?! Why?”

 

Shikamaru turns his head to look at the other boy better as he says calmly, “We were attacked last year by a pedophile. I got beat up pretty bad trying to fight the psycho off. Apparently, that guy had been watching me and Naru for a few weeks whenever we were off the Clan grounds and finally decided to make a move when we went to the library. Dumb of him to follow us in really but you can’t really reason with crazy people.”

 

Chōji gapes at him before he whispers, “That was you guys? I’m so sorry!. Tou-san told me that two Clan kids had gotten attacked by a really bad man so all of us kids have to be really careful about who we trust outside of our family.”

 

Naru gives the chubby boy a weak smile but Shikamaru waves away the apology dismissively. “You don’t need to apologize. It’s not like you knew us until now and it isn’t your fault. Besides, I look at it this way – it’s done and over with, nothing more to be done about what happened. All I can do now is get stronger to stop anyone else from trying the same thing and move on from it. If I dwell on it I’ll never be able to do that. Yeah, it still freaks me out that someone was able to get that close to me and Naru but I can’t be running scared for the rest of my life. I’ve got too much to do with my life, too much to live for, and too many people relying on me to run like that. Does that make sense?”

 

Chōji nods contemplatively before he smiles at Shikamaru, “Yeah, it does. You’re really smart Shikamaru.”

 

He shrugs, “Tou-san says I’m a genius but I’ve never been formally tested. Naru’s no slouch himself either. He just turns his intelligence to other things – like pranks...”

 

Naru laughs, “You love it, you know it!”

 

Shikamaru snorts, “Like a fungus, or mold, it grows on you whether you want it to or not.”

 

“Oi! I’m not a fungus!”

 

“Sure act like one sometimes,” Shikamaru shoots back. Chōji giggles at their banter and he smiles to himself as the Akimichi relaxes. Eventually, the other boy gets pulled into their antics and Shikamaru feels like something has just slotted into place.

 

(It feels like he has just found a piece of himself he hadn’t known was missing. What a curious thing.)

 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note #2: So Shikamaru and Naruto have now met Chōji and befriended him.
> 
> So I have a question for my readers. You’ve read this far and there have been some clues both in the summary and the story itself. In fact, the ending is a clue in and of itself! What do you think has happened to bring our little hero to where he is now?


	12. Musing (Alternatively, Thoughts About the Past, Present, And Future)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title says it all.

* * *

(Shikamaru’s POV)

  


It’s been a week since he’s met Chōji and he and Naru both agree that the boy is one of the sweetest and kindest people they’ve ever known. Chōji’s mild temper is a good mix with their own temperaments. Naru is often too boisterous and Shikamaru knows that he can be a seemingly disinterested hard-ass at times.

  


(A life of fighting doesn’t leave much room for softness and when Hyo can be soft it is only towards his family in private, the, unfortunately, pregnant women in their encampment, and children. Everyone else gets the same treatment – just enough interest on his face or a grunt to let them know that, yes, he is paying attention(Tseng had once told him long ago that the strong can never be weak so long as the weak rely upon them. He wishes Tseng hadn’t been right about that because all Hyo had wanted to do with his life was travel so that he might find something to fill the aching void his lack of past had left behind in his mind and heart. His family helped but try as he might to make their love and returned devotion enough it wasn’t. Knowing that it never would be had hurt because he loved them so much. He had wanted to be able to be at least somewhat normal and settle down in a place he could call home like Zack and Cloud did).)

  


Shikamaru sighs and turns his face to the sky from his place on the covered walkway leading to the small garden and Koi pond. It is gray and overcast with thick thunderclouds that threaten to break the still, humid air with their cargo. He hopes that it will rain sometime soon. The humidity is truly awful at the moment. He turns his thoughts back to his new friend.

  


While Naru and Chōji get along very well it already seems like he will be the one who is closer to the Akimichi. Chōji tends to gravitate towards him more than Naru. Not that the blond minds, he’s just happy to have a friend at all. Chōji had quickly assured Naru after the boy had curiously asked why he spent so much time following Shikamaru, that he would find a best friend too one day. Shikamaru smiles a little helplessly at the memory. He muses sadly, ‘A best friend, huh? I’ve had lots of people I consider family but never a real best friend.’

  


(AVALANCHE had been and still is part of his family even if they aren’t around anymore. But just because they aren’t here doesn’t mean that they never existed. Shikamaru will carry their memories and his time as Hyo within himself for the rest of his life. He will never let their memories fade(so much of him is the way it is because of them. He can never dishonor them by forgetting).)

  


Chōji, he thinks, will be a good friend. The mellow boy has already learned that Shikamaru’s mind never seems to stop going, that he is always thinking even when he doesn’t want to, and he accepts it without a word. Most of the time he just tries his best to offer a distraction to Shikamaru whenever his thoughts turn down far off paths. Shikamaru appreciates this more than he can ever express to the other boy. And, for some reason, Chōji has already figured this out, has figured out that he is somewhat awkward with people. He’d told Shikamaru that he didn’t care if he couldn’t always find a way to express himself, that just knowing that Shikamaru wants him there as his friend is enough to tell him everything he needs to know.

  


He thinks back to the boys who had just dismissed kindhearted Chōji because of the Akimichi’s weight and snorts in disgust. They will never understand what they so callously turn away but one man’s trash is another man’s treasure and Shikamaru will never toss away his new friend(he has so few precious people that he has chosen as his own in this life and it feels as if he is standing alone on an empty street after having such a large family who constantly had his back and stood with him).

  


A noise to his left makes him turn his head sharply and he sees his father leaning against the door frame. The man looks at him calmly for a moment before saying, “Deep in thought again, son?”

  


“Mm,” Shikamaru hums agreeably as he turns his eyes back to the Koi pond.

  


“Mind sharing? Might help you work out the helpless tangles you’ve knotted your brain into.”

  


Shikamaru barks a startled laugh and throws his father a lopsided grin, the left side of his mouth turned up further than the right, as he says teasingly, “I’m not quite that bad just yet, old man. Just contemplating the last week.”

  


“Hm, I’d say it was more than that,” the older Nara says and Shikamaru knows that he isn’t trying to push the subject. He’s just testing the grounds to see if they’re stable.

  


“True but days like this… Days like this bring back memories, some good, some bad,” Shikamaru murmurs. Sighing, he continues, “some memories aren’t good or bad, they just are. They exist even if for no other reason than to prove that that life was real, to prove that it was mine. Memories of this life that I live have now are bouncing about as well.”

  


“Some sad ones too, I would imagine,” his father says.

  


“Aa. Some sad memories as well but I won’t give any of them up. Who I was then and who I am now today are because I have these memories, because of the people I had then and the people I have now. I said it once but I’ll say it again – I won’t give up a single memory. That life I had, this life I have now – despite the sadness, despite the fighting,” Shikamaru looks up at the sky with a sad smile. He continues softly, “there was and is good in these lives. Sometimes I wonder...if I could go back...if I could make things right...would I really change anything at all? Would I want to? My world ended but...is that really such a bad thing?

  


“After all, everything ends. Who’s to say that changing anything would have stopped what happened? That anything would have turned out for the better? I certainly can’t say anything like that.”

  


“I can’t either. Only Kami-sama knows, I think,” his father says. “You’re certainly a lot wiser than some people I’ve known. If this had happened to them they would have probably tried to do everything in their power to change it.”

  


“But that’s just the thing...I don’t have that kind of power. I don’t think I want it either. Having the kind of power that would allow you to go back and change whatever you wanted...I think it would corrupt whoever had it,” Shikamaru says as the rain suddenly begins to crash down with a furious roar of thunder as lightning streaks across the sky. “Life is only meant to go in one direction. We can’t go back to being who we once were no matter how hard we try. We can only keep moving forward. So that’s what I’ll do. I want to see the future of this life with these eyes. I want to see where this life will lead me. And I’ll do it with my precious people by my side.

  


“Maybe some of them will be lost along the way. Maybe I won’t make it to see that future with them but even so...I won’t let that stop me. Besides, the ones we love are never truly gone. I believe that one day, I’ll see them again and I’ll have a grand story to tell them when I do.”

  


“Aa, a grand story indeed,” his father murmurs and Shikamaru can hear a hint of sadness under the rust in the man’s voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah… I nearly made myself cry a few times with this chapter but I wanted to go into more of Shikamaru’s(Hyo’s) feelings on his life from before and the life he has now.
> 
> The hints are pretty in your face in this chapter(if they weren’t before).


	13. Ino-chan (Alternatively, When the Hell Did My Life Get So Weird?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shikamaru meets Ino for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry this is out so late, well for me it is. Between helping my sister with her children, getting sick, and then a massive cleaning spree, I just had no energy or inspiration to write. I’m still tired as hell, but my mind won’t me rest. So here I am.
> 
> Note: The Naruto plot has well and truly been thrown to the wind and substituted with my own.
> 
> On another note – Time skips.

* * *

(Shikamaru’s POV)

 

 

The almost eight-years-old Shikamaru winces at the overly loud squeals and shrieks of the children around him. Naru, on the other hand, is looking about himself with wide-eyed glee. They are finally entering entering the Academy and Shikamaru wants nothing more than to crawl into a hole and hide from all the crowding people(he has never liked crowds). His father and mother carefully and skillfully leads them through until they reach Chōza-san and Inoichi-san. There is a blonde-haired little girl beside the tall blond, but Shikamaru ignores her in favor of greeting Chōji.

 

“Yo, Chōji,” he lifts his hand to wave at his friend lazily.

 

“Shikamaru! Are you excited?” Chōji asks with a grin.

 

Shikamaru gives him a flat look. “There are _way_ too many people here for me to want to do anything other than hide in a tree.”

 

Chōji just laughs and says, “You’re so anti-social.”

 

“Mm, yep, that’s me.”

 

“Well, with an attitude like that you’ll never get any friends,” the blonde girl states as if it is an obvious matter-of-fact.

 

Shikamaru frowns at her then flicks his eyes up at Inoichi with a narrow-eyed look. The man laughs nervously as he scratches the back of his head. “Ahaha… Sweetie, Shikamaru-kun is a firm believer in having a few good and loyal friends that he can trust with anything. He isn’t the kind of guy who cares for being popular.”

 

“Besides,” Shikamaru says when Inoichi falls silent. He continues, “I already have Naru and Chōji. Why should I want anyone else when I have them?”

 

His mother just rolls her eyes as she bends down to look at the girl, “Ino-chan, Shikamaru is very mature for his age. He very often acts more like an old man than a child. You’ll just have to get used to his quirks since you might be sharing a class.”

 

The newly named Ino wrinkles her nose. “Why would any kid want to act like an old person?”

 

Shikamaru sighs and says, “Because I do, that’s why. I like the way I am and I don’t see why I should have to change myself to make other people happy. Especially if I already have people who like me just the way I am.”

 

Ino stares at him for a moment before she grins, “I get it! You’re shy! Don’t worry, I’ll be your friend too, even if you are weird!

 

Chōji and Naru both snicker at him(and so as the adults, Shikamaru notes sourly) as Ino reaches over and grabs his hand. She smiles at the other boys as well. “We’ll all be friends, okay? No matter what happens!”

 

(Shikamaru is both a little freaked out and touched by the little girl’s touchy feely nature and seemingly accepting attitude. At the same time, he is also saddened. He closes his eyes and remembers Zack, bright and happy(if a little dark from what had happened to him in the labs) like this girl is and... _‘We’re friends, right?’_.)

 

He opens his eyes and looks her straight in the eyes, “Yeah, okay. Just don’t expect me to do anything weird or girly. My hair may be long, but that doesn’t mean I want it any different than it is now.”

 

Indeed, his hair is long. His hair is already to his shoulder blades while still being in a ponytail. Ino pouts as she eyes it. “But it’s so long and pretty! How on earth did you get it that long?!”

 

Shikamaru turns his head to give his parents a hard look. “I didn’t let _them_ near my hair with any sort of sharp implement.”

 

His parents sigh in unison(he knows that they are remembering how difficult it was just to convince him to let his mother trim the split ends off of his hair because they had once mentioned cutting it. Shikamaru had glared death at them that day and had locked himself in his room until they had promised not to cut his hair). Inoichi and Chōza laugh at his parents teasingly.

 

“That’s one stubborn boy you two have,” Inoichi says. He continues, “how are you coping with such a troublesome kid?”

 

Shikamaru’s father grumbles, “Mendokuse...”

 

The left corner of Shikamaru’s mouth turns up slightly at his and his father’s catchphrase. It’s not something too obvious, but Ino suddenly starts beaming at him and he gives her a slightly confused look.

 

“You should smile more,” she states. Then, “you’re actually pretty cute when you smile!”

 

Shikamaru goes wide-eyed and angles away from her in a skittish cat-like way as a dusty rose color starts to crawl across his nose and cheeks( _ **She**_ had teased him like that, always doing whatever it took to draw him out of his shell). Behind him, his brother and best friend collapse together in a fit of giggles and the adults are laughing uproariously(Inoichi is oddly subdued, however, and Shikamaru briefly wonders why). As it is, Shikamaru is more than a little freaked out now and Ino is _still_ smiling at him, but now there is a teasing edge to it, as if she has just now noticed how he has been affected by her comment.

 

“Aw!” She coos at him and Shikamaru angles away a little more, this time leaning away as well as he continues to stare at the blonde. She nods, mostly to herself, before saying, “Yep, definitely cute. You have this serious and mature, but shy thing going on that a lot of girls are going to fall for if you’re not careful!”

 

Shikamaru looks away from her with a deeply uncomfortable look on his face. “Can we stop talking about this? I’m not interested in anything like that.”

 

Ino rolls her eyes. “Oh, right. I forgot boys think girls have cooties.”

 

Shikamaru turns his head sharply and tilts it as he looks at her. “What…? I…have no idea what you just said.”

 

Naru laughs and says, “Shika-nii doesn’t really care about playground talk, Ino-chan. By the way, I’m Naruto. I guess you already know Chōji?”

 

“Hi Naruto! And yeah, I know Chōji. We see each other at our birthday parties and Clan gatherings. But I’ve never seen the two of you there before?”

 

Their parents sigh again and the older Nara male says, “Shikamaru isn’t comfortable in crowds and Naru follows him everywhere, so they never go anywhere with a lot of people unless they have to. Like right now.”

 

“Oooh, okay. But seriously, you don’t think girls have cooties?” Ino gives him a piercing look.

 

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about,” Shikamaru grouses. He continues with a scowl, “I’m just not comfortable with people saying things like that to me. It’s just that, that sort of stuff always makes me want to crawl into a hole and hide, okay.”

 

( _ **She**_ may have liked to tease, but _**she**_ never took it too far, always knowing when to stop. None of the others had ever teased him that way because they knew he disliked it and that it made him severely stressed. He knows that it is meant as a compliment, but he’s never been comfortable with people complimenting his looks(he remembers skin covered with scars(hidden away under clothes and gloves and the flat looks that made people look away) and pain and never wanting to be touched because more often than not being touched set something dangerous off in his brain).)

 

Ino tilts her head to look at him and she must see the truth of what he says because she finally nods, saying, “Okay, I won’t do it anymore, but there are girls out there who won’t care if you’re comfortable or not with them.”

 

* * *

(Ino’s POV – two weeks later)

 

 

Shikamaru may not be the most handsome boy in class, not in the classical sense at least, but he has a very mature and mysterious way about him that appeals to girls and they like to watch him like they do the most popular boy in class, Uchiha Sasuke. He has these narrow dark brown eyes that are often half-lidded, making him look sleepy or bored, but sometimes his eyes will slip open, looking more black than brown,and a thin eyebrow will reach for his jagged hairline. It is moments like these that she(and other girls) looks for because in those moments she can tell that he is serious and focused and sometimes a little pissed(or maybe a lot). His face still has its baby fat, but Ino can definitely say that, when his face thins out, he will have very nice features. Those high cheek bones will give him a rather aristocratic appearance one day.

 

His long, silky black hair is a big factor too. Most boys don’t have hair that long and certainly not that well taken care of. Shikamaru, however, doesn’t seem to care about his hair except for when anyone who tries to touch his ponytail. When that happens, he ducks away and turns to glare at the offender. A good portion of those who try are other boys trying to make fun of him. The person in question will always back off with a pale face. Ino likes to imagine that she hears him growling during these moments.

 

Another thing that appeals to the girls in her class is his attitude. He’s helpful and polite, if a bit distant, and somewhat laid back. He never says anything nasty to anyone. Unless they target Naruto, Chōji or bullies anyone where he can see it, that is. Then he turns into something darker, something dangerous. His normally bored and sleepy look will change at the drop of a coin. His eyes will become dark, glinting sharply, his thin brows will draw down and knit together in a scowl, his mouth will flatten into a thin, clearly displeased, line, and his voice will lower until it almost rumbles in the air.

 

Most importantly, though, is the fact that most boys think girls have cooties and like to pull hair and make fun of them. Shikamaru, on the other hand, just gives girls looks that say ‘I am very confused by you and I don’t know how to deal with your weirdness’ when confronted by them. He ignores their antics for the most part. And… That might actually be why a good portion of the girls in her class giggle and bat their eyelashes at him. The worst part is that he doesn’t even realize what he’s doing or that he would have over half the girls in class eating out of the palm of his hand if he so much as looked at them with interest.

 

Nara Shikamaru is a decidedly odd boy, Ino thinks.

 

* * *

(Shikamaru’s POV)

 

He doesn’t know why he ever expressed an interest in coming to the Academy. Oh, wait… That’s right… He wants to be a Shinobi and the only way to do that is if he attends the Academy. Shikamaru sighs as he stares out the window and up at the sky. He’s already fended off two nasty verbal attacks on Choji and six for poor Naru. Ino often helps him and, for the most part, people have started to leave them alone. He doesn’t know why people give Naru such a hard time, but he’s determined to find out. He’s also going to get severely pissed and snap one of these days if the instructor doesn’t start acting more professionally.

 

As the teacher starts to yell at Naru for no reason he thinks that today might be that day. Shikamaru leans back in his seat and says in a soft and dangerous tone that is only just loud enough to be heard, “I’d stop yelling at him if I were you.”

 

The man turns his head to glare at him, but Shikamaru continues before he can open his mouth. His voice is still dangerously soft. “After all, Naruto and I _are_ the sons of the Nara Clan head who just so happens to be the Jōnin Commander and he _does_ have the ear of the Hokage. I wonder what would happen if I told him that you are deliberately sabotaging our education. You see, our tou-san listens to our concerns and he never turns us away if we tell him we have a problem. So I highly doubt he’d dismiss my claims of sabotage as childish revenge against a teacher because they wouldn’t be false claims.”

 

Shikamaru looks at the teacher through lowered lashes, as if bored with the whole ordeal already, but his eyes are sharp with intent. He senses Ino’s shift forward as she watches on with interest and he can tell that the rest of the class is watching as well. They are curious to see what will happen next. He allows a tiny, yet smug, smirk to appear on his lips and says in a calm tone, “You _are_ actively sabotaging this class by constantly interrupting your own lecture to yell at my brother for no reason. You quote the textbook out of context. You deliberately ask questions that only the smartest people in this class would know only by studying. Worse yet, you keep giving Naruto homework and tests that aren’t part of this class’ curriculum.

 

“So, please, enlighten me as to why I shouldn’t go straight to my tou-san’s office _right now_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Notes # 2: Things are going to pick up a bit after this and there will be a few more time skips until they reach graduation day.
> 
> Also, I'd appreciate it if you guys and girls would tell me whether or not you'd like to see Mizuki go early or stay and get his rear kicked by Naruto after Graduation Day.


	14. Expanding Family (Alternatively, Most Adults Are Idiots)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shikamaru thinks the Council needs their collective heads examined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are changing even more from the original timeline.

(Shikamaru’s POV)

  


Shikamaru has never once thought of the Hokage as being an unintelligent man, but today he is left cursing him. Who the actual fuck lets an eight-year-old boy live in the same compound his whole family died in?! And by himself no less! He tilts his head back to stare at the sunset sky with a scowl. Then, “Naru and I will walk you to your place to get some clothes and anything you want to take with you.”

  


“What?” The Uchiha boy stares at him as if he’s crazy.

  


“No child should be living on his or her own, regardless of any political bullshit. The fact that the Hokage allowed you to live on your own and in _that_ place is a clear failing on his part,” Shikamaru states. His voice rises a bit shrilly before he can control his temper, “what kind of person just lets a traumatized child go back to a place of trauma without a shit tonne of therapy?! Has the place even been properly cleaned?!”

  


Sasuke flinches and Shikamaru goes very still and then he closes his eyes and counts backwards from thirty. Finally, he states, “I’m guessing that’s a no.”

  


Naru is pressed to his back and trembling. “That’s horrible! Why would they make you go back there?!”

  


“Politics,” Sasuke whispers. The boy sighs, “just like Nara-san said earlier.”

  


“That’s stupid!”

  


“It is,” Shikamaru says. “I’m not part of the political scene so no one can tell me that I can’t do this for you.”

  


“Do what?”.

  


“Give you a place to stay until you can properly take care of yourself. And I do mean properly. As in, cooking balanced meals, how to get the best deals for whatever you’re buying, and differentiating high-quality goods from low-quality,” he says. Shikamaru presses on, “and other things you need to know to take care of yourself. Like taxes. Clans pay taxes just like regular people do.

  


“Do you know how to pay them? Or is someone else collecting them from your inheritance? Who’s managing said inheritance and are they supposed to be your guardian until you graduate from the Academy? If so, are they managing it properly or are they pocketing money on the side? More importantly, where the hell is this person and why haven’t they approached you?!”

  


Sasuke blinks, “Oh… No, no one has talked to me about any of that. The Hokage said he’d take care of everything and that I wouldn’t have to worry about living expenses until I graduated.”

  


“Orphan stipend,” Shikamaru grunts. “Tomorrow we’ll go to the Hokage and I’ll get answers for you. For now, however, you’re coming home with us.”

* * *

  


Shikamaru can tell that his father isn’t very pleased with him the moment he steps through the door, but...then again, Shikamaru isn’t very pleased with adults in general at the moment. He jerks his gaze sharply to his left and sees the moment when the proverbial light clicks on. The older Nara winces as a rather dark and tight smirk crosses Shikamaru’s face. He knows that his father knows how pissed he is at this moment in time. He drawls out slowly, “So, I picked up a duckling today… I wonder where his caretaker is.”

  


Shikamaru watches as his mother peeks out of the kitchen and her eyes go wide when she sees the new boy standing behind him. Sasuke is as close to him as he can be without being right up against him and clutching the fabric of his shirt at his shoulder. The slightly older boy has been attached to him ever since they had entered the Uchiha Compound. To be honest, Shikamaru can’t blame him. He might not be a Cetra, but he’d had plenty of practice when it came to the feel of a place and the Uchiha Compound is the darkest and most malignant place he’d ever set foot in.

  


Even though there were no longer any people in the compound it had felt as if the whole place was covered in a miasma of Sakki. The very air had felt like it was choking him and the fine hairs on the back of his necks had risen. Every single instinct had been screaming for him to get out of that place. He’d been audibly rumbling deep in his chest the entire time as if warning away another predator. Naru hadn’t been much better and had been on high alert until they had left the haunted place behind.

  


When Shikamaru asked Sasuke if the Uchiha Compound had always felt like that the boy had shaken his head and said, “No. I only noticed it after I came home from the hospital.”

  


Shikamaru had nearly blown a fuse then and there. As it is, he’s managed to contain his temper until now. “Naru, Sasuke, why don’t you two go with kaa-san and get something to eat? I have to speak with the old man.”

  


Old man not tou-san. The distinction is very clear to Naru, his mother, and to his father. His mother bites her lip, but waves the two boys into the kitchen. Shikamaru tilts his head to the stairs before heading for them. His father follows close behind. The moment they step into his room and Shikamaru activates the privacy seal, his rarely provoked temper explodes. He rounds on his father with harsh and feral eyes.

  


“What the fuck was the Council _**thinking**_?! Do you have any fucking _**idea**_ what kind of _**hellhole that compound is**_?! Why in the _**hell**_ was poor Sasuke _**sent back to that pit?! It’s a fucking death trap!!!**_ ” Shikamaru’s voice rises until he is roaring in fury. “ _ **It would have been a guaranteed death sentence if I hadn’**_ _ **t**_ _ **gotten him out of there when I did! Sasuke would have probably committed suicide in**_ _ **six months**_ _ **if I hadn’t told him that he**_ _ **was not staying there**_ _ **!**_ ”

  


He is panting through his nose harshly as he glares murderously at nothing. His teeth are tightly clenched and his lips are skinned back to bare them. Muscles are ticking at the hinges of his jaw and he is growling lowly with each exhaled breath. He’s so angry he could destroy something right now. That’s why he clenches his fist to resist the urge to reach out and throw whatever he can get his hands on. All he can do now is wait for answers.

  


* * *

(Shikaku’s POV)

  


He winces the instant the first expletive leaves his son’s mouth. His first instinct is to tell him to watch his language, but the overwhelming anger rolling off his son in waves stops him. So does the strange growling gravel in his voice. He’s never seen his boy so angry before. In fact, the boy is thoroughly enraged. An eight-year-old isn’t supposed to be able to put out that much Sakki. ‘Then again,’ he thinks, ‘boy isn’t exactly normal.’

  


He forgets sometimes that his boy is more than what he seems. That he is someone who had been born into this life with a complete set of memories from his last. Normally Shikaku can see his boy instead of the man he was. At the moment, all he can see is the echo of a man who isn’t a man anymore. It’s distressing to witness because it means that Shikamaru has been pushed to his limits and has called on the strength and experience of his past to see him through this situation.

  


“I voted against it,” Shikaku says. Calmly, so as to not further aggravate the boy, he continues, “so did Chōza and Inoichi. Unfortunately, the Civilian Council and the Elders were involved and we were overruled. Hokage-sama cannot overturn a majority vote like that.”

  


“Bullshit,” his son snarls.

  


“It is, but there is nothing I can do about it now,” Shikaku says. He cants his head and he begins to smirk slyly as an idea occurs to him, “however, I can’t really say no to you having a friend here for an extended sleepover.”

  


His boy eyes him with suspicion for a moment before nodding slowly. Shikamaru’s voice is still strangely gravelly as he says, “That’s true and I _do_ have a reputation for befriending lonely people so it shouldn’t cause any legal issues since we can’t adopt the poor kid.”

  


Shikaku sighs, “We can’t. Unlike Naruto, Sasuke had a Clan and is now the only available successor to said Clan.”

  


His son runs a hand over his bound hair and rakes it through his ponytail. He sighs roughly and starts to pace, “That doesn’t give them the right to send him to that not-so-fun house of horrors. There’s something seriously wrong with that place. It’s like there’s a miasma of malicious intent over the compound. Sasuke told me that he’d never encountered anything like it before the Massacre but now… Now you can’t even walk through the front gate without feeling like there’s a hand around your throat.

  


“It’s a bad place, tou-san. A place that Sasuke shouldn’t step into ever again until a priest can get in there to preform a purification ritual.”

  


“Didn’t think you were a superstitious person.”

  


The boy gives him a hard look and says in a low, angry voice, “I saw way too much back then to say that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, there aren’t such things as ghosts and spirits. And there’s also the fact that my instincts were screaming at me to get the fuck out of there just as soon as I walk in. Naru felt the same way. So explain to me how I’m being superstitious.”

  


Shikaku rocks back on his heels as he thinks over the information Shikamaru has given him. “I’ll talk to the Hokage about letting Sasuke rent a place on our lands. That way no one can say we’re trying to tie him to us by charity or generosity. If Sasuke is over here a lot or you and Naru are at his place then no one can really complain about it since you’ve taken him under your wing rather than me doing it.”

  


Shikamaru nods and rolls his head back to crack his neck. Shikaku winces at the noise and the boy smirks at him. This time, however, his smirk is a sad and tired thing. “Sorry for yelling like that, but I’d been holding that back for a long as I could without smashing something. I’m still not happy with the decision the Council made, but I guess I’ll leave the Hokage to you. Let him know what Naru, Sasuke, and I experienced. Also, I have a list of questions that Sasuke needs answers to and do tell him that I won’t take ‘The adults are handling it’ excuse for an answer.

  


“Sasuke doesn’t need to be coddled, but he does need guidance. If he doesn’t learn the things he needs to know then someone could take advantage of him and leave him destitute. I won’t allow that to happen. I won’t allow him to be alone either. No one deserves to be abandoned,” Shikamaru says, his eyes distant now.

  


Shikaku wonders if his boy is remembering how his adopted family had never abandoned him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now you get to see just how things are changing and how just by Shikamaru being Hyo has impacted things.
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	15. Aniki (Alternatively, I Gain Another Brother)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke makes a decision and the future Rookie Nine assembles.

(Shikamaru’s POV)

  


Shikamaru is startled the first time Sasuke calls him by the honorific. It’s been six months since he’s brought the Uchiha boy home and the boy’s healing is no where near done. He stares as Sasuke fidgets uncomfortably, “Sasuke, are you sure you meant to call me that?”

  


Sasuke averts his eyes to the floor and nods. He says in a soft voice, “You’ve been a better brother to me than _**he**_ ever was. You explain things to me and you always make time for me even though you shouldn’t always do so-”

  


“And why shouldn’t I?” Shikamaru asks.

  


“You’re the heir to your Clan, you have to learn about your duties to it. Then there are the facts that you are still in the Academy and that you take care of Naruto even though your parents are around to help. You have your independent training and your Clan training too. You’re juggling a lot and I just add to that,” Sasuke says with a frown.

  


“So? I don’t care about how much I have to do. Sasuke, I don’t need to have time to make time for you or Naru. If something comes up with either one of you then I will drop whatever it is I’m doing and help you as best I can because that’s what family does. Anyway, you do realize that I’m younger than you, right?”

  


Sasuke grins as a giggle bubbles in his throat. “Yeah, but somehow you seem a lot older than me. Sometimes it feels like you’re even older than _**him**_.”

  


Shikamaru tilts his head and watches the other boy for a moment. “You’re going to have to start calling him by his name at some point in time, Sasuke. The longer you avoid it the harder it will be for you to move on from what he did.”

  


Sasuke nods sullenly, “I know, but I’m still angry and it still hurts. _**He**_ was my Aniki-”

  


“He still is,” Shikamaru interrupts gently. “He always will be despite what he did. He hasn’t stopped being your brother and that’s why it still hurts. But, Sasuke, you can’t let yourself be ruled by that anger and hurt. It’s toxic and it _will_ destroy you is you let it take over. Have you ever heard the phrase ‘Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves’?”

  


Sasuke shakes his head and asks, “What does that mean?”

  


Shikamaru smiles sadly at him. “It means that, in the end, the person seeking revenge will be just as bad as the person they sought to avenge themselves upon. Sometimes it even leads to the death of the person seeking revenge because they’ve become something to be pitied and have to be put down like a rabid dog. Revenge doesn’t benefit anyone, Sasuke. It just causes more pain. If you have to have some sort of revenge on him then let it be this – live your life the way you want to, not the way he dictated. Live a good life, be happy, and don’t let your past color your future.”

  


“What if he comes after me? Or you guys?!”

  


“Then we’ll just have to be strong enough to stop him, now won’t we? And if he does come for you or for us then we can capture him and bring him to justice. But I want you to promise me that you won’t live your life for revenge. Naru, kaa-san, tou-san, and I – we’ll all be hurt if you disappear from our lives. Your Clan may be gone, but we’re your family now, even if it can’t be made official. And we’re still here, Sasuke. We’re _still here._ ”

  


* * *

  


The second time Sasuke calls him by that honorific, it is a month later and said in front of Naru. The adopted blond launches himself at Sasuke. He picks the taller boy up and starts to spin around while laughing like a madman. “I knew you’d come around! Shika-nii is the best onii-san ever!”

  


Sasuke beats his hands on Naru’s shoulders ineffectively, but there is a tiny smile on the Uchiha’s face as he argues with the blond to put him down. Shikamaru leans back against the trunk of the tree behind him with a content smile. He looks up through the branches of the tree to see patches of blue, blue sky contrasted so vividly against the emerald green of leaves and remembers.

  


(Mirth, happiness, affection, love, gentle knowing, amusement, fond exasperation, friendship. Family.)

  


Shikamaru’s smile saddens a little as he listens to Sasuke and Naru argue and laugh(they are so much like Cloud and Zack that it is sometimes painful to watch). ‘Are you guys watching this, watching me? Can you see the life I’ve made for myself now? I still miss all of you, but...it’s better now. I’m happier now than I ever thought I could be. I just wish you were all here to share this with me.’

  


(He will always miss them until the day he’ll be able to see them in the Lifestream.)

  


* * *

  


After that, Sasuke begins to call him Aniki far more often. Though he never says it in front of people who will throw a fit over the ‘Last Uchiha’ claiming a Nara as kin. As it is, the boy already considers the Nara Clan as part of his family. Sasuke is happier, Shikamaru notes, happier and more at peace now than he’d ever been after the death of his Clan. The only person Sasuke doesn’t seem to consider family is Naru and Shikamaru smirks to himself as he remembers how they fight like an old married couple(he’ll be very surprised if those two don’t wind up together).

  


Shikamaru shakes his head in exasperated amusement as he watches the two fuss over what food is better – tomatoes or ramen. Ino is rolling her eyes and Chōji interrupts to call them heathens because, while all food is good, BBQ is the best. Shikamaru snickers from where he is sprawled out under a tree on the Academy grounds. The roots comfortably cradle him so that he is propped up just enough to watch his strange little group. Ino turns her head to give him a look that says ‘Why aren’t you over here suffering with me?’”

  


Shikamaru gives her a two finger salute and leans back against the tree further to settle down for a nap. He isn’t anywhere as lazy as his father, but some days his own mind tires him to the point of exhaustion. He yawns and lets his eyes slide shut to the comforting sound of his – new – chosen family bickering playfully.

  


* * *

  


When Ino suddenly drags a pink haired little girl into their group without warning, Shikamaru raises an eyebrow inquiringly. When she responds, it is to tell him that Haruno Sakura was being bullied when she found the other girl. Naru’s temper instantly flares up and Sasuke narrows his eyes and even Chōji looks angry. Shikamaru looks at the girl more closely and then back at Ino. “Did you deal with them already?”

  


“Sure did. Is it okay if Sakura hangs out with us?”

  


He shrugs. “I don’t have a problem with her staying. Guys?”

  


The others respond positively as well. None of them like bullies and Sakura doesn’t deserve to be bullied any more than Naru or Chōji do. The pink haired child smiles shyly at them as she sits down and quietly thanks them for letting her stay with Ino. Shikamaru wonders how it is possible for him to have surrounded himself with mostly broken children. Ino being the only exception. Said girl turns her head to look at him and smiles sadly as if hearing his thoughts. Her look tells him that she is thinking the same thing(because Shikamaru is just as broken as the rest. Perhaps even more so).

  


* * *

  


The next person to become part of their group of misfits is Hyūga Hinata. Naru is the one to bring her with him and her story is the same as Sakura’s. A little girl being bullied by people who don’t understand nor even care to understand the child. The girl is so painfully shy that Shikamaru winces in sympathy because he remembers being that awkward around people once upon a time. As it is, he decides to gently coach her to stop stuttering. He knows it will be a job that may take years, but he thinks he is up to the challenge.

  


He’s also amused by the obvious crush Hinata has on oblivious Naru, but only a little bit. Mostly, he’s sad for her because it is plain as day to him that Naru and Sasuke are going to look at each other one day and realize that they’ve both been stupid for a very long time. He just hopes that little Hinata figures this out before she gets hurt.

  


* * *

  


Aburame Shino joins them three weeks later without the interference of anyone. He simply asked if he could sit with them and Shikamaru had promptly said yes. Now, however, Shikamaru can’t help but laugh hysterically inside his own head. Shino is as sarcastic and mouthy as Sasuke is, but in a more polite and lengthy way. The insect user is also quiet and easy to get along with so long as he isn’t offended by something. As luck would have it, Shikamaru is a largely inoffensive person. Which he cannot say for Ino and Sakura. He will never understand the need to scream at the top of his lungs at the sight of a beetle.

  


Now spiders – the really big kind – on the other hand, will send him scurrying for a broom or a can of bug spray(the end of the world, as Hyo knew it, had not been kind and he’d had a very valid hatred for arachnids by that time. He can’t be blamed for keeping that in this life).

  


* * *

  


Inuzuka Kiba somehow falls into the group and, strangely enough, it feels as if he’s always belonged and that they have just been waiting for him. He just fits. Naru and Kiba like to play pranks and wrestle and tell crude jokes about and to each other from the get-go. Shino and Kiba get along surprising well and the Inuzuka likes to bring insects to the Aburame to ask about. He helps tease Hinata out of her shell and likes to piss off both Ino and Sakura(they’ve learned that Sakura has a startlingly strong right hook because of the Inuzuka and Shikamaru suggests that she look up Senju Tsunade of the Sannin).

  


Sasuke and Kiba don’t always get along. Both of the boys are extremely competitive and Shikamaru thinks that Sasuke may be a bit jealous because Naru isn’t just wrestling and playing with him anymore. As it is, Shikamaru and Kiba just tolerate each other. Shikamaru isn’t sure if this is because of Kiba’s loud and brash nature or if it is because the Inuzuka is very dog-like(Shikamaru relates to cats, larger ones especially, more than any other animal). Regardless of the reason, Shikamaru hopes they can get along for the sake of the group. He’d hate to have to fight with the Inuzuka and run the kid off when so many of the others are already attached.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Notes: The changes keep coming and the future Rookie Nine are now together as a group There’s always going to one person in a group that manages to chafe someone else the wrong way. For Shikamaru that person in Kiba.
> 
> I hope I managed to portray them as themselves while still changing things.


	16. Danzo (Alternatively, Danzo Fucks Up)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danzo gets schooled by kids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you don’t know, in my home state of Florida, in the city of Orlando, 49 people were killed and 53 more injured in an LGBTQ club on June 12, 2016. This was a hate crime and I am extremely sad right now because those people didn’t deserve this. No one deserves to be killed or injured for being who they are. 
> 
> Hate is an evil, vile thing and it has caused so many deaths and injuries. If you agree with me please post this as part of an Author’s Note, in your Profile, or wherever it is that you go to rant online. For any of my readers who may be part of the LGBTQ or Muslim community, don’t ever be ashamed of who you are. Don’t let other peoples’ hatred drag you down. You’re worth so much more than their hate.
> 
> For the LGBTQ and Muslim communities who have to bear yet another hate crime:  
> Http : // silvershadowfoxuniverse . Tumblr . Com / post / 145878500296 / staff-over-the-weekend-orlando-saw-a-terrible
> 
> You’re not alone in this struggle against hate. Don’t be afraid to reach out. If you have something to say then tell me. I’ll listen because, as unfortunate as it is, that’s all I can do. But sometimes that’s enough, isn’t it? To know that someone cares enough to want to listen.

(Naruto’s POV)

  


Nine-year-old Naruto is staring up into the eye of a mummy and he doesn’t like what he sees as he pushes Sasuke back behind himself. He remembers what happened the last time someone looked at him like that and it hadn’t ended well. He doesn’t shiver as he glares up at the mummy man and opens his mouth to scream at the top of his lungs.

  


“CHILD MOLESTER!”

  


The man jerks back in shock, his one dark eye widening, and Naruto sees a dark streak pelting across the Academy grounds towards them. And then, his brother is there, stooping low and driving his right shoulder into the back of the mummy’s knees. Naruto has already grabbed Sasuke and has started running for the teacher he sees coming towards them as he hears his brother’s roar of rage.

  


“YOU WON’T TOUCH THEM YOU PERVERTED SON OF A BITCH!”

  


He doesn’t wince in sympathy for the man as a faint crack sounds out from behind him. He should have never approached the two of them and certainly not the way he had either. The frigging creep. The teacher catches Naruto by his shoulders, demanding, “What happened?!”

  


Naruto gladly points behind him and cries out, “There’s a bad guy on the grounds! He approached me and Sasuke saying weird things. I got scared because he reminded me of the bad guy who attacked me and my brother when we were littler!”

  


The teacher – he isn’t one he’s seen often and Naruto briefly wonders if the scarred man is new to the jobs – nods. “Alright boys, go find the rest of your friends and go inside. I’ll deal with things here and then I’ll come find you.”

  


“Hai, sensei!” Naruto and Sasuke chorus together.

  


* * *

(Shikamaru’s POV)

  


When he’d heard Naru’s cry his mind hand gone blank. All Shikamaru could think of was getting his brothers away from whoever had made Naru cry out like that. He’d wanted to hurt the person responsible. He hadn’t even realized how much strength he’d put into his stomp until he’d felt the crunch of the man’s ankle under his foot. ‘Well,’ he thinks to himself as the Hokage himself steps in to stop the bandaged man from hitting him, ‘I’ve certainly done so.’ The Hokage’s face is calm, but Shikamaru knows a lot about pretending to be something he’s not. The Sarutobi must be furious.

  


“You have gone too far Danzo! Not only by approaching those boys but by attempting to hurt the heir of the Nara Clan! I expressly forbid you from having any contact with those boys and you have disobeyed me for the last time!”

  


From underneath the Hokage’s fingers a seal blooms starkly across the other man’s wrist. Shikamaru recognizes it as a chakra suppression seal meant for prisoners. He finds himself rumbling softly in approval of the Hokage’s actions. Shikamaru’s eyes narrow to thin slits and he focuses them on Danzo’s. The man’s breath hitches and his eyes widen as their eyes meet.

  


(If the Hokage had bothered to look or if Shikamaru would have looked into a window, they would have noticed the ring of glowing acid green around his pupils.)

  


* * *

(Naruto’s POV)

  


When the scarred Chūnin had told them to find their friends, Naruto and Sasuke had done exactly that. Now Naruto and Sasuke are quietly filling them in on what had just happened to them. The entire group is disturbed and they all agree that they should tell their parents, but Hinata stutters as she asks what the word child molester means. Naruto shudders as he says to Hinata, “A child molester is an adult who touches little kids, like us, where they pee without having a very good reason for doing so! Like doctors do if you’ve been hurt or something. It’s really bad!”

  


Her eyes go wide. “Y-y-you m-mean l-l-like t-the p-p-people o-otou-sama t-told m-me t-to s-s-stay a-away f-from?”

  


“Yep,” Naruto confirms. “Just like them.”

  


“W-w-we h-have t-to t-tell Neji-nii-san! He doesn’t know!” Her stutter is completely gone by the end of her sentences.

  


Naruto and Sasuke quickly agree. The rest of the kids here deserve to know that a bad man is on the grounds.

  


* * *

  


When the group of friends finds the boy Hinata is looking for, they watch as she lunges forward and grabs his hand before he can pull away. She cries out with tears in her eyes, “Neji-nii-san, there’s a bad man on the grounds that like to touch little kids where they pee! He came after Naru and Sasuke! I don’t want you to stay out here because he might come after you too!”

  


Neji, as he’d been called, goes very still and he focuses all his attention on his and Sasuke’s friend. “Hinata-sama, are you telling me that a child molester is on Academy grounds _right now_?”

  


She nods as tears start to fall and she sobs out “Shikamaru-kun stayed behind to stop him from going after them!”

  


Neji frowns and looks at them, “This is true?”

  


Naruto nods emphatically, “Shika-nii came outta nowhere and caught him from behind. We didn’t stick around to watch ‘cause I know he’d of told us to run and get help. I just hope he’s okay!”

  


Sasuke wraps an arm around his shoulders and pulls him close, “Aniki is fine, Naru. You’ll see. Anyway, we should head inside. I think they’ll want to interview Naruto and me, but we’ll feel better if we can get more kids inside and away from that freak. I really hope ANBU has him right now!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry for the short chapter, but I think I can be forgiven with what’s happened.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed it and how I will have essentially taken Danzo out of the picture after this. His whole kidnapping and brainwashing kids to be loyal to him has always freaked me out.
> 
> By the way, it is hot as hell still. Blegh...


	17. Aftermath (Alternatively, Life After Danzo’s Idiocy)

(Hiruzen’s POV)

 

He would have never suspected Danzo to go as far as he had. For him to not only approach those boys, but to also attempt to attack the Nara heir as well. Hiruzen sighs sadly. They had been friends once. Now, he is the Hokage and Danzo is considered to be the worst of the worst. So many children had gone home to tell their parents what had happened at the Academy yesterday and he’d had said parents baying for Danzo’s blood ever since. What’s worse is the fact that Danzo’s private army still exists and that one of them had tried to free him.

 

Worse still, Inoichi had been caught in the attack since he’d been breaking through the Danzo’s mental defenses to find what else he had been hiding at the time. The man will make a full recovery, but it is clear now that Danzo must be executed before this can go any further. The fact that Danzo would approach Naruto and Sasuke despite his orders against even so much as talking to either of them tells him that Danzo thought he could get away with his actions without repercussions. However, he had forgotten one important detail. Hiruzen is very close to the Nara family for reasons Danzo will never understand.

 

If only the man would have listened to him… He would have been allowed to live if he had only listened…

 

* * *

 

(Neji’s POV)

 

After the events of yesterday, the Head of the Hyūga Clan had been – and still is – furious. Neji doesn’t know what happened after the man had left the compound, but the amount of adults of both Main and Branch houses walking the halls tells its own story. Hiashi-sama does not want anyone getting into the compound. To be very honest, he’s only seen the Clan Head this furious once before when he’d been six. Hinata-sama, on the other hand, has been clinging to him ever since. The girl had not allowed him or Hanabi-sama out of her sight – going as far as to firmly order someone to bring some of his and the toddler’s things to her room so that she could better watch over them.

 

Neji would have been amused by her actions if not for the fact that he’d seen Nara Shikamaru for the first time yesterday. The dark-eyed male had stalked into the classroom where they were and the moment his narrowed eyes had fallen on to the Uzumaki boy and the Uchiha he had relaxed. It was as if he had still been worried about them even though he had been the one to be left behind. The other two boys had moved quickly and had crashed into the Nara heir without any hesitation. Nara Shikamaru had wrapped them in his arms with such an expression of relief and had let out a great sigh as he’d pulled them as close as he could.

 

“Are you guys okay?” He’d asked, his voice soft and worried.

 

“We’re fine,” the Uchiha had responded. He had leaned back and looked the Nara over, “but what about you?”

 

The Nara had given him a small, tired, but triumphant smile. “Hiruzen stepped in before that fucker could do anything. I don’t know why he was there and I don’t care why either. I’m just glad he was. I don’t think that creep is going to be bothering you boys any time soon.”

 

The way he had said ‘you boys’ had sounded like he was saying ‘my boys’. Neji wonders why he would sound like that. Like those two are his whole world and he’d do anything to protect them.

 

* * *

 

(Shikamaru’s POV)

 

After the events of yesterday, all Shikamaru wants to do now is curl up in his bed and sleep for a week or two. He’s tired of answering questions and if Ibiki-san comes out here one to ask him even one more question he’s going to wind up snapping. He doesn’t get why his part in the whole ordeal is so interesting. He barely remembers any of it beyond the acid green haze of rage that had fallen over him when Naruto had screamed. He supposes that – after everything he’s been through – acid green is the color he associates with overwhelming anger.

 

He yawns and curls up under his blankets even more. He can hear his adopted brother and unofficially adopted brother arguing(like an old married couple) as they always do. He can hear the sounds of dishes clacking and clanking against each other in the sink as his mom washes them and his father moving around in his office as he quietly talks to someone. These are the sounds of his household and he lets them wash over him. They are soothing to his frazzled nerves.

 

He is just starting to doze when a quiet knock brings him back to full awareness. He yawns and calls out sleepily, “Door’s open.”

 

His mom pokes her head in and smiles at him. “Tired?”

 

“Mm. Pretty much done...with everything right now,” he admits through a yawn.

 

“I don’t blame you. It’s been a trying couple of days. I still can’t believe Elder Danzo would be such a...a….” she trails off.

 

“A creep?”

 

“Yes! Honestly, approaching our boys like that. He got what he deserved.” Shikamaru grins at the pissed expression on his mom’s face and she gives him one of her more mischievous grins back. “Anyway, Chōji-kun and Ino-chan are here. Do you want me to send them up?”

 

Shikamaru yawns again, but nods as he says, “Sure, I’ll just wind up falling asleep if you don’t.”

 

She nods and slips out and not long after Chōji and Ino are walking in. He waves at them from where he is still curled up in his blankets. Ino rolls her eyes. “Really? You’re still in bed?”

 

“I came back to bed after Ibiki-san left. He was way too interested in my version of the events and I barely remember any of it. I mostly remember being in a pissed off haze, but he didn’t seem to understand that. Mendokuse...”

 

Chōji gives him a concerned look and Shikamaru waves him off. “I’m just tired and cranky. I think Ibiki-san eventually realized how annoyed I was getting with him continuously asking questions I seriously don’t remember the answers to. Anyway, how’s your tou-san, Ino? Tou-san said he got hurt while trying to get answers out of that Danzo creep.”

 

“I visited him earlier and he said he’ll be fine in a couple of days. As it is, Hokage-sama has called in another member of my Clan to mind walk that nasty old man. Hopefully, he’ll break soon so this can all be over with. I won’t be able to rest easy until he’s locked up tight.”

 

“You’re not the only one. Tou-san says that there are a lot of people calling for Danzo’s blood right now,” Shikamaru tells her.

 

Chōji nods, “A lot of them are the parents of the kids who got to the Academy. We might be training to become Shinobi, but that doesn’t mean that we still aren’t kids at this moment. My tou-san said that all the Clan Heads are going to be out for blood too. It doesn’t matter why Danzo was there because he isn’t actually allowed to be within the Academy grounds. Sure he can pass through to go to the Hokage, but he isn’t supposed to linger or talk to the kids there.

 

“Tou-san didn’t go into a lot of detail as to why he wasn’t supposed to be there, but apparently it wasn’t anything good. Something about kids going missing.”

 

Shikamaru winces and he sees Ino do the same. If that man is suspected of snatching kids than it’s going to look bad when he goes to trial. If there even is a trial. The Hokage can execute him for treason without trial if the reasons are valid enough. And even if he did have a trial, well...there is no way that the jury will be impartial. There were too many witnesses that went home to their parents. Parents who then quickly spread the word to their neighbors and their neighbors’ neighbors. It is a vicious cycle that has only grown since yesterday and it will only get worse as time goes on.

 

He sighs and then yawns. Shikamaru shakes his head to try and dispel some of his exhaustion. It doesn’t help and his friends look at him with concern. Ino watches him for a moment before finally saying, “We’ll let you catch that nap now, okay? You really do look tired.”

 

“Yeah. Did you sleep at all last night?” Chōji asks.

 

Shikamaru gives them a wan smile, “Not really. Too much on my mind to have been able to sleep last night. It’s why I was trying to sleep now.”

 

After Chōji and Ino leave he is quick to settle back down to try and rest.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normally I wouldn't leave an author's note like this, but my laptop screen has gone out and I don't know how long it will be until I get a new laptop. So I don't know when I'll be updating again.
> 
> It scared the crap out of me when it happened. I thought I'd lost this chapter. Luckily, I got it working long enough to save my work. *huge sigh of relief*


	18. Trial (Alternatively, The End of An Era)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My laptop screen is definitely dead and I'll either wind up replacing the screen or the whole laptop all together. So I'm now typing this on my new tablet while on Google Docs with a Bluetooth keyboard. It isn't the best solution but it's the only one I have right now since my Internet is out as well. And it's better than having to do it on my tiny phone screen 
> 
> As for the Internet being down, well, my sister(the one with all the kids who like to sap my creativity with their bad behavior) accidentally placed our router near a bag of magnets when we were moving things around. So yeah, all the fun. She is very sorry it happened and she hates that she did it, but I guess if it had to happen she couldn't of picked a better time to do it. My mom just ordered a new router a few of days ago.

(Shikamaru's POV)

 

 

The trial goes exactly as Shikamaru had thought it would go for the most part. The trial, itself, takes a full week  so that all the charges may be read out and be carefully deliberated by the not-so-impartial jury. There are a few surprises that crop up, however. Like the fact that Danzo had a rather large private army composed of children that he had snatched and brainwashed. Shikamaru almost snaps when he hears those charges being read off of a rather long list. There are multiple counts of kidnappings and abuse. He isn't surprised when treason is read off if the list of charges.

 

The other charge that comes out is an even bigger surprise than the one involving the child army. Danzo is accused of one of the worst forms of Bloodline Theft on multiple counts. The charges being leveled against Danzo are because the man stole multiple Sharingan eyes from the deceased Uchiha Clan members. Shikamaru has to hold Sasuke back from attacking the man then and there(he doesn't blame the boy for being as pissed as he is). As it is, there are many Clan Heads who have been thoroughly insulted by the the man's warmonggering ways. 

 

Shikamaru knows, that with all charges leveled against Danzo, that it doesn't look good and he doesn't think Danzo is going to get out of this alive.

 

 

(Shikaku's POV)

 

 

When he had been told that both his sons and the boy he thought of as a nephew would be called on as witnesses, Shikaku nearly blew a fuse. After everything that had happened he didn't and still doesn't want any his boys near that old war hawk. He knows, even as he watches them sit through the trial while trying not to react to the charges against Danzo, that there isn't much of a choice as to whether or not they'd be allowed to sit out the trial. Especially when it becomes apparent that Danzo had desecrated the deceased Uchiha Clan.

 

No one is happy when that little bit of information comes out. If he has desecrated the Uchiha then what other Clans may he have done the same to? And then it comes out. Danzo has also desecrated their Shodaime Hokage's grave in order to have those Sharingan eyes implanted. The room explodes with furious yelling and Sakki is thick in the room.

 

Shikaku immediately looks to his boys and focuses on them. To his surprise, Shikamaru's Sakki is also in the air. Only Shikamaru's is swirling protectively over the three of them and being projected outwards so that the Sakki of the adults doesn't touch them. Shikaku sees movement from the corner of his eye and he leans back a little to see Hiashi watching his son with mild curiosity on his face. Shikaku flares his own Sakki in a warning. He won't tolerate anyone trying anything with his kids.

 

 

(Hiashi's POV)

 

Hiashi has never had a very good opinion of Nara Shikaku(or any Nara, to be honest). He's never known any Nara to be very motivated and it had seemed as if the son would follow in the father's footsteps. However, it appears that the Nara heir is very different to what he had assumed he would be like. The way the Nara boy is projecting his Sakki tells Hiashi that the child must be a prodigy much like Neji. Though he is most likely more of a cerebral genius rather than a physical genius like Neji is(not that his nephew is a slouch when it comes to intelligence).

 

 

He's heard good things about the boy before, but he has always subscribed to the 'believe it when seen' philosophy.  He's somewhat glad to see that the boy is living up to his reputation. Another part of him wonders just how much he is living up to his potential. A stronger flare of Sakki from Shikaku makes him look at the Nara Clan Head. The man's eyes are narrowed on him and it doesn't take long for him to realize that Nara Shikaku is warning him away from his boy. He looks away before the Nara can feel threatened. There is nothing more frightening then an angry and motivated Nara and he does not want that kind of focus on him. Especially not when the Nara is at the height of his protectiveness due to Danzo's actions towards the Nara's children and the Uchiha boy.

 

 

(Hiruzen's POV)

 

 

When the verdict comes back from the jury as finding Danzo guilty on all counts, Hiruzen is not surprised. Danzo had made few friends with his overly militant stance. There are not many people who actually want to go back to war in the village. Especially since things have been fairly peaceful. Danzo would have all of Konohagakure no Sato believing that they would be at war the very next day. Hiruzen will be one of the few people who will miss the man(or rather, the man he used to be). On the other hand, however, he will not miss the man's scheming and his inability to listen to reason.

 

As he sentences the man to death, Hiruzen allows only a moment of grief to pass over him like a cloud's shadow over the ground.

 

 

(Shikamaru's POV)

 

 

When his dad tells them that Danzo's sentence is beheading by an ANBU operative, Shikamaru narrow's his eyes. Shikamaru knows that his dad knows what he is trying to convey the moment their eyes meet. The older Nara laughs and quietly tells him that Danzo's private child army has already been apprehended and their chakra sealed away. They won't be able to escape and free Danzo. Nor will they be able to overpower their jailers with their chakra sealed. In fact, some of the youngest children had willingly turned themselves over to the forces that are loyal to the Hokage. Shikamaru can't help but be relieved by that information.

(Children have always been a soft spot for him. The kind of soft spot that will make him happily commit cold-blooded murder in the name of a wronged child(Shikamaru knows that this is a dark thought, but he has never thought of himself nor claimed to be pure. Not as he is now and certainly never during his life as Hyo.)

 

His dad is as good at reading him as Zack, Cloud, and Vincent were(Tifa had been fairly good at reading him but not as good as those three), Shikamaru thinks. Though, that doesn't mean that the older male can always read him(just like his  other family members couldn't always read him). His dad complains rather loudly and often that he is such a troublesome boy to get a bead on to his friends and teammates. They laugh at him each and every time. His mother just rolls her eyes at her husband whenever he starts to complain to her.

 

As it is, Shikamaru is relieved that it will all be over soon. Sasuke has been inconsolable ever since they found out about the implanted Sharingan eyes in Danzo's arm. Naruto has been acting out because of Sasuke's irritable mood swings. Shikamaru just wants his brothers to be happy again and for things to go back to normal. That won't happen until Danzo is dead and and six feet under.

 

 

(Shikaku's POV)

 

 

The execution takes place in front of the Hokage's Tower. All Shinobi and Kunoichi, even retired ninja, are there, regardless of rank or age. Shikaku knows that the Hokage is making a statement by calling back as many of Konoha's forces as safely possible. The statement is this - Treason and traitors will not be tolerated. Even someone as venerable as Shimura Danzo can and will be held accountable for such crimes.

 

When the chakra enhanced blade falls, Shikaku doesn't look away. He doesn't look away even as the Genin - those who haven't been blooded yet, at least - flinch or vomit at the sudden and harsh reminder of the reality of their careers. The Chūnin - even the new Chūnin - and the Jōnin all watch on stoically. They are thoroughly aware of the price of treason. He glances to his right and sees one of the Academy teachers looking on with a hard face. 

 

Shikaku immediately remembers him to be Umino Iruka, a young but loyal Chūnin with a bright future in education if he keeps going the way he is now. Umino Iruka had been one of the first instructors on the scene(even if he hadn't been faster than the Hokage). The young man had not even so much as looked at Naruto with judgemental eyes(according to the blond). Iruka had, in fact, told Naruto and Sasuke to go to safety with their group of friends until he came to get them. He had even led Shikamaru back in side after the boy's altercation with the old war hawk.

 

Shikaku wonders if he should talk to the Hokage about getting the young man a raise.

 

 

(Shikamaru's POV)

 

 

It's only been three days since the verdict has been handed down, but Shikamaru swears that these three days have passed by at the most excruciatingly slow crawl. However, today is finally the day of the execution. Shikamaru is pacing his bedroom floor as he waits for his dad come home and call him and his brothers down. Being as young as they are, they are not allowed to attend the execution. One can imagine just how displeased Sasuke still is about that little tidbit.

 

Shikamaru, himself, isn't very happy either. Then again, it's not like everyone knows that he is mentally an adult in a child's body. It would have looked decidedly odd to others if his dad had let him go with him to the execution. Still, Shikamaru wishes that he could confirm the bastard's death with his own two eyes(he hopes the monster will stay dead. He has had too many experiences with the dead not staying dead to ever believe that someone like Danzo didn't have contingency plans). He thinks Naruto and Sasuke would be less stressed if he had been able to do so. 

 

But he can't, so he paces over the floorboards and hopes that his dad will come home soon and end this seemingly infinite waiting game.

 

 

(Shikaku's POV)

 

 

When he gets home the house is quiet. It's as if the whole structure had a giant privacy seal placed upon it. It's a bit odd, Shikaku thinks, to come home to such silence. Especially when there are two competitive boys who like a wrestle and fight living here. No matter how much he complains, home will never be the same without Naruto and Sasuke around.

 

But while their silence is odd, it is Shikamaru's silence that worries him. His silence is an eerie kind of quiet. It's the kind of silence that makes you tiptoe out of fear of waking some lurking creature. The kind that heralds a kind of desolation behind it. He's seen the temper his son has and perhaps the comparison isn't too far off(maybe it is the gleam in his boy's eyes when his temper sparks, but Shikaku knows, all too well, the look of a man bent on the destruction of his enemies). As he calls all the boys down, he wonders what his son's silence means this time.

 

It turns out that he shouldn't have been so worried about Shikamaru. It's Sasuke that he needs to worry about right now. The boy is as unbalanced as he will ever get at this point in his like and it is all Danzo's fault. Even in death, the man's crimes will insure his notoriety here in Konoha for many years to come. Shikaku shakes his head and sighs. He completely understands where his son is coming from when he says he just wants life to go back to some semblance on normality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blah, working on a processor that doesn't have all the things I want on it is a pain in the ass. Having no proper internet connection sucks.
> 
> Anyway, here's the next chapter. If you see any typos or something that could use a change, let me know. Also, let me know what you think about this chapter.


	19. Zen (Alternatively, A Place of My Own)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have Internet again! Now I don't have to Bluetooth my chapters from my tablet to my phone so I can post them. I want to run around my house screaming in happiness. Instead I've started working on this chapter.
> 
> Also, *squees in fangirlish glee* For those of my readers who have read Okami-Rayne's Break to Breath, Akumisan on Tumblr has started to turn it into a Podfic. Head over to her Tumblr: http : // akumisan . Tumblr . com /
> 
> Just take out the spaces and you're good to go! I very much recommend going to read Break to Breath and the rest of the series if you haven't read it yet! The writer is a lovely person and her writing is absolutely amazing! You won't be disappointed if you love Neji/Shika/Neji.

(Shikamaru’s POV)

  
Shikamaru sighs as he stares up at the sky from where he is standing in the middle of a clearing. The eleven-year-old male has his hands wrapped over the top of a shovel and is standing in a rather large hole. When he’d asked his parents if it was okay for him to have his own space in the forest they had been very accommodating. Unfortunately, they’d also made it very clear that they expected him to do most of the work on his own. Something about not letting him get a swelled ego.

He laughs to himself quietly. He supposes that it would look that way, especially since he’s gotten a bit more anti-social with his increasing age and the things he’s experienced in this life. He can’t really blame his parents for thinking that way, but Shikamaru had gotten so used to being on his own when he was Hyo that he really can’t make himself be any more different than he already is. Change is difficult for him and he’s already made so many changes just to be able to stay with his family. But now he needs one thing that is his, solely his. A place that he can run to when his need for space, peace, and quiet becomes too much. Shikamaru has never lied to himself or to his parents about his need to run at times(he never will, not when he’d been honest about it in his past).

Shikamaru lays the shovel down and carefully climbs out of his hole so as to not displace any of the loose dirt. The hole will eventually be his own personal hot spring with the help of fuinjutsu. He also plans to build a cabin out here. And maybe, if he has the time, he will plant a garden. This place will be his true home. No matter how much he loves his parents, his brothers, the house they live in, he will always need his own place to return to. His own little piece of Zen, so to speak.

Shikamaru stoops down after he reaches the top and picks up a bottle of water. He pours some over his head and scrubs his face with one hand before taking several deep pulls from the bottle. He recaps the bottle and sets it down. He stretches with a low groan as his back pops in several places. He winces at the sound. If his mom had heard that she’d have blown a gasket. She’s gotten a bit troublesome in the last year. Perhaps it is because he and his brothers are getting closer to graduation. Or maybe it’s due to Sasuke’s more moody nature. Ever since the boy hit puberty he’s gotten to be a bit of a brat. Oh, not anything bad, but just enough that people think he has a smart mouth.

Shikamaru snickers, his eyes creasing at the corners as he remembers Sasuke sassing that bastard, Mitsuki. None of their group likes that man. Kiba is always saying that the man smells like lies, anger, and snakes. That is never a good combination in Shikamaru’s mind(snakes always bring to mind Midgar Zoloms and those things had been downright nasty). It doesn’t help that his anger seems to be directed at Naru. Sasuke takes great pleasure in throwing people's’ actions back in their faces when it comes to the blond.

There’s also the questions that the Uchiha has been asking. None of the adults seem to know the answers to those questions or don’t want to answer them if they do. So Shikamaru has done some very discrete digging on his own into Danzo. What he’s found so far isn’t much, but he’s beginning to see a pattern and it doesn’t look good. It seems that whenever the Hokage would try for peace, Danzo would undermine his efforts by going behind the man’s back and creating more conflict.

He's fairly certain that the man was linked to a lot more conflicts than was stated during the trial. Case in point, lately, things have been better between Hinata and her immediate family. Apparently, her cousin is much kinder now then he had previously been. He hasn't met the other boy properly so he can't do anything but take Hinata for her word. Her grandfather, however, is still a pretentious prick, but Shikamaru is glad that her situation is looking up now after so long.

Shikamaru stops his musing on the past and turns his attention back to his plans for the future. He climbs down the sides of his new embankment to start packing the dirt down. He wants to get started on the finishing touches before a storm can pass through and ruin all his hard work.

 

* * *

 

  
It’s three weeks into the summer break and Shikamaru is laid out on the ground wishing that his parents would just give him a break. He already does his own training on top of the building and construction work he's been doing. It's a real pain in the ass to have them on his case to do even more training. He may be strong when compared to new Genin, buy he does have a breaking point(if they don't lighten up soon he'll reach that point fairly quickly). He doesn't even open his eyes when his dad prods him on one side of his rib cage with a toe.

“You alive there, kiddo?”

Shikamaru snorts and says, “No, I died. Did you really have to ask me such a stupid questions?”

“Well, you're mouth is running, so I guess you're good for more training.”

“I swear to gods, I will put Shinobi Grade itching powder in your bath gel if you don't leave me alone with my bruises,” Shikamaru sharks.

His dad chuckles, “Maa, maa Shika-chan, you know as well as I do that your kaa-san will kill me if I come home without you slung over my back.”

“Good luck,” Shikamaru muttered as he rolls over with the intention of taking a nap. He knows he'll be sore as hell later, but right now he couldn't care less. Suddenly, there are arms under him and pulling him up and Shikamaru lets out a startled grunt. He growls, “Oi, what the heck are you doing?”

“Taking you home since you refuse to walk back. Are you seriously going to complain about a free ride?”

“Ugh, whatever, Oyaji. Do what you want. You're going to do it anyway.”

His father chuckles again and Shikamaru yawns as he lays his heads down against the older man's shoulder. His eyes slip shut and the last thing he remembers is the tender and warm, “Sleep well, little fawn.”

 

* * *

 

(Nibelhiem)

  
A blue-eyed, blond-haired thirteen-year-old boy opens a coffin lid and stares down into glowing red eyes, “Sorry it took me so long to get you out of here. I'd forgotten how protective my Ma can be… Vincent, is this as weird for you as it is for me?”

The red-eyed male gives the boy a bland look, “We appear to be in the past. I don't think it gets any weirder than that, Cloud.”

Cloud cringes, “Yeah, I guess that's true.”

“So what now, oh great leader?” Vincent snarks.

“You’ve spent way too much time with Zack…”

 

* * *

 

(In Midgar)

  
A fifteen-year-old black-haired, violet-eyed teen sneezes and his green-eyed girlfriend giggles.”Someone must be talking about you!”

Zack grins and says, “Want to bet that it's Cloud?”

“No bet. I'm certain that it is our way ward missing love who's talking about you," the girl says sweetly.

“I can't wait to see him again! It means we'll be one step closer to fixing this mess and beginning that family we all wanted. Say, Aerith, why did the Planet send us back? Why didn't the Lifestream just migrate like it should have?”

“Because the Planet was too weak to recreate Omega. When Hojo started having Deepground kill all those people, Omega was awakened early and then destroyed by Vincent and Chaos. That threw a wrench in the Planet’s ability to protect the Lifestream. It's not AVALANCHE’s fault, though,” Aerith says softly. She continues, “Hojo is the one at fault and this time we can stop him before he can hurt anyone else ever again.”

“Like Seph and Angeal! You know, I'm really glad that Genesis is on our side this time around. Things will be so much easier with him helping us.”

Aerith nods in agreement with him. Then her eyes go distant, “But we might not see him ever again because of the changes we're making.”

“We’ll see him again, Aerith, even if I have to travel the whole world to find our little brother. That's a promise! The Planet told you that the whole group was sent back, so that means he's out there somewhere. I just hope he's not alone,” Zack says.

Aerith smiles sadly, “So do I. But if he is we won't let him stay that way. And if he's not, well, I doubt he'd say no to more family members.”

“Hyo? Say no to family? Hah! That guy would sooner chew off his own hand then walk away from family! Hyo’s just that loyal a person. I sure do miss him, though,” Zack grins sadly. Then he says, “it’s just not the same without our little brother being here. I mean, yeah, we know he's out there somewhere, but Hyo isn't here with us. It's kind of sad because I could really go for one of his little shoulder bumps right now.”

Aerith giggles and rests her head on Zack’s left shoulder. “He’s always so awkward when it comes to showing that he cares, but I think that is one of the best things about him. We've always known when he's being genuinely affectionate because he doesn't often go out of his way to leave his comfort zone. Though, I do hope that, if he's got people who care now, they show him that they care. He deserves the best after the life he led last time around."

"I know and I agree," Zack says. He continues on grimly,"you know, back when we were still in the labs - Hyo, Cloud, and I - I used to hope that whenever poor Hyo would flat line on that damn operating table, he'd stay that way. It's harsh, I know, but Hojo...he did horrible things to Hyo. Hyo lost his memories the last time he flat lined because of Hojo. That's how bad it was in the labs.

"I can still remember the way he looked at me as he was bleeding out that last time before Hojo finally stopped torturing Hyo with the worst of his experiments. He looked so relieved, like he was so ready for it to all be over, for all of it to end. Like it didn't matter that he was dying so long as he didn't have to wake up in that place even one more time. Of course, Hojo just couldn't let go of his newest lab specimen.He just couldn't leave well enough alone!

I didn't see the kid again for a few weeks. And when I did, he couldn't speak -Hojo probably did that so Hyo couldn't cuss him out in his own language anymore since the guy didn't speak Midgarian Standard and he definitely didn't understand it. He didn't recognize me either. He kind of went feral after that. The scientists had to drug him pretty heavily to do anything with him or he'd kill them.

Not that I blame him for any of it. None of those people cared that we were human beings and the few that did? They never lasted long with Hojo as their employer. He'd nab them up for his experiments if they displeased him, so they learned fairly quickly to never show their emotions. The ones that died quickly, they were the lucky ones."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we have another time skip and things are fairly tame in the beginning. The ending sections are where the story really starts to pick up.
> 
> We're going to be seeing more of AVALANCHE from now on and you also get a bigger glimpse into Hyo's past in the labs.
> 
> Let me know what you think! ^_^


	20. Graduation  (Alternatively, The Night When Life Said "Screw the Plot")

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all comes together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you got to see some of AVALANCHE last time and got a glimpse into Hyo's past. And by this time you all should have a good idea of what's going on. We'll soon be reaching the point where it all comes together, just not for Shikamaru. He's in the dark because of his lack of memories.

(Shikamaru’s POV)

  
Shikamaru sighs as he stares up at the newly revealed Hokage's Monument. He can't believe that he got roped into painting the damn thing. Not that he isn't proud that the three of them didn't get caught doing it. It means that their stealth abilities are far superior to a great many of the veteran Shinobi in the village. But that is also a bad thing. If they can out maneuver the ANBU Black Ops then who else can do the same? He sighs again as he decides to talk to the Hokage about increasing the standards for the ANBU.

Beside him, Naruto, Sasuke and rest of his group of friends are snickering as they watch a good portion of the Shinobi forces scramble around looking for the culprit. The rest of the classroom is no better as they crowd the windows. Shikamaru wishes that he hadn't chosen a seat so close to the blasted things at the beginning of the school year. Iruka-sensei's futile attempts to get the class settled down only seems to make everything worse as the kids get louder and Mizuki isn't even helping the poor man. Shikamaru drops his head down and proceeds to beat his head against the desk. 'So noisy... I hate school.'

Finally, Iruka-sensei has enough of their disobedience and uses his signature jutsu to make his head grow. The man yells for silence and the rest of the class settles down. Shikamaru relaxes as the noise level drops and he feels someone pat his back. He's pretty certain that it is Sasuke since the hand came from his left. If there's one thing that he knows, it is that Sasuke is always at his left and Naruto is always at his right. He doesn't know why they place themselves to each side, but he appreciates the way it implies that they always have his back.

He listens to their teacher as he scolds the class for laughing over the vandalism of the Hokage Monument. The man tells them that they should tell him if they know who the culprits are. No one says anything. Naruto doesn't even twitch in his seat and Sasuke looks as if this is all just a waste of his time. Iruka-sensei doesn't even look Naruto's way as he looks around. Shikamaru knows that normally Naruto would be laughing his ass off at his better pranks - which is how he usually gets caught - so Iruka doesn't suspect the boy. Especially since his (known) pranks only include people.

Eventually, Iruka-sensei gives up and tells them that they will be having a pop quiz on the Henge. The whole class crowns and Shikamaru buried himself further into his arms. He's already so done with this day and it isn't even noon yet. He wonders if his dad's lazy behavior is actually contagious because he usually has more energy and patience then he does right now. Or maybe it's because he was up at three AM rather than his usual four-thirty AM. He yawns and he hears Iruka-sensei sigh roughly.

"I now that you find all your classes boring, Shikamaru-kun, but could you at least pretend to be paying attention?"

"We're having a quiz on the Henge," Shikamaru says as he slowly lifts his aching head. "Pretty sure I'd proven that I had this jutsu perfected a few months ago. Pretty sure that the rest of my friends and Naruto have it down pat too. Unless you'd like Naruto to prove it to you and Mizuki-sensei again?"

The two teachers look at each other with haunted expressions and Shikamaru knows that they are remembering the blond's jutsu. Naruto starts to snicker as Ino, Sakura, and Hinata look simultaneously amused and exasperated. Sasuke smirks while Shino drops his head into his hands in embarrassment. Kiba just laughs outright and Chōji shakes his head as they remember Naruto using the perverted jutsu for the first time. Shikamaru just stares off to one side. He still isn't able to look his brother in the eyes whenever the subject is brought up(even if he is the one to bring it up).

Their teachers sigh and Shikamaru knows he's won. He never wants to see Naruto that way ever again and the blond will take any chance he gets to prank people with it. Henge practice would be the perfect time for the younger boy to use that horrible jutsu. Sure, it might have a practical use on missions, but that doesn't mean that it isn't as uncomfortable as hell to see his brother that way. He hears Kiba coughed "Prude" and then the Inuzuka yelps as Ino slaps him over the head.

Iruka-sensei sighs, "Just go outside. I swear you guys are going to give me gray hair..."

Shikamaru scoffs internally. If anyone is going to be getting gray hair, it will be him with all of the antics that he has to put up with. He wonders how he managed to keep his sanity with his niece and nephews before remembering that he had traveled a lot. He didn't often stay long enough to ever be annoyed by the kids back then. He sighs as he stretches and stands. He hears the rest of the class complaining as he walks out with his friends and family. Iruka-sensei's voice sounds out asking the complainers if they have perfected the Henge to the degree they have.

'That's a bit harsh,' he thinks as he considers the fact that his group is composed of mostly Clan children or had Shinobi as parents. The majority of their classmates are from civilian families. It doesn't matter much, he supposes. They will either make it or they won't based on their own merits. Those who worked hard to get where they are will become part of the Shinobi Forces. It's not like the Hokage will accept anything less.

As for his own group, well, they had the benefit of years of extra training. They'd worked hard to be within the top fifteen. Shikamaru may be a genius, but he's content with his middle of the class ranking. He doesn't need to validate himself by taking the title of rookie of the year. Sasuke can have that. Sakura, he knows, will be the top Kunoichi of their year. Her intelligence and work ethic will take her far. Ino and Hinata are right behind her.

In fact, the only reason Hinata isn't going to be the Kunoichi of the year is because Sakura has better grades. Not by much, but enough to make a difference. Naruto, Kiba, and Chōji all fall in between Shikamaru and Ino while Shino is competing with Sasuke for rookie of the year. He proud of them to be honest. They've done well for themselves and if they continue to work hard, they will be great.

 

* * *

 

Shikamaru yawns as he and his brothers walk into the house. Almost immediately they are approached by their parents/parental figures. Shikamaru sighs as he guesses why they look annoyed(mom) and amused(dad). His guess is proved right when his dad starts to laugh and says, "The Monument? Really?"

His mom sighs, "Why did I ever expect you to be a stern parent?"

The older man just shrugs. "You have to admit that it is a brilliant prank. And they never got caught. I think that's a good indication that they are ready to take their next steps into the world of Shinobi. The Hokage suspects that you three did it, but since there's no proof he can't really do anything. Especially since your still civilians until you graduate. Sarutobi-sama says congratulations, by the way, for putting a bee into the Civilian Councils collective bonnets."

Naruto grins, "Well, if we had done it, then we would have taken the credit. But to be honest, we don't know who did it."

Their mom rubs her forehead and groans. "How is it that I managed to raise a trio of pranksters who won't even own up to their antics?"

Sasuke shrugs and Shikamaru deadpans, "We have plausible deniability. After all, we were still in bed when the vandalizing of the Hokage Monument had to have happened. You should know this since you were the one to get us up for school."

She throws her hands up and start out a frustrated noise. "And yet you're the only one who could plan such a strategy for Naruto and he has the Kage Bushin to pull off such a plan. And Sasuke, I thought you didn't get involved with these sorts of things?"

"I don't. If the Hokage is fine with it then I suppose we should be as well. I did find the scrambling ANBU to be amusing, though. Then again, I think the whole class was humored by the event."

"Let it go, Yoshino. The Hokage isn't mad and said that so long as they don't do it again - before or after graduation - then they won't have any problems."

"Fine, but if you boys do this sort of thing again you'll be doing double the amount of training you normally do with me. Am I understood?"

"Hai!" All three of them respond promptly with wide eyes.

Sasuke and Naruto both give Shikamaru apologetic looks. They know that his training regimen is hellishly hard already. Shikamaru can't help the hysterical burble of amusement that passes through his mind as he shrugs at them with a blank face. If his training gets doubled it will look something like what his past routine looked like. He'd had a harsh training regimen that he had adhered to back then. Then again, all the people who were enhanced had hard training schedules. It was better than being killed by something stronger than them.

He doesn't say anything to his mom, though. He doesn't want her to think that she's working him too hard, not when they will soon be entering the Shinobi Forces. Every moment of training will one day be the difference between life and death. He doesn't want his parents to ever have to bury him, Naruto, or Sasuke.

(He's already seen what losing Aerith did to his sister's mother(her death still hurts, but now he can think about his sister without the overwhelming pain he used to feel) He doesn't want his parents to feel that same sort of devastating grief that Elmyra had felt after Aerith had passed away. But he also knows that death is inevitable. It's something he has accepted(had accepted a long time ago) and he's already decided that he won't ever look away from death.

After all, looking away from it won't stop it from happening.)

 

* * *

 

When Naruto comes out of room designated for the Ninjutsu portion of the test with a devastated face, Shikamaru is ready to do something appropriately horrible. "What happened in there?"

"They wouldn't accept the Kage Bushin for the Bushin portion of the test. And I somehow managed to miss enough questions on my test that I failed because I can't do normal Bushin," Naruto whispers. "I told Iruka-sensei that he should of gotten a note from the Hokage that would allow me to use the Kage Bushin, but he said he never got such a note. I don't understand how I could have missed that many questions either! It was easy for me since you helped me study."

"Naru-"

"Can you just... leave me alone for a little while? I really don't want to talk about this right now."

Sasuke gently grabs Shikamaru before the more mature brother can lose his rarely lost temper. Shikamaru sighs and nods, "Yeah, okay, but we're going to the Hokage once you're feeling better."

Naruto gives him a weak smile before turning and walking away. Shikamaru has to stomp on the instinctual need to tear apart the people responsible for that sad look on his younger brother's face. This can't be Iruka-sensei's fault(the man sees Naruto as a little brother and is often over at the Nara residence to speak to their parents about how all three of them are progressing in class) which means that it was either the Hokage's secretary or Mizuki who deliberately lost the note. Furthermore, it means that Naruto's written test was also sabotaged. Talking to the Hokage is their best bet, but right now all they can do is wait until Naruto feels up for it. Shikamaru doesn't like it and he can tell that none of their friends like it either.

Eventually, their friends go out to greet their parents and to show off their Hitai-ate. Sasuke gently nudges him outside and drags him to his parents. He distantly hears the Uchiha say, "Someone sabotaged Naruto and Shikamaru is pretty pissed. I don't think it's a good idea to talk to him right now."

"And Naruto? Where is he?" His dad's voice.

"I'm not sure. He took off after he explained how he had been failed. He wanted to be alone for a while. I don't think he'd appreciate being followed anyway. He looked pretty upset," Sasuke says.

Shikamaru hears a feminine sigh, his mom's, then, "Then lets get you boys home. Shikaku and I will come look for him afterwards. He may be calmed down by then."

 

* * *

(Sasuke's POV)

  
Sasuke sits in the window of his room with a scowl on his face. Naruto still hasn't been found yet and it worries him. The blond is his best friend. He's Shikamaru's other brother too. The Nara is seriously protective of both of them, but he is especially protective of the youngest male. Not that he blames the Nara for being that way. He's seen the way the villagers treat Naruto and there's no reason that he's seen or heard that gives them the right to call him such horrible names. Nor does he deserve the nasty looks he's been given time and time again.

Sasuke jumps down from the windowsill and starts to pace before making a decision. He packs up some of his Shinobi gear and jumps out of his window. He'll find his friend and beat the bad mood out of him if he has to. He knows that Naruto is disappointed with his failure, but that doesn't give him the right to make them worry like this. Especially not their shared brother who'd do anything for them.

 

* * *

 

When he finds the blond it is at one of the outlying training grounds with a scroll in his lap. He ignores that in favor of his anger. He jumps down from the tree he had landed in and walks over to the other boy with clenched fists. He lifts his right fist and brings it down on top of Naruto's head. "Idiot! Do you have any idea how long we've been worrying about you?! Are you trying to get people killed?! You know how protective Aniki is of us, of you! He'll definitely snap and kill someone if he thinks either one of us has been hurt or messed with!

"Just because you failed once doesn't mean that it's the end of the world! The Hokage will probably allow you take the test again if you just talk to the old man!"

The blond yelps and clutches his head in pain, but Sasuke can't find any sympathy in himself for the other boy. He's brought this down upon himself with his selfish actions. "Aniki is at home pacing his bedroom because he's really worried and your parents are out there looking for you! Hell, I bet Iruka-sensei is out looking for you too! Hiding like this, it's not fair to any of them! It's not fair to me either. You swore that we'd be best friends and that you'd help me in whatever way necessary. Well, it goes both ways, you damn moron! You should already know that you can come to me for anything too!"

The blond stares at him with tears in his eyes before he smiles at him. "I already knew that, bastard. But it's good to hear you say it! Besides, Mizuki-sensei gave me a make up test! I learned a new jutsu! I can now make my clones explode, Sasuke!"

Sasuke chokes on air and his voice sounds out a bit shrilly, "That's.... How gullible can you get?! Isn't that the Forbidden Scroll?! Oh gods, we are in so much trouble! Forget Aniki killing other people, he's gonna kill us because of your stupid ass!"

Just as he's about to continue, a dizzy spell comes over him. The last thing he sees is Naruto slumping to one side. He only has a moment to think 'Shit, we've been ambushed' before he blacks out.

 

* * *

 

The next time he awakens, it's not quite as the same person who'd blacked out. Sasuke lifts his head slowly due to the headache he has and sees Naruto doing the same. "Dobe? You okay?"

The the blond grunts, "I'm gonna kill Kurama for this headache when he wakes up. I don't think I have ever had a migraine this bad before."

The Uchiha sighs in relief, "Good to know you made it back in tact. So...do you have a bunch of memories that you didn't have before or is that just me? 'Cause I'd swear that Shikamaru is our brother?"

"It's not just you. I have them too. Kurama did say that time travel can be weird. Maybe this is one of those things that changed when we came back?"

"Maybe. By the way, you're still a fucking idiot!"

"Eh?! Why are you saying that to me now?!"

"Even I wasn't ever stupid enough to steal the damn Forbidden Scroll, Dobe! What the hell?!"

"Oh! Mizuki is a traitor and he works for Orochimaru. So yeah... hehehe..."

"That isn't something to laugh about, Dobe," Sasuke deadpans. "If my memories are right, then we are so dead. Aniki is going to kill us."

Naruto blinks and Sasuke can't help but say, "Well, this is going to take some getting used to. Looks like our younger selves will still influence our behavior."

Naruto nods, "It makes sense. But can we really say that it's a bad thing? I mean, it seems like we've led some great lives so far. Who's to say we can't keep living them? We might be from the future, but we're still the same people who lived this life. We wouldn't have these memories if we weren't meant to have them.

"Besides, I really like having a brother. It's nice," Naruto says with a sad smile. "Anyway, we should get moving before Mizuki gets here. I don't know how much longer we have and it seems like my younger self had already figured out that Mizuki was a bigger bastard then Kiba thought he was.

"And you're right. Shika-nii is going to murder us for this crap," Naruto lets out a nervous laugh. He says, "but at least we know he cares?"

Sasuke hangs his head and begins to mutter to himself as he follows Naruto. His friend is such an idiot. He really doesn't want to die by a pissed off and freaked out Nara. Especially not by one who happens to be a lot more motivated than Sasuke can remember. But then again, hadn't the Nara been MIA by the time he'd gotten his head out of his ass and returned to Konoha and all the people he'd left behind?

"Naruto, wasn't he missing in action before the war?" Sasuke catches up to his friend to walk beside him.

Naruto nods, "He was swept overboard during a freak storm while out on a mission. He was trying to save a child when it happened. We never saw him again, as you already know. It didn't stop us from looking for him until things started to go to hell. I intend to keep him from going missing while we're figuring out exactly where everything went wrong.

"I'm not losing my friend and brother this time around. I'm going to save him." The Uzumaki's face is the picture of determination.

"We'll save him," Sasuke says as he whacks his friend over the head. He continues, "together. He's my brother now too. I'm not about to take him for granted the way I took Itachi back then. Besides, Itachi... he might be my blood brother, but he left me. If I can find a way to get him to come home, I will. But he's got a lot to make up for.

"Aniki... He's always been honest with us. He's always been up front about what he'd do for us. We'd be pretty bad brothers if we left him behind now after everything he's done for us."

Naruto laughs and says as Sasuke turns to glare at him, "I think I like how your younger self is affecting you! You're less of an angsty, brooding bastard now!"

Sasuke rolls his eyes as he says seriously, "Might be all those years of therapy Aniki made me take. If I'd known how much I really needed it, I might have started going a long time ago. I'd have probably been less of a miserable asshole if I had. Anyway, how are we going to do this?"

"Well, we'll have to improvise a little since you're here, but I think we can make things go almost the same as before. It'll give you a plausible explanation for having an active Sharingan too! So this is what we'll do..."

 

* * *

(Shikamaru's POV)

  
When his parents bring Naruto and Sasuke home with blood on their clothes and skin, Shikamaru nearly has a heart attack. As it is, he lunges at them and begins to berated them while punching them in the shoulders.

"You idiots!" He snarls as he grabs the collars of their shirts. He grits his teeth against the ache in his throat as he continues to yell. "Do you have any idea how worried I've been?! When I heard that the two of you were involved in some kind of incident, I was afraid one or both of you were going to get yourselves killed! How could the two of you be so stupid?! Didn't I teach you better than this?!

"How many times have I told you that I'll always be here for you?! How many times have I told you that I would always help the two of you in any way possible?!" He shakes them harder as he roars, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOUR DEATHS WOULD HAVE DONE TO OUR FAMILY?! HOW COULD YOU TWO BE SO SELFISH?!"

Shikamaru throws himself away from them as tears begin to burn his eyes. He turns away before they can see them. He doesn't want them to see him at his weakest. He's already lost his whole world once before and he doesn't want to lose his family in this life. Especially not this early when these boys have their whole lives ahead of them. He chokes back a sob and suddenly there are two sets of arms around him. It's Sasuke who speaks first, "We're sorry, Aniki. We hurt you pretty badly, didn't we?"

Naruto says tentatively, "We didn't mean to, though. It wasn't meant to be this way...but... I have something I need to tell you. You're my brother and you deserve to know."

Their father responds before Shikamaru can. "Are you sure, Naruto? The Hokage did say that you didn't have to tell anyone if you don't want to."

Naruto nods against his shoulder. "Sasuke knows and he's my best friend. Shika-nii is my brother. How can my best friend know, but not my brother?"

The older Nara sighs and says, "How about some tea first? I think we could all use a minute to calm down and then you can tell him the whole story. It's not like your brother won't dig until he gets all the gory details anyway."

Alarmed, Shikamaru whimpers, "Gory? Gods, what the hell did you idiots get yourselves into?!"

His blond brother laughs nervously, "Um, well, it turns out that Mizuki-sensei is a traitor and he wanted to kill me?"

Shikamaru drops his head into his hands and groans in exasperated horror. No matter what he does, the blond will always be a trouble magnet.

"Oh, and Sasuke activated his Sharingan!"

The man in a pre-teen's body wonders if it's too late to find a hole to crawl into and never come out of it.

 

* * *

 

Later that night, he contemplates what he's been told as he cradles his sleeping brothers on each of his shoulders. It makes sense, the fact that Naruto holds the Kyūbi. It answers all the questions he's been asking for as long as he's known the blond. He wonders how anyone can be so blind as to not see how wonderful his brother is. He wonders why they couldn't, at the very least, leave an innocent baby alone instead of abusing him.

Then he decides that it doesn't matter. Naruto is his brother now. He will always protect him to the best of his abilities. The blond will never be alone ever again. Not so long as he still lives. And he plans to be around for a very long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how many people saw that coming?
> 
> So now both sides of board are set with poor, clueless Shikamaru(Hyo) being stuck in the middle. And he has no idea what's going on. But his cluelessness is going to keep changing things despite everyone else's plans. It's going to cause a certain organization a lot of problems. Even more than the ones who have come back to actively change all the things that they wish they could have changed before.
> 
> They've got people they want to save and an end of the world to stop. Even if the Shinobi side doesn't know exactly why things went to hell in a hand basket.


	21. Sensei (Alternatively, Being Introduced to Sarutobi Asuma)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As we all know, the separate elements of this story have finally revealed themselves. Though, not in their entirety. There's still more to come, my friends!

(Sakura's POV)

  
She woke up this morning with the full weight of the future bearing down on her shoulders. She knows that she isn't the only one who came back, but Kurama had informed them that not all of them may make it. She hopes that the majority of them made it. She and Naruto cannot do this alone. She hopes that, at the very least, Kakashi-sensei has made it back as well.

As she sits in what appears to be her new usual spot in the classroom with her hands clasped tightly in her lap, she prays that they will be able to stop the horrors that had come so many years after the war. She prays that they will be able to save the people who didn't deserve to die the way they had before. She prays that nothing will happen as it did before. The death and destruction during the war had only been a preview of what was to come and she prays that they will be able to stop it before it gets that far.

Haruno Sakura, former Jōnin and Iryonin of Konohagakure no Sato, prays with all of her heart to whichever deity that will listen. 'Please. Let us save our homes, our people, our futures. Please...'

 

* * *

(Ino's POV)

  
Waking up this morning had almost been an exercise in futility. She is utterly exhausted, mentally and physically. But she also knows that she can't really act any different than she usually does. Her new memories and actions might actually help with that since her younger self appears to be very different from what she remembers. She's more like who she was after the Chūnin exams. It's helpful, but definitely weird.  
'Not so weird that I can't use those memories to my advantage, though,' she thinks as she walks into the classroom. She's one of the first few people to get here so early. Sakura, however, has beaten her here. The pink-haired girl looks up and Ino feels relief surge through her. Her friend has made it back and that means that there is one more medic on their side.

She rushes over to Sakura and throws an arm around her shoulders, as she usually does, and hugs her. She whispers, "Good to see you, Forehead."

The girl gives her a sad smile. "It's good to see you too, Pig."

Ino shakes her head and says, "Get your mind off of those depressing thoughts. Do you want Shikamaru to pick up on your bad mood? He'll think someone was picking on you again and you know how he gets about that sort of stuff."

Sakura giggles and her eyes light up as she clearly remembers one of her new memories. Ino grins back because it's hilarious to suddenly remember how the lazy and unmotivated Nara goes from sleepy and uninterested to snarling and hissing Mama cat in seconds flat. She doesn't know exactly what changed to make him this way, but Ino thinks that it is a good change. It's certainly been a good change for Naruto and Sasuke, at the very least. Honestly, they had both needed some serious therapy before they came back.

She hopes the therapy Sasuke got this time around has helped the man since he has the memories of it.

 

* * *

(Shino's POV)

  
Upon awakening in the past, the first thing the Aburame does is take a count of his Kikaichu. He has to ensure that he and his insects are ready to face the horrors that will be upon them sooner rather than later. If anyone had asked him why in that moment he would have told them, "Why? Because there was too much lost. I will not allow anyone in my sight to be taken from me or their loved ones ever again if it is in my power to stop it. I would sooner give my own life then allow the same thing to happen a second time. That is why."

He carefully takes stock of every little thing that is already different from what he used to know afterwards. There are pictures that he can remember posing for, but at the same time they are not pictures he had before. His childhood, itself, is very different than he remembers it being that first time around. It would seem that Nara Shikamaru, himself, is very different as well. He seems to be the catalyst for all the changes that he is experiencing now.

Shino muses for a moment before deciding that the changes are not bad changes. After all, life is all about adapting and evolving to keep up with an ever changing environment. The Nara is much more likely to survive this time around and that is very good to know. They will need his expertise. Even if they do not give him the whole story, they will still be able to give him the details of their experiences when it becomes necessary. Perhaps it is wrong not to tell him everything, but the less people who know about them, the less likely it will be for a traitor to infiltrate them.

Shino wants to put an end to the people who had caused all of their issues and he won't let anyone get in the way of him and his friends and family. Those who try will be struck down just as surely as he will strike down his enemies.

 

* * *

(TenTen's POV)

  
As she sits in the clearing with her team, TenTen wonders what exactly happened to change things this much already. Her team is apparently a hell of a lot more cohesive then they had been before and it's weird. Her memories don't change very much until they are already two years into the Academy and even then it isn't too big a change. Well, at least not in the grand scheme of things. She remembers a Neji who has become calmer and less angry. A Neji who is closer to little Hinata at this age then he'd been before.

She thinks the only one who has memories that are very different from before is Neji and even he thinks that it is very strange. Though, she thinks that he is much happier to not have to pretend that he isn't close with his cousins. He says that these changes are because Nara Shikamaru, because the Nara took in Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto. The young male is very different, more mature at this age than he's ever been, but, despite his maturity, the Nara is still lazy. Which is something that she knows that Neji hates. He'll still be able to work with the other boy, but he'll never be very happy about it.

TenTen wonders if his dislike is more due to the Nara's disappearance than his laziness. The man had been swept overboard on a mission and had never been seen or heard of again. And yet... and yet, the Nara records that tracked whether or not their members were alive had clearly shown him to still be amongst the living. If that was the case, why hadn't he come home? Had he been captured? Had he been too injured to return and simply decided not to come back? If he had been she could understand. But if he just hadn't come home? Hadn't even tried to return? Well, he should be glad that they never found him.

But, what if his maturity is because he has somehow came back as well? She watches as an exceedingly hyper Lee(he's so very happy to see their sensei again. To be honest, she and Neji are happy to see the strange man again too. 'Too many good people lost,' she thinks. Fiercely, she thinks, 'Never again. Never. We won't let it happen this time. We won't lose them this time. We'll save them!') past them with Guy-sensei before she turns to convey her thoughts to the Hyūga.

 

* * *

(Neji's POV)

  
When TenTen first tells him her theory, he almost dismisses it. But the longer he thinks about it, the more it makes sense. What if the Nara has somehow come back as well? If that is the case, where had he been before the world had gone to hell? How bad had his health been that he could never come home? Had he even tried? Neji doesn't know, but he does know that this Nara Shikamaru is very different when compared to the person he'd once been.

He wonders just what he could have seen to be the way he is now. Had he lived long enough to see the world start to die the way they had?

 

* * *

 

(What no one, not even Shikamaru himself, will ever realized, is that he had been one of the last living people. He hadn't just seen when the world had started to end. He'd been there when the Planet's death rattles had started to shake the world apart. Those on the Shinobi side had already initiated the fuinjutsu that would take them as far back as Kurama could take them with his chakra. They had never seen just how bad things had been at the very end.

Hyo had been the one to experience the end of everything, even his own life.)

 

* * *

(Shikamaru's POV)

  
He isn't certain what is is that sets his senses off after he enters the classroom with the rest of his, but it has him frowning. He looks over the room to try to find the cause of his uneasy feeling, but everything is as it should be. Shino is talking to Kiba quietly about a new insect that his father discovered. Sakura and Ino are giggling to themselves while looking at a magazine. Hinata in looking over their shoulders and blushing as one of the girls turns to tease her. Chōji is sitting in his usual spot and waves him over with a smile. Naruto and Sasuke are already squabbling, as they always do in the classroom, behind him as he goes to sit down with his chubby friend.

"Yo," Shikamaru says as he lifts his hand in a lazy wave.

Chōji holds out a chip to him, "Hey, Shikamaru. So what happened after we went home? Dad got called out for something last night and I figured if anyone knows, it would be you."

"I can't say much, but I can tell you that a traitor was captured last night," Shikamaru whispers. "The Hokage doesn't want to scare any civilians so he wants to keep it as quiet as possible."

Chōji's eyes go wide and he says in a low voice, "Woah, not cool."

"Exactly. Gave me a hell of a scare since Naruto hadn't come home. Luckily, he was with the Hokage at the time. He had the test re-administered to Naruto since it was a secretarial mess up that caused Naruto to get failed."

"So he's really going to get to graduate with us! That's great! Congratulations, Naruto!"

"Thanks, Chōji!"

As their other friends offer congratulations of their own, Shikamaru leans back and watches with a smile. Now that he is surrounded by his friends he can feel himself beginning to relax and he wonders if he was just being paranoid after last night's events. He decides that it doesn't matter anymore. Mizuki is as good as gone and he won't be able to try to lay hands on either of his brothers ever again.

 

* * *

 

As the teams are called out, Shikamaru zones out until Sakura's name is called along with Naruto's and Sasuke's. They are the new Team Seven under Hatake Kakashi. Hinata, Kiba, and Shino become Team Eight under Yūhi Kurenai. Iruka-sensei announces that Team Nine is still in circulation so his team, consisting of himself, Chōji, and Ino, becomes Team Ten under Sarutobi Asuma. Shikamaru raises an eyebrow at that.

The Hokage's son? Does the old man want to keep a closer eye on him now that he is a Genin? Or is it just a coincidence? Shikamaru snorts quietly at that thought. Nothing is ever a coincidence when it comes to himself. So just what kind of game is the Sarutobi elder playing? He'll just have to wait and see, he supposes. If things get weird, he'll go directly to the Hokage and ask him. While he does prefer to come at a situation sideways, he isn't opposed to being straight forward. It's worked well enough for him before, both in this life and his last.

 

* * *

(Kakashi's POV)

  
He can pinpoint the exact change in their chakra and he knows that all three of his kids have made it back. Seeing the three of them through the window is a weight off of his shoulders, one that he hadn't even known that he'd been carrying since he woke up this morning. He smiles to himself as Sasuke discretely looks out the window and catches his eye. The Uchiha lifts an eyebrow and smirks at him slightly. There is a mischievous gleam in the boy's eyes and Kakashi wants to laugh. He supposes that he can be early this time. It will certainly give his fellow Jōnin something to freak out about.

'My kids know me so well,' he thinks with a fond expression.

 

* * *

(Kurenai's POV)

  
She grimaces to herself when she sees Kakashi slip in at the last moment. She doesn't know what he's planning, but it can't be anything good if his smug aura and too happy eye smile is any indication. She hopes that it won't wind up involving her and her new team. She'd become a Jōnin for the very chance to become a Jōnin sensei. She's always wanted the chance to leave her mark on the next generation of Shinobi and now she has it.

She narrows her eyes at the man. If he does anything to ruin this day, she will make his life miserable. Hell, she'll even go as far as to sick Anko on the perverted Jōnin. He wiggles his fingers at her in a little wave, his demeanor still way too happy to be normal. She shudders and wonders why the Hokage keeps giving teams to the man. He may be a friend of hers, but he's certifiable and he really doesn't need to be influencing young minds.

She sighs as she cloaks herself in a Genjutsu and enters the classroom to retrieve her team. She smiles as she watches them for a moment. The three seem to be very close. The class reports had said as much, but it's good to see it with her own eyes. Her Genin don't even startle when she reveals herself and her smile widens as she calls them to her. They will be a great team. She'll make sure of that.

 

* * *

(Asuma's POV)

  
Seeing Kakashi enter the hall with the rest of the Jōnin at the last minute, but still on time, is a mind fuck of epic proportions. The man is notoriously late all the time and Asuma wonders just what the newest batch of Genin has gotten themselves into if Hatake Kakashi is on time. He hopes that those poor kids have got what it takes to keep up with the Jōnin and prays that he won't be too rough on them when he fails them.

'If he fails them,' he reminds himself. His father had told him that this particular group of Genin are going to be exceptional Shinobi if given the right teachers. It was why he had assigned Asuma a team even though the man had protested profusely. He isn't teacher material, but the old man would hear none of it. Asuma sighs as he enters the classroom after Kakashi and Kurenai.

The moment he does, he sees the flabbergasted look on the Chūnin sensei's face. He suppresses a smile because that's exactly how he feels. He turns to the new Genin and calls out for Team Ten. His father hadn't given him anything on the brats, so he's pretty much in the dark about them. He'd only told him that he'd be very surprised by his team.

He isn't expecting much though. Well, not until a long-haired Nara stands up wearing a standard Shinobi uniform already. The boy is tall and tanned from what looks to be long days in the sun. He has a lazy expression on his face and Asuma almost writes him off as being per the norm for his Clan. Then, the boy tilts his head and two others stand up as well, an Akimichi and a Yamanaka.

It's the typical set up for the three Clans, but he's getting a weird vibe off these kids now. Especially the Nara boy. The Nara's eyes slip open a little from their sleepy half-mast and focus on him. Asuma has to remind himself to breath. He's just been abruptly reminded of the razor-sharp intellect that lurks under the lazy facade of all Nara. And this kid? Asuma can tell that he's as sharp as they come.

'Damn,' he thinks. 'The old man wasn't messing around when he assigned this kid and his team to me. And he wasn't kidding when he said I'd be surprised. If this guy is this sharp already, what are his teammates like?'

He's going to be finding out, he guesses. There's no way these kids will wind up failing with a guy like him on their team. Asuma rethinks his strategy for testing the team. Maybe he won't even need to test them at all. Not with the way they are moving together rather than separately. He can see the wary way the Akimichi is watching him, but the Nara and Yamanaka are both completely confident as they guide the boy down the steps with nothing more than a nudge of a shoulder.

He looks down at them for a moment before smiling. He turns and waves a hand towards the door, "Follow me."

He's almost glad to hear footsteps sounding out behind him.

 

* * *

 

After they've sat down on the bench he waves them to, he lights a cigarette and inhales the smoke thoughtfully. He lets them sit for a few minutes while he deliberates on what he wants to say. Finally, "So I'm going to be completely honest with you three... I never wanted a team. Unfortunately for me, the Hokage is of a different mind."

The Akimichi wilts, the Yamanaka rolls her eyes at him(he'll have to break her of that habit), and the Nara eyes him coolly. He doesn't seem very impressed. In fact, he'd almost say that the boy is ready to just grab his teammates and leave altogether. Not the reaction he wants... "For some reason I can't figure out, he seems to think that I'm the best person to teach you kids. Can't say that I am, though. I know how to guard, fight, and kill. Teaching is a whole different story. Anyway, as far as the Hokage is concerned, we're stuck with each other. Which isn't really conducive for fostering trust in one another, now is it?"

All three of them are eying him curiously now. It's better than the previous reactions. The Nara, however, seems to be waiting for something. Maybe he's waiting for him to fuck this up.

'So don't fuck up. It'll be a hell of a mess to explain to the old man if I do,' he reminds himself.

"That being the case, lets introduce ourselves. I'll go first so you'll have an idea of what I'm looking for. My name is Sarutobi Asuma. I like smoking, playing shōgi, sausage, and soba with tororo. I don't like people who tell me to stop smoking and asparagus. Hm... my hobbies, well, playing shōgi and now training you three to be excellent Shinobi, I suppose. As for dreams for the future, for now it's making sure that you three reach Chūnin within the next two years.

Your turn, red."

The Akimichi points at himself and Asuma nods. The boy takes a breath and says, "My name is Akimichi Chōji. My likes are my friends, but especially my best friend, my family, and food! But I like barbeque more than most other foods. My dislikes are inedible things and people who mess with my friends, call me fat, or waste food. I also dislike people who are mean to others for no reason. My hobbies are buying and eating snacks, training with my family and friends, hanging out with my friends, and cloud watching with my best friend. And my dream for the future is to be a great Clan Head for my family!"

Asuma nods as he listens. He's encouraged by the boy's introduction. Chōji, as he now knows the boy to named, has quite a bit more depth to him than he'd thought. He says, "That's a good dream to have. I can't really do much to help you with that, but I can help you get stronger so that your family will always be able to rely on your strength. You next blondie."

The girl narrows her eyes at him, but answers without comment, "My name is Yamanaka Ino. I like flowers, working with the flowers at my parents shop, and my friends and family. I also like shopping, cherry tomatoes, and pudding. My hobbies are shopping with my friends, Sakura and Hinata, and making poisons."

Asuma winces inwardly. Great... She's probably holding a grudge.

"My dream for the future is to become a great Iryo-nin who can fight on the front lines without needing to be protected and to eventually become the Head of my Clan."

Asuma blinks before smiling, "That's a very good dream. I assume that the front line medic dream comes from Tsunade of the Sannin."

Ino nods decisively. "Yes."

"Well, I don't know much medical Ninjutsu, but if this is the path you want to take for your Shinobi career I can talk to some people about getting you enrolled in the Medical Program. It'll be tough, though, and you'll have to work hard. Both there and at team training."

Ino smiles and says, "I'm no stranger to hard work! Bring it on!"

Asuma nods, "Then it's a plan. It might take me a little while, so you'll need to be patient until then. Right then, last but not least, you in the black."

The boy watches him for a moment before yawning and saying, "Nara Shikamaru. I'd rather not talk about myself, but since you'll probably be troublesome about it - I like my family and friends, cloud watching with Chōji or my brothers, playing shōgi against my old man, mackerel, and kelp. I hate eggs, it's worse if they're boiled, and if you try to make me eat them I'll throw up on you."

The last statement is said so matter of factly that Asuma forgets to hide his reaction and he leans away from the Nara. "Consider me duly warned."

The boy nods before continuing, " I dislike people who interrupt my free time with useless things - especially when I'm with family and friends - people who treat others badly just because they can, and having to say anything more than once. If you don't understand me the first time I say something when I'm already hindering my vocabulary then you won't ever understand what I'm saying. Please don't ask me to repeat myself unless you honestly couldn't hear me."

Asuma gives the kid a deadpan look. The kid looks back with a surprisingly steady gaze.

'He's not about to back down,' Asuma realizes. 'That's a good thing. He'll make a good leader one day if I can make him a little less high-strung.' And the kid is. Most people wouldn't see it, but he can tell that the kid has already figured out the quickest way to remove himself from a situation he doesn't want to be in. While that's a good skill to have, he shouldn't feel that way about team meetings. He coaxes the boy carefully, "And what about your hobbies and dream for the future?"

The Nara shrugs, "Cloud watching, playing shōgi, and hanging out with my family and friends when I'm not training. My dream for the future..."

The boy trails off for a long moment. Finally, with a furrowed brow he says as if it has only just occurred to him, "I guess my dream for the future would be help my brother, Naruto, become Hokage and to be a good Clan Head too... I've... never really thought about it beyond actually surviving my Genin years."

"Never?" Asuma asks lightly. He doesn't want the kid to close up on him, not after he seems to have unthinkingly exposed a part of himself.

Shikamaru(he reminds himself to call him by his name instead of just calling him kid) frowns as he says, "A lot of Genin die because they either don't listen or have had a mission upgraded without warning due to a client lying about the mission's rank."

"Mm, I suppose that would make you rethink things. But while those things are true, you forget that I'm going to be there to protect you if a mission goes wrong. You've got time to figure out a dream that's meant solely for you," the Sarutobi says. Asuma claps his hands together, "anyway, why don't I take you kids out for lunch as part of us officially becoming Team Ten?"

His Genin give him a weird look and he just smiles at them mysteriously. Shikamaru snorts(the noise is strangely feline) and stands while stretching. Then he says, "So long as there's no eggs, I'm not very picky."

It seems to trigger something because Chōji and Ino begin to clamor about where they want to go. Asuma wonders if he hasn't just made a mistake as he hears some rather expensive options get tossed about.

 

* * *

(Shikamaru's POV)

  
Maybe the Hokage doesn't have any ulterior motives, but he's sure as heck stuck them with a contradictory sensei. The Sarutobi is very weird, Shikamaru decides. He had outright admitted to not even wanting a team, but here he is paying for one hell of an expensive meal after their first meeting. It doesn't make sense to him, but he can already see a bond growing between the man and his teammates. He'll take a wait and see strategy for now. If things go well then maybe he'll be more inclined to approach the older man if he needs to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's all of the people for Konoha. We've still got others that haven't been introduced or reintroduced in some cases.
> 
> So what did you all think? Did the majority of the characters seem like themselves?


	22. Sensei Part 2 (Alternatively, The Beginning of A Bond)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: First and foremost, I am so, so sorry for the delay in getting this chapter out. I've had a bunch of real life stuff come up. Most of it good, but some of it isn't so good. In fact, if things go the way I think they are, there will be a time where I won't have proper Internet when we start remodeling the kitchen and bathroom. It sucks, but I can't do anything about it. We really need it done. I'll try to write chapters during the time we are lacking Internet, but I make no promises since I don't know how much free time I'll have.
> 
> I'll also be looking for a job, so that will eat into my writing time as well. I haven't lost interest in this story, though. Updates will just be slower. I'll do my best to try and keep them from turning into a once a month thing, however.
> 
> Now, onwards with the story!

(Shikamaru's POV)

  
Watching his teammates harass their sensei has to honestly be one of the funniest thing he's seen in a while. Between Chōji and Ino, it's very clear that Sarutobi-sensei has no chance when it comes to keeping his wallet full. The man should have never offered to treat them to a meal. Most Genin Kunoichi like to diet, but luckily he'd broken Ino and Sakura of that habit long ago. He'd made it abundantly clear that he would not see them dead on their first real mission due to a lack of energy or muscle mass.

Now, Ino eats quite a bit to go with her training schedule. Chōji, of course, is an Akimichi, so he always eats. And Shikamaru, himself? He can eat a lot, but he has already chosen not to break the Sarutobi's bank. He doesn't know if it's a hold over from his past life or if it's because he seems to always be growing, but Shikamaru has noticed that he eats at least twice as much as any normal Genin. He's always associated that sort of appetite with SOLDIERS.

Regardless, there's no point in subjecting the Sarutobi to his appetite when there's plenty of food at home. When the man eyes his meager portion(compared to Ino's and Chōji's) he shrugs and tells him that he isn't that hungry. Ino and Chōji eye him in disbelief at his statement and the Sarutobi sighs.

"You really don't trust me, do you?" It's more a statement than a question.

"No," Shikamaru says honestly. He continues, "I'm a firm believer in trust being earned, not given. I'm certain that you are trustworthy in the eyes of your comrades, but you haven't earned that from me yet. It goes both ways, though. After all, I haven't earned your trust yet either."

The Sarutobi has a strange look in his eyes that the young Nara can't decipher as he stares at him. Then, strangely enough, the man smiles at him.

"Well said, Shikamaru. You're right about trust being earned and I'm hoping that you'll give me the chance to prove myself to the three of you. However, I do need you to be able to trust me enough to follow orders if I tell you to run or hide. Sometimes missions do go wrong, as you mentioned earlier. I don't want you kids on the battlefield with me when that happens until I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you can take care of yourselves."

Shikamaru nods agreeably, "That's fair. I'd be the same way if I were you."

He hears Ino sigh before she says, "You're so paranoid, Shikamaru."

"Better paranoid then dead. Or have you forgotten about Danzo?"hi

Ino and Chōji both wince at that name and the Sarutobi picks up on it immediately. "I heard that Danzo was executed for treason, but no one talks about how that happened? Would you mind explaining what you know about it, Shikamaru?"

Shikamaru blinks and asks in confusion, "You weren't there when it happened?"

Sarutobi-sensei shakes his head. "No, I was still part of the Twelve Shinobi Guardians back then."

"Twelve Shinobi Guardians?" Chōji's face scrunches up in confusion.

Ino's face is no better and even Shikamaru is unfamiliar with the title. He thinks that the Sarutobi Clan's man may find their confusion amusing. The man is smiling at them and yet, oddly enough, Shikamaru doesn't feel the need to defend his friends or himself. He doesn't know how to define the look that the older man is leveling at them, but he almost wants to label it as something just shy of fondness.

 

* * *

(Asuma's POV)

  
He hadn't expected to get attached so quickly, Asuma muses as his new Genin team stares at him in confusion(he gets the feeling that confusion isn't something Shikamaru feels often). And yet, here he is. They've already started to grow on him. He's certain that his father planned this team just for their likability and their ability to confuse him.

After all, their contradictory natures should have them at odds seeing as Ino seems to be the most driven out of the three. Not that the other two aren't just as driven. They do have their own dreams and wants, even if Shikamaru doesn't quite know what he wants for himself(Asuma hopes he can help the Nara change that). Their just more laid back then the Yamanaka. He wishes that his old man hadn't hidden the details of his team from him.

He's running blind here, but, then again, his team is doing the same. They'll just have to give it time, he supposes.

Asuma chuckles as he explains, "Yeah, the Twelve Shinobi Guardians. They're essentially a group of elite Shinobi who serve and protect the Daimyo. I was apart of them until just a year and a half ago. The sect still exists, but a new generation of Guardians are now part of the Daimyo's entourage. My generation has either retired, returned to service as I have, or joined the Fire Temple."

Comprehension dawns on two of the faces of his Genin. Shikamaru just looks thoughtful. He seems to mull over his explanation for awhile before he says slowly, "So no one took the time to explain to you that Danzo was a complete creep?"

Asuma is being to think that maybe he should have pressed harder for answers. Because the look on his Genins' faces is beginning to disturb him. He answers Shikamaru's question before the boy can get impatient, "No. They were kind of leery about the whole Danzo situation."

Shikamaru nods and Asuma can't help but think that it isn't in response to his clarification. Rather, it is more of a nod to himself, as if he's finally figured out how he wants to explain the situation. The boy takes a deep breath and sighs out.

"Danzo had a private army that was completely composed of children, both those who were and those who were not Clan children. He tried to 'recruit' my adopted brother and his best friend for this army of his right there on the Academy grounds. Unfortunately for him, my brother thought that he was a child molester. Even more unfortunately for him, I happen to be a very overprotective big brother. I tried to protect both of them and Danzo was going to attack me because of that.

"Luckily for me, the Hokage stepped in before Danzo could actually lay hands on me. By that time, however, a good majority of the children at the Academy had heard about the man being a child molester and they went home to tell their parents. Long story short, no one wanted him near their kids or in a position of power. An investigation into the man turned up a crap ton of of evidence against him that eventually saw to his execution," Shikamaru explains clinically, without emotion.

Asuma wonders at the lack of expression on the Nara's face. A closer look at the boy reveals a hint of heat in those dark, dark eyes and Asuma is sure that he doesn't ever want the kid angry at him. The Nara are notorious for not being easily provoked, but their even tempers just mean that when they do get pissed off heads are definitely going to roll. It seems that the kid has already picked up on his thoughts because he is given a tight smile that does nothing to take the sharp glint out of the Nara's eyes. Asuma sighs internally. He's got his work cut out for him with this kid.

But maybe that's a good thing. Maybe the kid needs someone who's willing to work for every millimeter he or she gains. The kid has already had a harder life as an Academy student then most new new Genin do after they are newly graduated. The Sarutobi doesn't notice when his gaze softens on the Nara, but he does notice when the kid's eyes widen and he looks away with an uncomfortable expression. Asuma knows, then and there, that he will do whatever it takes to get the boy to trust him.

(Because he can remember another genius who couldn't trust or connect with people easily. He doesn't want Shikamaru to go the same way as Kakashi; Alone and unable to let anyone close for fear of losing them.)

 

* * *

(Shikamaru's POV)

  
When Sarutobi-sensei's eyes soften on him, Shikamaru freezes for a second. He doesn't understand the reason behind the sudden change in the man's demeanor, but there's a strange feeling crawling through his chest and Shikamaru looks away. He's not used to people looking at him that way. It's not pity, he knows that much. He's seen pity in peoples' eyes before and it's not an emotion that he likes.

He'd had enough of that in his last life from people who couldn't understand that he could not change who or what he was. Nor did he want to change himself. After all, his past had made him who he was, who he still is to this day. Yes, his past had been bad, but there had been good as well. Denying the bad would mean denying the good of that life, it would mean denying his family. He won't do that, not to himself and not to the memory of a family who had once been a band of misfits.

He looks at the Sarutobi out of the corner of his right eye. The man has turned his attention to his friends/teammates and Shikamaru almost breathes a sigh of relief. He doesn't know how to handle the undivided attention he's given whenever the Sarutobi focuses on him. It's weird and unusual because only his parents, his brothers, Chōji, and the Hokage have ever given him their undivided attention. As much as he wishes he could say that the rest of his friends do the same, they do have their own lives and worries.

No matter how hard he tries, the strange warmth in his chest refuses to disappear.

 

* * *

(Three Weeks Later)

  
Shikamaru sighs as he stares at his dad and his sensei. His parents usually respect his need for distance from the rest of the world. Today, it seems as if the world has decided to intrude upon his only sanctuary. The Sarutobi lifts a couple boxes with a somewhat sheepish look and Shikamaru can't help but be mildly amused. The boxes are obviously take out and what looks to be the carrying case for a shōgi or go board. Shikamaru wonders if this is supposed to be a bribe.

The man has only let them have one day off each week to allow them to rest, after all. The rest of the week is devoted to their training on everything from teamwork to advanced tactics. Shikamaru is no stranger to teamwork, but Sarutobi-sensei seems determined to beat Konoha's version of teamwork into their heads until it is instinct for them. The man seems to read his mind because he chuckles.

"I've already been by Ino's and Chōji's homes to see if they were free. Unfortunately, they've got Clan training. Your father told me that you do your training every morning before you meet up with me, which means that you're not doing anything right now."

"I was enjoying the peace and quiet," Shikamaru says. He eyes the man for another long moment before he sighs, "I guess you can stay, though. But only as long as you plan on sharing the food and playing shōgi with me. I'll provide the tea, though. It's only right since you're my guest."

Sarutobi-sensei laughs, lines creasing the corners of his eyes. "Wouldn't have brought either if I didn't plan to feed you or play a few rounds of shōgi with you. And I'll gladly accept a cup of good tea."

"Good." Shikamaru turns to his dad, "You planning to stick around, Oyaji?"

The older Nara shakes his head. "No. I'll be back in a few hours to escort Asuma off our property, though. You two have fun."

Shikamaru wishes that the man would stay. He still isn't certain how to act around this man, but he supposes now is just as good a time as any to start learning. He waves a hand to his veranda and says, "You coming in or not?"

It's as good of an invitation as he'll ever give anyone. After all, this is his place to get away from everything and everyone.

 

* * *

(Asuma's POV)

  
When Shikaku told him that his son had his own place, Asuma had been shocked. The Nara had barked a laugh at his expression before saying, "My kid is a bit of a special case. That means that he has specific needs that are absolutely necessary for him to be able to keep his peace of mind. One of those needs is the ability to get away from people when his mind gets overly stimulated by the continuous influx of information he's always receiving. It's basically the way he decompresses after his week ends."

Asuma can understand where the older man is coming from when he sees Shikamaru's home away from home. The place is in a gorgeous location. It's almost idealistic, the small cabin in a large clearing with a stream that goes through the middle of the clearing. The cabin isn't like any he's seen before and he wonders where the boy got the inspiration for it. There is smoke swirling and curling up from a protrusion on the left side of roof. There are touches of their culture in the cabin, like the sliding shōji doors and the windows that slide to the sides rather then the more modern windows that slide up. There are even shutters on the windows for when the weather gets bad. Beyond that, he doesn't know where the heavier look of the building comes from.

The stream, itself, has been branched off closer to the left of the small home and it runs behind it. From there, steam rises up in lazy tendrils, adding to the lazy ambiance of the clearing. A very well cared for garden of flowers borders the front of the cabin on each side of the steps to the corners of the home in shades of white, yellow, and, surprisingly enough, a dark shade of pink. Further down, the stream has been branched off again in the form of an irrigation system for a large vegetable garden. The whole picturesque view has a beauty to it that he hasn't seen anywhere else.

He can't help but think that the Clans, out side of the Akimichi and Yamanaka, would be jealous of the easy, but elegant, beauty that Nara Shikamaru has managed to create. It's nothing like what he'd expect from a nearly thirteen-year-old male who occasionally moonlights as a bachelor. Hell, this is nothing like the home of a male in-between the ages of sixteen and forty. No, this the dream home of someone older, someone who knew exactly what they wanted when they had started building after they retired. That, in and of itself, is a curious thing, but he supposes that geniuses are just weird as a rule.

Weirder still is the fact that Shikamaru steps out without anyone announcing their arrival. The boy is dressed in a black yukata, much like Shikaku's, and his long hair is down from it's usual ponytail. It's obvious that the strands are long enough to reach his hips when it's released from its tie. Ino's isn't even that long! Asuma makes a mental note to talk to the boy about getting it cut before it gets him killed.

But first he has to convince the younger male to allow him to stay. He lifts the take out boxes and the carrying case for his shōgi board with a sheepish grin. This is the kid's property, after all, and he isn't here on official business. Shikamaru has every right to kick him to the curb if he doesn't want his sensei here.

"I've already been by Ino's and Chōji's homes to see if they were free. Unfortunately, they've got Clan training. Your father told me that you do your training every morning before you meet up with me, which means that you're not doing anything right now," Asuma explains.

"I was enjoying the peace and quiet," the kid says. He eyes Asuma for another long moment before he sighs heavily, "I guess you can stay, though. But only as long as you plan on sharing the food and playing shōgi with me. I'll provide the tea, though. It's only right since you're my guest."

Asuma laughs, "Wouldn't have brought either if I didn't plan to feed you or play a few rounds of shōgi with you. And I'll gladly accept a cup of good tea."

"Good." Shikamaru turns to his dad, "You planning to stick around, Oyaji?"

The older Nara shakes his head. "No. I'll be back in a few hours to escort Asuma off our property, though. You two have fun."

The kid frowns as his father walks away before he turns his attention back to him. The kid waves a hand to his veranda and says, "You coming in or not?"

Asuma gets the feeling that it's the best invitation he'll get at this point in time. He still has to build a proper rapport with this particular student, after all. He's already managed to meet with Ino and Chōji during the first and second weeks that they had been a team. They had both confirmed that it was Shikamaru that he had to convince. If he can then he'll have one of the best damn teams in all of Konoha.

 

* * *

 

When he steps into the cabin, Asuma is surprised at how spacious it seems. There are shelves lining one wall. The shelves lower to the floor are covered with scrolls, sealing supplies, and regular Shinobi equipment. The higher shelves have books and picture frames. Asuma steps further into the room to look at the pictures better.

There are pictures of Shikamaru with his family, his friends, and with his adopted brother and his brother's best friend. Shikamaru looks content - happy even - in all the pictures. He'd learned that Naruto, Sasuke, and Shikamaru are nigh inseparable from Kakashi. Apparently, Kakashi's two boys look up to and adore Shikamaru for not allowing them to be left alone. The silver-haired Jōnin had watched the three of them whenever Shikamaru had the time to walk the other two boys to their training ground.

There is a kotatsu in the middle of the floor with what appears to be a large drawing pad and charcoal pencils scattered about on it. Asuma sits down as Shikamaru disappears into what he assumes is the kitchen and he carefully turns the drawing pad so that he can look at the picture without craning his neck. A large group of people stare out at him. He can't help but wonder who they are or if the young Nara has a vivid imagination. As he looks it over carefully, he notices that the picture is unfinished. There are people missing if the way the boy has left empty spaces is any indication.

Asuma looks up when his student clears his throat. He smiles at the Nara and says, "You're very good, Shikamaru. Do you draw often?"

The boy eyes him for a moment before shrugging. The move is deceptively careless. "Not too often. I normally don't have the time to draw a lot. I usually focus on one section at a time until the whole thing is finished, regardless of how long it takes."

"That takes some dedication, though. A lot more dedication then a lot of boys your age have. I suppose having a brother like Naruto requires a person to be pretty dedicated. My old man has told me about some of the pranks that kid has pulled. Well, at least the ones he's owned up to," Asuma lets some mischief seep into his tone and eyes. He's definitely had some laughs because of the blond.

His student seems to relax a little at his obvious amusement and he counts that as a win. The kid leans against the door frame with his own brand of lazy and cat-like grace. That's one thing he's noticed about this guy, he's more aware of himself and his surroundings than any new Genin that Asuma has ever met. He wonders if it's because of all the training he does.

"Naruto is a good guy - a good brother - and he's gotten a lot of crap that he doesn't deserve from people who have absolutely no idea who or what they're fucking with," the kid says quietly, his eyes sharp. He continues, "I can excuse some things, but child abuse? Of any kind?"

The Nara doesn't verbally voice his distaste, he just gives Asuma a sharp smile - something full of jagged edges and brittle cracks that are just waiting for someone to put pressure on them. The kid seems almost broken in this moment and Asuma decides to wait him out. It's the correct choice and Asuma watches as the kid's edges smooth over. Asuma says slowly, carefully, "I'm going to assume that it's a topic that get you pretty fired up."

The kid's eyes shutter and for a while he just stands there with his chin tucked down and his arms crossed over his chest. Asuma waits(he gets the feeling that he'll be doing a lot of waiting when it comes to Shikamaru). He watches as Shikamaru takes a slow breath and, finally, the young Nara's eyelashes lift slightly. His eyes are too dark, yet too bright at the same time. There's a strange glow in them that Asuma has never seen before in anyone.

"Children don't deserve to be told that they're monsters. Children don't deserve to go hungry. They don't deserve to be verbally, emotionally, physically, or - worse yet - sexually abused. _There is no justifying that kind of behavior._ "

There is a weight to Shikamaru's words. The kind of weight that comes from experience and Asuma feels ice creep into his lungs. His voice has a hint of a growl when he says, "Is the son of a bitch that touched you dead? 'Cause if he isn't, I'm gonna kill him myself."

The kid's eyes flare open in surprise and they stare at each other. In this moment they are both completely open to one another and Asuma sees no reason to hide just how pissed he is at the thought that some bastard has touched one of his kids.

(It's at this moment that Asuma realizes it. Shikamaru, Chōji, and Ino are _his kids_. And he'll lie, cheat, steal, and murder in cold blood to protect all three of them. And maybe he'll have to thank the old man for ignoring his complaints and denials because these kids are probably the greatest gift that's ever been given to him.)

To his surprise, Shikamaru gives him a tiny, but honest smile. "Oyaji made sure that man will never be leaving the hole he stuck the bastard in. He'll never see the light of day again, not even after he dies."

Asuma nods tightly in acknowledgement and sighs, "So... Tea?"

The Nara eyes widen and he jerks away from the door frame to whirl around with a curse. Asuma's guessing that their tea has been steeping for way too long and amusement bubbles up in his chest. He starts to laugh before he can control it, but it isn't long before a low and rusty chuckle joins his booming laughter. It's probably not a good sign that they're bonding over something so dark, but Asuma pushes that thought aside. He'll take any chance he's given to make sure that _his kids_ know that they can come to him for _anything_.

He will _never_ allow them to think that they're alone in this world.

 

* * *

* * *

(Shikamaru's POV)

  
'Sensei's laughter is infectious,' Shikamaru thinks to himself as he starts a new pot of tea. He sighs as he remembers how he'd had to pour out the last pot.

"Such a waste," Shikamaru murmurs with a shake of his head.

The older man calls out from his spot in the sitting room, "What's a waste?"

Shikamaru calls over his shoulder, "The fact that I had to pour out what would have been a good pot of tea. I'm a firm believer in not wasting anything that can be used. Unfortunately, that doesn't apply for overly steeped tea. Much too bitter."

"Agreed. Though, I do know some people who do like it that way."

Shikamaru wrinkles his nose at the thought. It's almost enough to make him want to gag. "Well, I'm not one of them. I don't like overly sweet things, but extremely bitter things aren't something I like either."

The older man laughs that deep, rolling laugh of his and Shikamaru feels his lips quirk up of their own accord. He's beginning to wonder why he was so suspicious of the Sarutobi. The reaction the man had, it had been very telling. Sarutobi Asuma isn't someone who believes in children being hurt. He'd been willing to go after a man that has been in the jail for years already at just the barest hint that someone had laid hand on one of his students.

It's different from when his parents become overprotective. This man barely knows him and yet he'd looked like he'd been ready to commit murder. He wonders if this is what he, himself, had looked like after Marlene had been kidnapped that one time. It's oddly comforting to have that sort of protectiveness coming from a person who may as well be a complete stranger.

He hopes he isn't making a mistake by letting this man closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes #2: Again, I'm really sorry this is so late. I've had absolutely everything to deal with in real life and it's pretty much kicked my ass until now. Hopefully, I'll be able to get back on a better schedule soon. I'm not going to make any promises, though, as I said earlier.
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you think of this chapter. I hope you all enjoyed it. Also, please let me know if you see any typos. I'll correct them as soon as possible.


	23. Progression  (Alternatively, Asuma Makes A Promise and Learns Something New)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Writer's Block is an absolute bitch. I had this chapter semi planned out, but between my nieces, nephew, real life, and the Writer's Block I've scrapped the original idea. It was supposed to progress to 'On Screen' missions in this chapter, but it just wouldn't go any further then where I had it. So no on screen missions this chapter. Maybe I'll be able to write them later, but it's not happening here. 
> 
> However, this chapter will be fairly entertaining in certain ways.
> 
> Enjoy!

(Asuma's POV)

  
Asuma notices very quickly that, ever since the day he'd gone to the young Nara's home, Shikamaru has been more open than ever. And it's been over two months since then. Ino and Chōji are less uncompromising when it comes to talking about Shikamaru now. They are more than willing to tell their sensei about little things that will happily surprise the Nara. Anything from shōgi to a favored sweet that the young male rarely gets for himself(but will buy in bulk and go through in a week when he does buy them. Asuma had been surprised and amused at that little tidbit). In return, Asuma ensures that his whole team is treated at the end of their training week. He never treats one teammate without treating the other two.

He also continues meeting with them separately on their days off, devoting the whole day to that student. If the reactions of Chōza-san and Inoichi-san are any indication, he's doing a good job of getting his team used to him and endearing himself to the Clan Heads by being so involved with them. It's harder to read the Nara Clan Head, but Asuma has already decided that it's not Shikaku he has to get in good with. Shikamaru is the smartest kid he's ever met and he won't insult him by attempting to meet with the kid's family when he comes to see his student. Instead, he asks Shikaku to escort him Shikamaru's place.

Like he's already done today. Asuma isn't surprised when Shikamaru steps out on to the veranda without anyone calling out to him. The kid just has a way of knowing when they get past the tree line. Asuma is starting to suspect that Fuinjutsu is involved. He calls out as he walks through the clearing.

"Yo, Shikamaru! You have any plans for today?"

The Nara eyes him for a moment before before saying, "Garden needs some tending to. Some of the vegetables are ripe and need to be picked. Want to help?"

Asuma grins, "Sure!"

Asuma has seen the Nara tending to both of his gardens before. He's seen the way Shikamaru's shoulders relax as he works with the plants, the way his face turns soft and fond and a hint of sadness creases the corners of his dark eyes as if he's remembering something or someone. It's obvious that Shikamaru's garden is special to him and Asuma will take any chance he can get to know the Nara better. Getting his hands a little dirty in a garden is well worth the trust he's building with the young genius. And the fact that Shikamaru is inviting him to help him? It's a big step for both of them.

 

* * *

* * *

 

As he is kneeling in the morning sun and his hands deftly weed and pick as directed, Asuma listens to the soft rasp of his students voice as he talks about the plants. But it isn't the information about the plants that interests him the most (though he's absorbing every single bit of info he can for the sake of knowing how to help the kid). No, it's the underlying emotions he's listening to. And Asuma thinks that he'll learn more about his student just by listening. Because Shikamaru's voice is just as soft and fond as the look on his face, with that same hint of sadness underscoring the contentment the Nara seems to have found in this small place he calls home.

Asuma can't help but wonder who it is that Shikamaru wishes could be here to see what the Nara has created with his own two hands. And then he wonders if the sadness the boy carries is because that person - or perhaps more than one person - is no longer part of this world. Asuma swears then and there to quietly leave an offering the next time he's here. It's only right that he lets the person - or persons - on the other side know that he'll make sure the kid is taken care of. Because he/she/they had watched over his student first and Asuma always repays his debts. And it is a debt. Because Asuma doesn't know if he'd even have this kid in his life if it wasn't for those who are no longer here for the Nara the way he is now...

 

* * *

* * *

 

It's a week later, as they are returning from a successful C-RANK, that Ino brings up a topic that he really doesn't want to get involved with so soon.

"So," Ino says, a sly smirk on her face, "the merchants daughter was pretty cute."

Asuma groans and tilts his head back to stare at the sky, praying for patience and strength. He hears Chōji sigh. Oddly enough, Shikamaru says nothing to her pointed comment. Asuma turns his head to look at his kids. To his surprise, Shikamaru's face is scrunched up in confusion rather than disgust or annoyance. His brows are furrowed and a frown is tugging the corners of his mouth down, but his eyes are not narrowed the way they normally would be if the Nara was annoyed or angry.

"What does that have to do with the mission we just completed?" The Nara's confusion is so obvious at this point that even Chōji can't help but look at him strangely.

Ino stops to stare at him, "Seriously, Shikamaru? We're kind of at that age where guys and girls notice one another. I mean, I'm not into other girls, but she was cute and even Chōji noticed how she kept looking at you and how she kept trying to capture your attention. Are you seriously telling me that you didn't notice?"

The Nara opens his mouth to answer, closes it, and folds his arms in front of his chest somewhat defensively. Finally, he says, "I'm the wrong person to ask about noticing that kind of thing. But, to answer your question, no, I didn't notice. And, even if I _had_ noticed, it wouldn't have made a difference."

Asuma watches as Shikamaru rocks back on his heels as he contemplates his next statement. He shrugs eventually. "I may be going through puberty and all, but no one has ever caught my attention in the way you're suggesting, Ino. Maybe it's my age, maybe it's a mental thing, but I'm not interested in people in _that way_."

  
"So," Asuma falls back and places a hand on Shikamaru's shoulder in a comforting way, "do you think you might be asexual?"

Shikamaru shrugs again and his shoulder feels uncomfortably small under Asuma's hand. The kid often seems so much older and larger than life that it's kind of weird to be reminded that he's not even thirteen yet.

"I don't know. Again, it might just be my age or maybe I'm just not interested in -and absolutely no offense is meant to you all- people who can't 'get on my level' so to speak. I just know that I'm not attracted to anyone and it isn't something that I'm too worried about. If it happens, it happens. If not, oh well. I'm not going to base my life around whether someone is attractive to me or not."

Asuma nods and before Ino can say anything he says, "That's a good way to think, Shikamaru. You shouldn't be worrying about sexuality at this age, Ino. You have plenty of time to grow up more and mature despite the fact that you all are _technically_ adults due to being Genin. Don't be in such a rush to leave your childhood behind."

He watches as Ino frowns. It's obvious that she doesn't quite agree. "Ino, beyond your duties as a Shinobi, you are still just twelve years old. No one expects you to to act like an adult when we're back in Konoha and they certainly don't want you to get in a situation that you can't get out of. Relationships can be tricky and the older you act at this age... Well, some people won't hesitate to take advantage of that. Those people won't hesitate to tell you that 'you're very mature for your age'. It's how they reel you in and trap you."

"But what about Shikamaru, Sensei?" Chōji looks over at his friend in concern. "He's really mature for his age and–"

"I'd break the idiot who tried to lay hands on me without my permission," Shikamaru interrupts the Akimichi. His expression is blank, but the Nara's eyes glint darkly as he says, "I'm not a very nice person when it comes down to people invading my personal space. Unless the person invading my personal space is someone I'm used to and lets me know that they're doing it, someone _will_ get hurt."

"Woah there, Shikamaru–" Asuma raises his hand as he tries to pull the conversation back onto safer ground– "I get that you don't like people very much, but sometimes it becomes necessary for Shinobi to do things that they don't like. That includes pretending to enjoy having someone in your personal space even though you'd like nothing more than to rip that person limb from limb. Sometimes seduction becomes part of a mission that was supposed to be something completely different. Not that you three will have to deal with that. I'd _kill_ whoever tried to send any of you on a seduction mission when you're this young."

"Aw!" Ino coos at him and Asuma wonders what Kami he offended to have a twelve-year-old girl make such a noise towards him. "You're so sweet and protective, Asuma-sensei!"

Asuma sighs.

* * *

(Shikamaru's POV)

  
When Ino brings up the merchants daughter, Shikamaru is utterly confused. What did she have to do with anything? When he asks as much, Ino proceeds to confuse him further. He gets what she's trying to say, but on some level Shikamaru is left floundering. He doesn't understand and maybe it's a hold over from his past life when he had been Hyo, but the concept of being attracted to a person - or even more than one person - just doesn't make sense. It doesn't compute.

(Then again, when he had been Hyo, he had so many experiments performed on him in his younger years that he had been physically, mentally, and emotionally unable to handle people outside of his family and the few people he considered friends. Shikamaru isn't sure if the mental and emotional instability of his past is still affecting him in such a way that it might make him unable to have a partner in this life. He hopes not, because he'd always looked upon his family members with a little sadness and jealousy. He had never told any of his family, but the fact that they could be so easily affectionate with their significant others had always made him feel like a freak because he would never be able to do the same. He had never found a person he could be so comfortable with. And it had hurt(if he's honest with himself, it still does.))

In the end, Shikamaru just crosses his arms defensively in front of himself. He isn't comfortable talking about this sort of thing, but he tells Ino, "I'm the wrong person to ask about noticing that kind of thing. But, to answer your question, no, I didn't notice. And, even if I _had_ noticed, it wouldn't have made a difference."

He rocks back on his heels as he thinks about why it wouldn't make a difference. Shikamaru shrugs as he says, "I may be going through puberty and all, but no one has ever caught my attention in the way you're suggesting, Ino. Maybe it's my age, maybe it's a mental thing, but I'm not interested in people in _that way_."

Asuma's immediate response surprises Shikamaru a little. He hadn't been expecting Asuma to become concerned, nor had he been expecting to hear his own thoughts for his potential future coming from his Sensei. The older male is trying to seem nonchalant, but his eyes scream worried. 'It's nice,' Shikamaru thinks to himself as he shrugs, 'having someone on my side.'

"I don't know. Again, it might just be my age or maybe I'm just not interested in -and absolutely no offense is meant to you all- people who can't 'get on my level' so to speak. I just know that I'm not attracted to anyone and it isn't something that I'm too worried about. If it happens, it happens. If not, oh well. I'm not going to base my life around whether someone is attractive to me or not," Shikamaru says.

It's the truth, after all, and he's never been the type of person who sugar-coats the truth. Omit a little because he doesn't want to go into detail on a subject that makes him uncomfortable? Yes. Bend the truth to make something sound better? No. Doing that would lead to more bent truths and might get someone killed.

He won't do that to his precious people. Not now, not _ever_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ THE ENDNOTES!!!
> 
> Endnotes: This chapter took FOREVER to write between real life and writer's block. But it's finally here for all of you who have been waiting so patiently. And thank you so much for doing so! 
> 
> Just so you all know, no Shikamaru isn't asexual. But he isn't going to be the kind of person who will feel attraction towards just any person either. After the hell he went through as Hyo, Shikamaru still has a lot of issues that he needs to work out. He's very much the kind of person who would need time to get to know a potential partner. So I suppose, for this story, Shikamaru would be a gray demisexual. As in he'd need to trust the person before he felt any sexual attraction, but only towards one very specific person after a specific situation.
> 
> I've thought about it for a while and it seemed to fit Shikamaru(Hyo) after everything he's been through. The actual experiments from his life as Hyo might not be affecting him anymore, but the mental and emotional scars are still very much there.
> 
> Anyway, that's the end of the notes. I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you did, then let me know. I love hearing from my readers and I can't wait to hear from you!


	24. Missions (Alternatively, Fragments of the Past)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shikamaru finds something during a mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back in business! Hopefully I can get back to posting chapters regularly like before.
> 
> Things are about to get interesting for Shikamaru!

(Shikamaru's POV)

It's after Shikamaru's first C-RANK mission that things start to get interesting for him. For example, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura come home from their own C-RANK mission talking about a Nuke-nin and his apprentice who are both from Kiri. According to them, Momochi Zabuza is actually a pretty decent guy who had taken in a small child with a bloodline limit only to go rogue because of the Mizukage's cruelty. Shikamaru just sighs when Naruto describes how the two men had been tricked by a shady business man named Gato. And it's clear that the supposed business man had been running a much less legal operation under the guise of his corporation.

He decides to be happy that everyone has come home safe and sound. He also praises the trio for noticing that something wasn't right with their mission when Gato's name had been mentioned by their client. The fact that Naruto and Sasuke live with the Jōnin Commander means that he and the other boys hear about what is happening outside of Konohagakure no Sato more then the rest of their age group. They had used the information they had heard from his father to their advantage, fought off Zabuza, had then _proceeded to make the man their ally_ before taking out Gato and looting the business man's base of operations. He wonders what Hiruzen thinks of Team 7's shenanigans before snickering. He can imagine the look of long suffering patience on the Sandaime's face.

 

* * *

 

Shikamaru is now on his third C-RANK mission. A simple Courier mission, run to the border, drop off papers for the border stations, pick up the reports from them, then go home. Something fairly easy, at least it should have been, Shikamaru muses to himself darkly as he grips a kunai tightly. But no, fucking Iwa Shinobi just had to pick today of all days to start something while they were halfway between bases. Now he's separated from his team and he has no idea where they are.

"Come out, come out wherever you are, little boy," a woman calls out, her voice sickly sweet.

'Do you really think I'm that stupid, you bastard daughter of a syphilis ridden whore?' Shikamaru thinks viciously. 'I'm a Nara and Nara don't do stupid, you dumb bitch.'

If his mother could hear his thoughts right now... Shikamaru can guarantee that he'd get his mouth washed out with soap. But she isn't and Shikamaru is pretty damn annoyed. In fact, he's currently heading towards pissed off. That isn't exactly the best thing for the Iwa Kunoichi to do. After all, pissing him off has consequences and they are usually not of the good type of consequences. Shikamaru drops his shoulders, closes his eyes, takes a slow, deep breath, and calls upon the training he'd done as Hyo.

(If anyone else had been there to see his eyes open, they would have been surprised by the darkly glowing irises that would be revealed.)

It is mostly Hyo who opens his eyes and takes in everything around him. It is Hyo who, when he is certain of his surroundings, disappears into the underbrush, as silent as a shadow and as deadly as his namesake. The Iwa Kunoichi will regret targeting him, for Hyo is truly merciless when it comes to the people he cares about and she is very much a threat to them. She won't survive this encounter. It is an irrefutable fact that Hyo won't allow her continued existence.

Hyo lifts his head so that he can catch the scents on the wind and allows himself a moment to grieve for the life blood that will soon be staining his hands. She should have never gotten in his way. She might have lived if she had walked away.

'But it's too little, too late,' Hyo thinks as he silently slips underneath a bush. Leopards are ambush predators, after all, and he considers Hi no Kuni to be part of his hunting grounds. In the end, it is never very intelligent to hunt a predator in his own territory and it will only be a matter of time before she comes through this area. That being the case, Hyo relaxes and settles down to wait. Ultimately, there's no reason to rush this hunt and spook his prey into a fight or flight response. It won't help him or his leap*.

 

* * *

(Asuma's POV)

Asuma can't help but hate Iwa nin. The fact that they'd attack a group of kids who are new Genin just adds to his hate. Yes, he knows that Konoha isn't exactly innocent, but Konoha Shinobi at least _try_ to convince any enemy Shinobi with Genin to turn back so that they might live. Children are precious and true Konoha Shinobi don't want the blood of children on their hands. As it is, Asuma is insanely relieved to find Chōji and Ino alive and with only minor injuries and their opponent dead from their combined efforts.

He isn't so relieved to learn that Shikamaru is missing and that they haven't seen him since they had gotten separated. Apparently, they had been attacked directly after being separated from Asuma and Shikamaru had disappeared in the ensuing chaos. Ino and Chōji look at him with wide, worried eyes and, finally, Chōji asks quietly, "Do you think he's okay, Sensei?"

"That's what I'm going to find out. You two take to the trees and stay hidden. Don't come out until you hear my signal. Do you understand?"

"Hai, Sensei!" They chorus together before doing as Asuma said.

Asuma watches them for a moment before turning and taking to the trees himself. He's got a student to find and if that kid has been hurt then someone is going to die a slow, painful death...

* * *

(Shikamaru's(Hyo's) POV)

Hyo watches his prey enters the clearing through his lowered lashes. If she could have seen him, she would have seen him lying there on his stomach as if he had no care in the world; she would have seen deceptively sleepy, half-mast eyelids concealing dark eyes. She would have seen a lie. Hyo shifts slowly, silently, until his weight is settled onto the balls of his feet and the fingertips of his left hand. All the muscles in his arms, shoulders and legs bunch in anticipation. His bare toes dig into the earth beneath him to give him more purchase for his lunge.

'Just a little bit closer,' his mind supplies. 'Just a little bit closer and she will be in my range.'

His breaths are so slow and even that he can barely hear them, his heartbeat is steady, his emotions shut down. All that is left is the predator, the animal that the scientist, Hojo, had created. He feels no joy in this, no blood lust. All he can feel is calm surety that this woman will die soon by his hands. Hyo's eyes close in a slow blink as the woman passes by him. She is merely centimeters away from discovering him.

She turns slowly, trying to determine where he went. That's all it takes. Hyo explodes from the bush and is on her back before she can even begin to turn. His kunai slides under her chin as he jerks her head back by her hair with his left hand and then Hyo slits her throat in one swift, fluid motion. She is choking on her own blood sooner than she can figure out what has just happened.

Hyo slides off of the Iwa Kunoichi's back as her knees give out and he watches, emotionlessly, as she tries to staunch the bleeding. He crouches down beside her and her eyes widen as he stares down at her. Finally, in a flat voice, he says, "You shouldn't have come after me. It was a forgone conclusion that you would die if you got in my way. And you did, which left me with one of two choices. One, I let you live and you go after my leap or, two, I kill you and keep my leap safe. I think my decision is obvious."

He watches as the woman's eyes begin to dim, the light in them fading quickly. Before the light in her eyes dies Hyo murmurs, "I would have let you live if you had walked away. Regardless, I hope you find peace in the Lifestream."

The former AVALANCHE member stands and walks away. His work is done and his leap is safe from this particular threat. All that's left to do is to find them and ascertain their health and safety from the other threats. Hyo gathers his discarded items and looks back once before disappearing back into the underbrush of the forest, the faintest gleam of regret and sadness stealing over the dark, glowing depths of his eyes. He may be merciless when it come to killing his enemies, but he has never taken any joy in their pain or suffering.

Hyo takes a small measure of comfort from the fact that the Iwa Kunoichi's death had been quick.

 

* * *

(Asuma's POV)

The scent of blood catches his attention right before his missing student suddenly slips out of the underbrush - and into his line of sight - like a wraith from the shadows. There is blood on the kid's right hand and his features are more closed off than Asuma's ever seen. The Genin ghosts through the trees before suddenly looking up. Their eyes catch and Asuma is take aback by the weight and the eerie glow in his student's dark eyes. The Nara doesn't say anything, he just keeps watching Asuma.

And then Asuma recognizes it, that weight in Shikamaru's eyes. It's sadness, but not the fond, wistful kind of sadness the Nara has displayed when working in his gardens. No, this is the sadness that comes from taking a life. Asuma slips down to the ground and slowly walks over to him student. He carefully, cautiously, lays his hands on the boy's shoulders. He keeps his voice soft as he calls the kid's name in a questioning tone, "Shikamaru?"

The kid doesn't answer, but his eyes close and he leans into the support of Asuma's hands with an exhausted sigh. Concern rips through the Jōnin and he kneels down to pull the kid closer, wrapping the Nara in a loose hug. "It's okay, I'm here, kiddo. I've got you. I've got you."

Asuma doesn't know how long he holds his student while the kid pulls himself together, but, in the end, it doesn't matter. Eventually, Shikamaru rests the entirety of his weight against Asuma and Asuma doesn't hesitate to pick the kid up like he would a small child. Shikamaru doesn't even so much as twitch in protest. Instead, a small shiver runs through the younger male and Asuma hopes that the kid can hold on long enough for him to gather the rest of his Genin. He needs to get them somewhere safe and secluded from any more potential threats. They had all made their first kills today. That means none of them are okay.

 

* * *

(Ino's POV)

Asuma takes the first watch that night and Ino can't help but be grateful as she curls around Chōji. The chubby Genin is noticeably upset, tears trickling down his face quietly. After all, he _had_ helped her kill a man today. She remembers the way she had reacted after her first kill. It hadn't been pretty. She looks over to where Shikamaru has curled up against a tree.

The Nara is closed off in both facial expression and body language. His only sign of distress, the only clue to the storm that must be roiling under his stony visage, is the way he keeps turning the small item in his hands over and over. Again and again and again. A strange, crystalline orb that she occasionally catches flashes of in the firelight. Sometimes, Ino can almost swear that the orb in question is glowing. She dismisses it as a trick of the firelight flickering over the orb.

 

* * *

(Shikamaru's POV)

Shikamaru knows that Ino is watching him. He knows that Asuma must be as well, but he can't find the strength needed to respond to their worry. He's so damn tired, but more than that... he's... he's just unbearably sad. Memories flicker across his mind the way the light of the fire does over his skin, light and shadows intertwined. He stares down at the green orb in his hands, twisting it around and around and around. Over and over again as if it would give the answers he sought if he turned it _just one more time._

But he knows that the answers won't come, not from an inanimate object and grief rolls through him like a rising tide. He stubbornly holds back the tears that gather in his nearly closed eyes as he sends out a silent lament to the family he had lost. 'I miss all of you _so fucking much_.'

They won't answer, they can't. He knows that, but it doesn't stop him from praying over that slightly glowing green orb. And he prays fiercely, with all his heart, for some small measure of peace in the face of a past that seems to have followed him. Shikamaru prays that his family is watching over him, that they can hear him, as he turns the healing materia in his hands around and around and around again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *A group of leopards is called a leap.
> 
> Even though it isn't stated when Shikamaru found it, it can be inferred that the materia was found shortly before Asuma found him.
> 
> I know that I've mentioned that Shikamaru|Hyo is fairly dark, but I decided to really go into detail about that. And, as you've seen, it takes up a large portion of this chapter. But, while he does have this darkness, Shikamaru|Hyo is also someone that is tragically sad. He's trying to move on, but, as it always goes with loss, some things can bring that pain back. Can make it brand new all over again.
> 
> I can tell you that from personal experience.
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you think of this chapter. What were your reactions to this chapter? I truly hope you will let me know.


	25. In Pieces (Alternatively, Fragments of the Past Part Two)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still trying to get back into the practice of updating regularly after that nasty case of writer's block. I forgot to mention to chapters back that my sister and her kids moved out a while back. Unfortunately, them moving didn't get rid of the writer's block. 
> 
> That distinction goes to Alrtist, Awayandlaughing, Atardisbluenight, and my RP partner, hyuga-au-neji, on Tumblr. If any of you guys are reading this chapter, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I really appreciate all of your help!
> 
> A shout out to all my reviewers - You guys are awesome. 
> 
> To my lurkers in the dark - Come into the light, my friends! I don't bite and I'll be happy to see you!
> 
> By the way when you come to the * in the latter part of the story, I recommend looking up Sleepsong by Secret Garden on YouTube. This chapter has also turned out to longer than I expected because it didn't want to end for quite some time.

(Asuma's POV)

Taking the first watch that night was a given for Asuma. His kid's aren't in the best of places and - while he wants nothing more than to gather them all up and cuddle them until they stop looking so damned heartbroken - it kills him that there's nothing that he can do for them unless they choose to talk. Ino seems to be taking the events of the day better than her teammates, but Asuma sees how she's constantly touching Chōji, who hasn't stopped crying, and how she keeps looking at Shikamaru. She's worried about both of them and hurting because Shikamaru has distanced himself from his team. The kid has drawn so far into himself that Asuma doesn't know when he'll come out of the barrier he's built around himself.

Shikamaru is curled against a tree. His head is bowed, his long hair has slid over his right shoulder and is hiding his expression, his legs are drawn up and his arms tucked close to his body. The kid has a small round object in his hands that he keeps turning over and over again. Asuma can't help but wonder what is so important about it that Shikamaru won't put it down for even a moment. Regardless of what the object is, Shikamaru's posture is closed off and it screams 'leave me alone', 'don't touch me', 'stop looking at me'.

Asuma worries and with good reason. That night Chōji wakes up sobbing multiple times. Ino jerks awake at the sound of wood popping and cracking in the fire. Shikamaru doesn't sleep at all. Asuma can tell by the tense lock of the kid's legs.

By morning they are all tired with bruises under their eyes. Chōji's eyes are swollen from all of his crying. Ino's eyes are bloodshot from her lack of sleep. Shikamaru's eyes, though downcast, look red rimmed as if he'd been crying and the dark circles under his eyes are even more prominent than his teammates. Asuma sighs heavily. He doesn't want to push them today, but they have to reach the next outpost.

Ino smiles at him wanly when he approaches the Genin. She's trying to be strong, but there's a weariness to her eyes that she can't hide. Chōji attaches himself to Asuma almost immediately and the Jōnin can't help but think about how he'd once thought that having Genin would the worst thing ever. He doesn't understand how he could have thought that way now. These are _his kids_ and it will be over his _cold, dead body_ that he allows them to be separated from him for any reason other than by their own choice.

* * *

(Shikamaru's POV)

The sedate pace Asuma sets for their travel that day wears on Shikamaru's nerves. He knows that Asuma is worried about all of them. He knows that Chōji and Ino probably appreciate the pace after the disaster that was yesterday. He knows these things, but he can't help but want to move! Shikamaru(Hyo) had made his first kill in years yesterday. He can still feel the familiar tacky, wet heat of blood on his right hand. He can still remember the shock he'd felt at how easy it still was to end the life of another person when he'd finally unlocked his emotions.

And the pain, the grief, he still feels at finding that green healing materia? It tears at the inside of his chest and it feels as new as it had when he'd first awakened to this life he has now. The scars are all ripped open and he wants nothing more than to move and keep moving until he can't go any further. Until the pain in his body overrides the pain in his heart. He wants to be so exhausted that he passes out and doesn't dream of the past, of the should haves, could haves, would haves. He doesn't want to see the dead in his dreams. Doesn't want to see them alive and beautiful and happy _only to wake up and lose them all over again._

His dreams are a cruel fantasy based around a reality that no longer exists. Only in some ways it still does. How else would materia exist in this world? Had the Lifestream recreated the Cetra? Did any of them still live? Or were they nothing more than myth and legend in this day and age?

Shikamaru both does and doesn't want to know. He does because maybe it means that he really will be reunited with his family someday. He doesn't because if the Cetra were gone then it might mean that more than just the Lifestream had relocated. And he can't handle that, can't handle the thought that maybe all of it had been for naught and that he'll wind up fighting a losing battle. Again.

Shikamaru falls deeper into his own thoughts as he and his team travel and he wishes that he could run. He wishes could run so fast and so far that his thoughts will be left behind for an undeterminable amount of time. He's so very tired in mind and spirit that he just wants one moment of oblivion, one moment where he doesn't have to think or feel. He's so deep in his own thoughts that he never sees the worried looks Asuma sends his way. He doesn't see the way Chōji and Ino keep looking at one another, their faces becoming more and more concerned the longer his silence holds.

All Shikamaru can see are the broken pieces of his past. A past that haunts him as surely as any ghost.

* * *

(Asuma's POV)

Asuma is relieved when his team's mission is complete and, while he's still worried as hell, he pushes them hard to get back to Konoha. To his surprise, Shikamaru takes to the pace like a duck to water. The kid doesn't complain or even look unhappy at how fast they are moving. Chōji and Ino don't complain either, but he sees the way they lean on one another when he allows them to rest. Shikamaru, on the other hand, can't seem to sit still.

He paces and seems to be turning himself inside out with the need to move, to push forward. It's very out of character for the kid, but then again, he had killed someone. Asuma has already talked to Ino and Chōji about their kill by this time, but Shikamaru has been utterly silent since he'd found the kid with blood on his hand. Asuma wishes that he could get a peek into the kid's head to get a better idea of where the Nara is mentally and emotionally. He knows that it isn't going to happen and hopes that Nara Shikaku is up to the challenge of working out the knots his kid has tied himself into.

* * *

(Shikamaru's POV)

Shikamaru is relieved to see the gates of Konoha less than a week after the incident with the Iwa Shinobi. He hasn't been able to find rest even with the harsh pace that Asuma had set on their way back. Every time he thought he would be able to sleep the dreams had come. Just as Shikamaru had known they would. He needs to get away from his team for awhile, needs the peace of mind that only the harshest of training schedules can give.

He doesn't really pay attention to anything except putting one foot in front of the other. He just needs to last through the meeting with the Hokage and then he'll be able to do what he needs to do. Tension works it's way into his shoulders, tightens his jaw into a painful clench, bunches the muscles of his legs. He's almost vibrating with it and a migraine begins to pulse to his heartbeat. He ignores the pain with practiced ease.

A hand landing on his shoulder has him jerking back with a rumbling snarl and suddenly Sarutobi Hiruzen is there kneeling in front of him with dark, worried eyes.

"Are you okay, Shikamaru-kun?" The Hokage doesn't try to touch him again.

Shikamaru struggles to understand for a moment. He's been immersed in his own thoughts long enough that his own language sounds unfamiliar. Then he remembers, Midgardian Standard isn't spoken here. He opens his mouth to speak, closes it, tries again. Finally, he his voice comes out as a rasping growl, "No, not okay."

A full body shudder causes him to lock his muscle and he grits out, "Need to pass the fuck out. Can't 'cause 'm not tired enough."

Hiruzen's eyes sharpen with understanding. "Will you be capable of turning in your report after you've managed to rest?"

Shikamaru nods once, jerkily. The elderly Hokage sighs and gestures to the window. "I'm certain that going through the whole building again will do you no good, so you may leave through the window just this one time. But rest assured, Shikamaru, I will be expecting your report once your father tells me that you are coherent enough to do so. Have I made myself clear?"

"Yes." Shikamaru doesn't hesitate to disappear once the man moves.

* * *

(Neji's POV)

Neji has just entered the training ground he normally uses for his private training when he realizes that it's already occupied. By Nara Shikamaru no less. Neji's eyes widen as he takes in the trashed clearing and the Nara who is going through sword kata with sweat pouring down his face and bare chest. It's obvious that he's been here for quite some time since the Nara's skin is clearly starting to take on a hue that screams sunburn and the other male's ribs are heaving with each gasping breath he takes. It's clear that he's over exerted himself, but, for some reason unknown to Neji, the darker male is pushing himself to the point of collapse.

Neji carefully edges around the Nara until he is in the other's line of sight and he holds his hand up in a sign of peace when those dark eyes snap up to stare at the Hyūga. He waits patiently as the Nara continues to stare. He'll wait however long is necessary if it keeps the other male calm. Finally, the Nara's tension breaks with a shiver of his shoulders and he swallows heavily as the practice sword lowers. The Nara lets out a breath that shakes as his eyes close.

Neji takes an audible, yet cautious, step forward. When the Nara doesn't react, Neji takes another step forward and then another. Slowly, steadily, he moves forward until he's able to touch the Nara. Neji's fingertips skim over the Nara's knuckles before his hands gently peel bloodied fingers away from the hilt of the practice sword. He carefully tosses the practice sword to one side and, softly, he murmurs, "You've certainly done a number on your hands. They will need bandages and time to heal before you pick up that practice sword again."

He lifts his eyes from the Nara's damaged hands to try and assess the younger male's mood. There are dark bruises from a clear lack of sleep under those closed off eyes. The bruises are so dark, in fact, that they look painful. He'd seen the Nara exhausted before the other had gone missing, but never this badly. Neji skims his palms lightly over the Nara's forearms and then, when he doesn't react beyond an exhausted shiver, over his biceps to his shoulders.

The shivers are more prominent now and Neji gently applies pressure to Nara's shoulders. Neji isn't surprised when the Nara's knees buckle in a controlled decent. He follows the other down, gracefully folding his legs underneath himself. Neji removes his hands and takes medical supplies and a small canteen out of his pouch. He carefully turns the Nara's hands over to pour the water over them and the Nara's fingers twitch. Neji looks up quickly, but the Nara remains still and silent under his concerned gaze.

"Does it hurt?" Neji keeps his voice soft. Something is telling him that moving too fast or speaking too loudly will cause the Nara to react badly, perhaps even violently. He watches as the other slowly shakes his head.

Neji doesn't believe him, but he nods anyway and says, "Okay. Is it all right for me to finish cleaning your wounds?"

The darker skinned male nods and Neji continues. He tears off some bandages to use as a sponge and gently wipes away the blood and water. The Nara's hands have large sores from practicing for so long that blisters had formed, popped and widened. Neji winces, he doesn't know what had caused the Nara to literally train until he was bleeding, but it couldn't have been anything good. Once he has the Nara's hands as dry as possible, Neji begins to dab the ointment that Hinata had made onto the sores as well as the reddened areas that may form blisters too.

The Nara is quiet throughout his treatment and Neji only looks up once he's done bandaging his hands. The Nara is looking at him when he does and Neji takes a slow, deep breath to hide his surprise. He blinks as the younger male stares at him and continues to take slow, deep breaths. The best thing to do in a situation like this is to stay calm and allow the other to set the pace from here. The other male's eyes are so very dark, Neji notices, dark and still and steady in a way that is no where near childish.

Finally, something flickers through the depths of those too dark eyes and they close as his blank expression begins to break. The Nara quietly rasps out, "I'm... tired."

Somehow, Neji gets the feeling that he's talking about more than the physical exhaustion that is shaking the lithe male's frame. Neji takes a moment to consider his options before he slowly reaches up with his right hand. He carefully lays it on the Nara's shoulder again and the Nara lets out another shaking breath. Slowly, he moves his hand until he is cradling the back of the Nara's neck. He cautiously digs his fingertips into the knotted muscles there and the Nara jerks sharply, his lashes flickering, before he slowly relaxes again.

He loosens his grip before tightening it again. His actions gain him a shudder, but the Nara doesn't try to pull away. He does it again, then again, slowly adding pressure until the Nara is leaning against him and his forehead is on Neji's right shoulder. The Nara's breaths are still shivering out of him with every inhale and exhale, but slowly, surely, he is relaxing under Neji's experienced fingers. He keeps doing this until the Nara is completely limp against him and his breaths are deep and even.

It takes him a moment to realize that the reason why the other is so still is because the Nara is passed out, dead to the world in sleep. Neji carefully shifts the Nara so that he can move the other male into a more comfortable position and somehow winds up cradling the smaller male in his arms as he tries to determine where to go from here. Finally, Neji chooses to settle down against a tree with the Nara settled in his lap, his head pillowed on the Hyūga's shoulder. Neji's eyes soften as TenTen's words suddenly begin to run through his mind again. He remembers the Nara's too dark eyes and wonders, yet again, what possibly could have happened to Nara Shikamaru after he had been announced MIA.

* * *

(Midgar - Aerith's POV)

Aerith digs her fingers into the loose soil of the flower bed in the abandoned church of Sector Five as lantern light plays over her and the white and yellow flowers. Her eyes are clouded over in worry. A week ago, the most desperate emotional cry she's ever experienced had ripped through the Lifestream. It had shocked and distressed her so much that she had been unable to respond to the bitter sadness and loneliness immediately. By the time she had recovered, it was already too late. The person in question was constantly on the move and their mental state had made it impossible for her to connect with them.

Since then, Aerith has been keeping tabs on the roiling mass of emotions. Aerith takes a deep breath and lets her consciousness become one with the Lifestream, gently asking the Planet to guide her and keep her safe on her spiritual journey. She drifts along the currets of the Lifestream until she finally reaches the focal point of the cry. She gathers her strength and gently parts the barrier between realms and Aerith would have cried had she still been in a physical form. For there, in her view, is the missing family member she and the rest of AVALANCHE have been missing so much. Hyo is much as she remembers, only now he is so much younger.

As it is, Aerith can do nothing but watch, grief stricken, as she watches her Kitten and as another young man shifts himself into the warrior's line of sight. His hands are held up in a universal sigh of meaning no harm. They both look so young, but Hyo looks _tired_. She senses the mild spike of violence that shoots through Hyo and she reaches out to calm him. She whispers, "No. No, Hyo. He doesn't mean you any harm, sweetie. He just wants to help."

She isn't sure whether she's managed to reach him, but Hyo suddenly shivers and his lashes sweep down. The bruises under his eyes are so dark and she can feel how tired he is now. The exhaustion runs so deep that it is physically painful for him to keep standing, but his emotional distress and grief won't allow him to rest. As the other boy reaches out to Hyo, Aerith pulls upon her powers further. She reaches for her endless love and affection for her littlest brother and pushes it out towards the grieving man in a child's body.

It wraps around Hyo just as the pale eyed boy lays his hands on her brother's own hand and she feels Hyo's will to keep standing start to crumble. When the other boys applies gentle pressure to Hyo's shoulders, he sinks down with the other boy. Aerith watches as the boy cleans and treats her brother's self inflicted wounds. She knows that they are self inflicted because she'd seen him train during their journey to stop Sephiroth. He'd often had similar wounds that she had treated more than once.

Sadness flows through her as she hears her brother speak for the first time without forcing the words out, without the pain that speaking had brought him. His voice is hoarse and rasping and oh so tired, but not unpleasant. She remembers when his voice was a growl that had grated against his vocal cords and she's grateful that Hyo will never have to be under Hojo's scalpel ever again.

She closes her eyes and her voice sobs out, "Oh, my sweet Kitten, I'm so sorry we can't be there with you. But I promise, one day we'll all come to you and we'll be a family again. I know it's hard, but just wait for us a little longer. Once we've completed our mission, we'll come home to you. I swear!"

She curls the weight of this promise around him and does her best to give him what little support she can from where she is. It isn't much, but she prays to Minerva that it will be enough to keep him going. She prays that Hyo will find someone to anchor him and support him. And, as she opens her eyes and watches as the pale eyed boy gently starts to guide her brother into sleep, she prays that he'll take this moment with him when he wakes up. To that end, Aerith tightens her spiritual hold on her brother and begins to sing*.

" _Lay down your head and I'll sing you a lullaby_  
_Back to the years of loo-li lai-lay_  
_And I'll sing you to sleep and I'll sing you tomorrow_  
_Bless you with love for the road that you go._

 _May you sail fair to the far fields of fortune_  
_With diamonds and pearls at your head and your feet_  
_And may you need never to banish misfortune_  
_May you find kindness in all that you meet._

 _May there always be angels to watch over you_  
_To guide you each step of the way_  
_To guard you and keep you safe from all harm_  
_Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay..._ "

* * *

(Konoha - Shikamaru's POV)

When someone, a Hyūga no less, steps into Shikamaru's line of sight, he isn't feeling very charitable. He's tired, upset, and on the verge of a mental breakdown. He doesn't want to deal with people and he almost says as much, almost opens his mouth to let go of a cutting remark, but something tells him to stop, to wait, as the boy raises his hands. He watches the Hyūga as the pale eyed boy stares back and a shudder tears through him as Shikamaru finally closes his eyes to shield himself from that penetrating gaze. He feels far too raw and torn open to keep looking into those opalescent eyes.

He hears the boy take a step. There is a moment of hesitation and then he hears another step and then another, a whisper of sandals through the grass. He's far too tired to fight by the time the Hyūga touches his hands and gently starts to pry his aching fingers away from the hilt they are so tightly clenched around. The Hyūga removes the practice sword from his hands and he hears it hit the ground as the boy murmurs in a soft voice, "You've certainly done a number on your hands. They will need bandages and time to heal before you pick up that practice sword again."

The open wounds begin to throb and sting now that they are exposed to the air, but the pain is distant, barely noticeable to someone who has suffered through far worse. He doesn't answer the Hyūga, he doesn't have the strength to. He feels the Hyūga's hands settle briefly at his wrists before the other male's palms skim over his forearms. It almost feels like the Hyūga is checking for more injuries than the ones on his hands and fingers. Shikamaru shivers as the Hyūga's hands reach his biceps and he thinks somewhat darkly, 'You aren't going to find anymore injuries. Not unless you have some way to expose a person's soul. Gods, I'm so tired...'

Then those hands are settling on his shoulders, just as gentle as before, but with an insistent pressure. His exhaustion peaks and Shikamaru stops fighting it. He lets himself be pressed down, his knees giving out as his strength fails him. He doesn't open his eyes as he listens to the Hyūga shift around and the faint rustling of paper. The sound of a lid being unscrewed catches his attention just before cool water flows over his hands. Shikamaru feels his fingers twitch as the stinging in his hands briefly becomes stabbing.

"Does it hurt?"

'No,' he thinks. And truly it doesn't. He doesn't register pain the way other people do. In fact, he pretty much used to a base line level of discomfort. Minor wounds like these don't even get a number to help describe how much pain he might be in. Well, maybe they would, but it would be a negative number. Then he remembers that he was just asked a question. Shikamaru shakes his head in answer.

He doesn't think the Hyūga believes him, but the other male says nothing. Instead, he just turns his attention back to Shikamaru's hands. The faintest bit of curiosity has the Nara's eyes opening to watch the other boy as he bows his head to get a better look at the wounds. The Hyūga is as gentle as he can possibly be as he cleans each wound thoroughly before uncapping a small container of some sort of salve. The Hyūga coats it rather thickly over the open sore and applies a lighter coat to the reddened areas of his hands and fingers.

Shikamaru blinks slowly as the Hyūga proceeds to bandage his hand with the deft easiness of an expert. His eyes drift to the bandages covering Hyūga's right hand and muses that the other probably is an expert. It would take a lot of practice to get bandages that neat by yourself. When the Hyūga finishes, he starts to look up and Shikamaru doesn't have the strength to force himself to look away. He watches as the Hyūga blinks and for a long moment they just watch each other.

The longer he watches the Hyūga, the more obvious it becomes that the other male isn't going to break the silence any time soon. Which is...nice? Yes, it's nice to know that the other doesn't intend to push Shikamaru into talking before he's ready to do so. Finally, Shikamaru closes his eyes and rasps out, "I'm... tired."

It's a statement, a confession, that encompasses so much more than his physical exhaustion. He's so tired that he aches down to the very marrow of him bones. He's heartsore and world weary and so very done with trying to be strong. The Hyūga settles a hand on his left shoulder and Shikamaru wonders what the other male sees in him that he would offer this much comfort to a complete stranger. The exhausted shaking that he's been trying to hold back is getting stronger and he shudders as the hand on his shoulder smooths up and around to the back of his neck.

The Hyūga's fingertips begin to dig into the back of his neck and Shikamaru jerks at the pain that flares up under the Hyūga's grip, but also partially due to alarm. Then the grip slackens and the pain eases, but... it doesn't fade the way pain normally does for him and, suddenly, Shikamaru is acutely aware of the tension he carries in his neck, his shoulders, his back. The Hyūga's grip tightens again and Shikamaru shudders as the pain flares and eases yet again. The next time the other male's grip tightens, Shikamaru is ready for it and he decides that perhaps this isn't so bad.

By the time Shikamaru realizes that he's slipping, it's already too late and Shikamaru allows the black oblivion that reaches for him to take him without a fight as the strains of a barely remembered lullaby flit through his fading consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, because I am emotionally drained by this. Urgh...It didn't want to end.
> 
> But you get some treats this chapter. Neji and Shikamaru meet "officially" for the first time. Aerith does her best to help her baby brother now that he has a physical part of the Lifestream with him. Shikamaru finally calms down enough to actually pass the heck out.
> 
> This meeting between Neji and Shikamaru will be the start of their friendship, not the start of a romantic relationship between them. That's still some years down the road, because Shikamaru looks at Neji and, since he doesn't know that Neji is kind of like him in the fact that the Hyūga is a man in a child's body, he sees a kid. Neji is the same except for the fact that he suspects that Shikamaru is definitely more than people think he is. However, Shikamaru's body is still that of a child's and that isn't his thing. So there is no immediate or mutual physical attraction to each other.
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you think about this chapter. What part did you like most? What do you think could have been better?
> 
> Again, I'm talking to my lurkers in the dark too! So please don't be shy and let me know what you think!


	26. Flashbacks (Alternatively, The Things I Don't Remember)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No beginning notes. Except for the fact that I have procrastinated writing this chapter like a mf***er.
> 
> I lied. Expect to want to cuddle poor Shikamaru.
> 
> Carry on.

(Shikamaru's POV)

It is difficult to open his eyes when Shikamaru wakes up. His eyelashes feel like they've been glued together, his mouth feels like it is filled with cotton, and his limbs feel heavy. Despite those minor discomforts, Shikamaru is warm and the sense of safety that surrounds him would have pulled him back down into sleep if not for one thing. The place where he is resting...is moving... Shikamaru's head comes up and he tries to roll only to find himself unable to move due to someone's arm tightening around his shoulders.

"Easy, Nara," a deep, yet still young, voice says softly. "Your safe. Do you remember me bandaging your hands?"

Shikamaru goes still and he tilts his head towards the voice since his eyes are still shut from the gunk caking his lashes. He frowns as he thinks back and then he remembers. In a sleep hoarse voice the Nara asks, "Hyūga? You're still here? How long have I been out?"

"Did you expect me to leave you here on your own? Who knows what could have happened to you whilst you slumbered. And based on the position of the moon, you've been out for somewhere around twelve hours. It's about 4:30 AM right now."

Shikamaru sucks in a sharp breath, but, before he can say anything, the Hyūga starts to shift and the Nara reaches out blindly to try and steady himself.

"I've got you, Nara. You're not going to fall. Besides, I'm just moving so I can put you down. Your eyes need cleaning, correct?"

"Ah...yes?" Shikamaru doesn't know why this boy is so concerned about him. It doesn't make any sense to him. His brows unconsciously draw down in his confusion and he both hears and feels the Hyūga chuckle.

"Thinking hard, Nara?"

Shikamaru snorts and answers honestly, "More like I'm very confused. Why would you do all of this for a complete stranger? What's in it for you?"

The Hyūga goes still for a moment in the process of setting Shikamaru down on the ground. Then he completes the movement while saying, "That's a very pessimistic view you have on people, Nara. Not everyone wants something in return for being kind. And that's what this is. Me being kind to someone who clearly needs a little kindness after whatever it was that pushed you to the point you were at when I found you. Nothing more, nothing less.

"I don't expect you to spill your secrets or for you to do me any favors. If anything, I probably owe you a favor. If you hadn't been there at the Academy that day when Shimura was there... I shudder to think about what might have happened to Hinata-sama or any other child."

Shikamaru jolts a little, both at the mention of Danzo and the fact that something cool and wet brushes over his eyelids. A hand gently grasps his chin to hold his face still. "Please stay still. I would hate to accidentally hurt you simply because you moved suddenly and my hand slipped. I do not imagine that having a cloth jabbing into your eye would be very pleasant."

Shikamaru frowns, but settles down to allow the Hyūga to continue. "You know Hinata?"

"Yes, she is my cousin. You did not know that?"

Shikamaru's brow furrows slowly as he remembers Hinata mentioning a male cousin. "She's mentioned you, but I don't think we were ever introduced. You... Your name is Hyūga Neji, yes?

"That's right. And Hinata-sama has mentioned you to me fairly often. You, Nara Shikamaru, are the lazy genius who can't tolerate bullies," the now named Hyūga Neji says, his voice sounding amused. "There, try to open your eyes now."

Shikamaru slowly cracks open his eyes ever so slightly. He begins to blink rapidly as built up fluid starts to spill over his cheeks and the Nara wrinkles his nose in disgust. He rasps out, "No wonder my eyes feel like crap. I had that mess built up under my eyelids."

The Hyūga hums softly as he touches the wet cloth to his face and gently cleans away the mess. "Yes, I imagine it would be uncomfortable. Though, I do think it's understandable considering the condition I found you in. I'm honestly surprised that you're already awake after yesterday. How does your skin feel?"

Shikamaru opens his eyes to stare at the Hyūga, confusion catching him again. "My skin?"

"You already looked like you were fairly sunburned by the time I came to the training ground. Are you saying that you don't feel it?" The Hyūga's face become worried.

Shikamaru blinks at him, utterly baffled by the other male's genuine concern. He frowns again as he focuses on his body. His features become thoughtful as he picks up on the tight heat that feels as if it is stretching his skin. Shikamaru is quick to decide that it is mildly uncomfortable, but not much more than that. He focuses on the Hyūga again and shrugs, saying, "It's not that bad."

The Hyūga lifts a dark brow in disbelief. "Not that bad? Are you being serious? A sunburn like that can have severe consequences, Nara."

Shikamaru sighs and leans back against the tree behind him. It causes his sunburned back and shoulders to sting and itch, but he ignores it. "I get that you're worried, I don't understand why, but I get that you are. Regardless, you need to know that I don't really register pain like other people do.

"I'm pretty much used to having a constant baseline for discomfort due to my training and the fact that I am always carrying some sort of tension. I also have a mild headache that never goes away. For me, pain isn't something that really bothers me. At least, not if isn't on the list of things that make me say ow. I have a very high tolerance for pain."

He pulls his legs up and leans forward to wrap his arms around his knees. He drops his chin down onto them as he watches the Hyūga process his words. Finally, the older male asks, "Just how high of a tolerance for pain are you talking about?"

Shikamaru blinks, not expecting that question. He answers it after getting over his surprise. "I wasn't lying when I shook my head no after you asked me if the wounds on my hands were bothering me while you were tending to them. The twitch was an automatic and subconscious response to my body noticing the wounds, but I, myself, wouldn't have really bnoticed unless you were deliberately doing something to cause me pain. It pretty much didn't land on my 1-10 scales, more like in the negatives."

The Hyūga male's features turn thoughtful before he says, "Have you ever asked your parents to have you tested for a nervous system disorder? Because it certainly sounds like one."

Shikamaru stiffens before he can stop the reaction. His breath halts and(-there are needles in uncomfortable areas of his body. And blood, so much blood all around him. His arms have been laid open to the bone and he can hear Hojo muttering about variables and healing factors as he struggles to stay awake, to stay aware- -he's burning... It feels as if liquid fire has been injected into his veins and he all wants to do _is tear the sensation out of himself._ The madman scientist is standing over him watching his suffering without even a hint of remorse as he pulls at the restraints that are holding his hands above his head and as he strains against the ones holding him down until he has torn open his own skin, until he is bleeding. It's not _enough..._ The burning won't _stop-_

(-there is a sound, almost a sensation, of something breaking... He laboriously turns his head as black begins to edge into his vision. Cracking glass and a pair of glowing blue pools tinted silver with tears fill what is left of his vision. The cracks spread and he wonders whether or not the cracks represent his own mind. His vision begins to fade entirely as he thinks towards the man breaking the glass he is trapped behind, 'It's okay...to go this way... This way where... it's obvious that I'm not alone, because you cared enough to try... I'm...okay dying this way...'-)

A sudden pain flaring across his face has him gasping as he becomes aruptly aware of reality. Hyūga Neji is kneeling in front of him with his hands gripping his shoulders tightly. His pale eyes are wide and worried and Shikamaru can't understand why it seems like he can't draw in enough air all of a sudden. His chest aches in a way that says he had been holding his breath and a migraine has flaired from the once minor headache it had once been. The strangest thing about all of it is that he can't remember how things had gotten to this point.

The last thing he remembers is the Hyūga asking if he has a disorder, then...nothing. His mind is completely blank between then and now. Shikamaru leans back, trying to get air into what feels like constricted lungs. He wants to lean forward to attempt to ease the tightness, but experience tells him that is the last thing he needs to do(-the coughing fits are strong enough to nearly break his ribs and he _can't breath._ He hacks loudly, hoping that the pressure that has lodged itself in his chest will _ease_ and blood suddenly spatters over his glove clad hand as his lungs protest the harsh punishment they'd just gone through. Hyo curls over his knees, gasping, and his breaths rattle wetly in his chest. If the Stigma doesn't kill him, the complications will).

The Hyūga is still watching him worriedly and, as his breaths deepen and even out, Shikamaru gives him a small, tired smile. He murmurs, "I'm okay now. You can let go."

* * *

(Neji's POV)

Neji doesn't know what he had been expecting after the Nara woke up, but certainly wasn't this. He isn't exactly sure what it is that had set Nara Shikamaru off, but Neji recognizes trauma flashbacks when he sees them. And it's obvious that Shikamaru has stopped being here with Neji mentally after... Oh, oh gods, no... The Hyūga's eyes widen as his mind replays the last thing he'd said to the Nara. He looks at the Nara with panic rising in his chest.

The Nara is utterly still, not even breathing, and his eyes are wide and blank as terrors unseen play out in his mind. Neji acts, bracing one hand on the Nara's shoulder and pulls the other back. His hand cracks against the other male's cheek. Shikamaru gasps and almost folds over. The Nara stops himself from doing that, leaning back as he tries to take deeper breaths. The action speaks of experience and Neji wonders how many times Shikamaru has found himself in this position.

When the Nara smiles at him - a small, tired, haunted thing - and tells him that he is okay, Neji thinks, 'Liar...', but can't bring himself to call the other out on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Understand now why I said to expect to want to cuddle Shikamaru?
> 
> You guys know that he had been the labs and that it had been bad, but now you've gotten to see a portion of what he experienced through his own eyes.
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you think about this chapter. Even if it's just wild sobbing or what have you!


	27. Further Contemplation (Alternatively, On Past and Present)

(Shikamaru's POV)

Shikamaru has gained a second shadow... The older male has apparently made it his life's mission to watch over Shikamaru ever since the day he'd been found by Hyūga Neji. He _keeps_ showing up whenever Shikamaru is outside of his Clan's ground's and normally the Nara would be freaked out by the fact that he seems to have a stalker, but... it's nice... Weird, but nice to know that someone cares enough to want to watch over him. Which is even weirder for him because Shikamaru is an extremely private person.

But Hyūga Neji doesn't hover, he doesn't fuss, he's... just there. His presence is solidly and silently there at his back(so much like Vincent who watched over AVALANCHE from afar when it wasn't necessary for him to be close by) and it's soothing to have someone there after so long. Shikamaru can relax his guard for the first time in years with someone other than his family or friends. While he trusts Asuma more than he used to, Asuma is someone who likes to pry. Oh he's certainly careful about it and he doesn't push hard. If Shikamaru avoids a line of questioning entirely, Asuma will eventually drop it.

Neji, on the other hand, hasn't attempted to pry, just like the other male had promised. Shikamaru has found himself either training, cloud watching, or napping in the Hyūga's presence without the other making even a single comment towards the two days that he'd been so out of it for. Neji sometimes sits with the Nara, quietly pointing out shapes in the clouds or brings a game board for shōgi or Go so they can play against one another. He's more than a decent player too and Shikamaru has to work for his wins just like when he plays against his father. Other days, Neji chooses to train or meditate while Shikamaru chooses to do whatever it is that he feels like doing.

Which, of course, eventually gets him an amused look and a comment of him being very cat-like. Especially after Neji finds him sprawled over a large branch, lounging much like the predator he'd formerly been named for with his eyes half-mast and sleepy. The Hyūga seems to like teasing him about his cat-like ways and actively looks for opportunities to call him out on them. It's... amusing and odd, but somehow their strange partnership? works well for the two of them. But it also comes with it's more unfortunate moments.

Like Neji's team. To be more specific these unfortunate moments include Rock Lee and Maito Gai... They are...loud...and very eccentric and the Nara is unsure how to deal with them beyond hiding up a tree as high as he can.TenTen, on the other hand, is a whole different story. She does have her moments, though, when Shikamaru has to rank her right up there with the two 'Beasts of the Leaf'. It doesn't taken TenTen long to learn that the Nara is a swordsman and that is when he learns that she can be just as bad as the other two.

The Kunoichi had actually _squealed_ when she saw Shikamaru practicing with his practice sword and had promptly unsealed plethora of weapons, a great deal of them extremely sharp. TenTen had pushed sword after sword at him until the Nara finally had a katana that felt comfortable in his hands. She'd then proceeded to demand that he spar with her and hadn't let up until he agreed. In the end, though, Shikamaru can honestly say that he'd had fun pitting himself against the Weapon's Mistress. She isn't quite up to his level of skill yet, but Shikamaru knows that it is only because she doesn't devote herself to one weapon main, rather she learns as much as she can about a weapon before picking up another.

TenTen is almost the complete opposite of Shikamaru who chooses to focus on his swordsmanship and a small assortment of bladed weapons. Bladed weapons that consist of one hunting knife, an small arsenal of throwing knives, one dagger, kunai, shuriken, and ninja wire. He'd carried the former as Hyo and now the latter has been added to his list of weapons that he is more than just passingly familiar with. On top of his bladed weapons, Shikamaru carries a truly frightening amount of explosive tags. He's a firm believer of the overkill method.

Then again, if a person had to deal with seemingly undying opponents, they'd believe in overkill as well. Shikamaru sighs as he leans back against the trunk of the tree that he's recently taken shelter under, his eyes flicking over to where Ino and Chōji are sparring. Asuma is supervising the two other Genin for now, but it looks as if they're almost finished. The Nara hums thoughtfully as he realizes that he's spent the majority of his training period musing over the mystery that is Team Nine's Weapons Mistress and their Hyūga, Neji. It's not unusual for him to spend large quantities of time thinking though.

(As Hyo, he's almost exclusively stuck in his own head. Being unable to speak without extreme difficulties and pain had been impossible. And with Hyo traveling alone so much, finding someone who knew how to communicate in sigh language had been nigh impossible. Then again, Hyo had preferred to not communicate with people he didn't know unless he had no other choice. But back then... back then, Hyo had been hurting and paranoid to the point of avoiding people as much as possible.

It wasn't fair to a great deal of people(he knows that now) but Hyo had had such a hard time determining which people were truly good and who he should steer clear of at all costs. So Hyo had given wide berth to most people up until things had started to go wrong, first with the Stigma, then with the Omega Incident, and finally - years later - when the end had been closing in on him, his family, and the people whom they were protecting. Between those times, Hyo had hunted monsters, explored places he'd never seen before, and helped the occasional traveler who was down on his or her luck. Eventually, he'd settled in the abandoned and ruined shell of Banora, a place where no one came anymore with the sole exception of Zack Fair and the rest of AVALANCHE. Hyo had turned it into his home when he wasn't at Seventh Heaven or traveling.

He'd created a garden there and had turned a small plot of land into farmland. Hyo had raised black Chocobo and his niece and nephews visited as often as they were allowed to due since they had to go to school. The rest of his family visited often when he wasn't traveling to meet them himself. It had been a good life in between the hard time, Shikamaru muses now with a sad smile.)

Asuma's voice breaks him out of his thoughts and Shikamaru stands up to go to his team, leaving his thoughts on the past behind as he walks away...

* * *

(Neji's POV)

Nara Shikamaru is an enigma, Neji decides. On one hand, the Nara acts much the same as he used to. On the other hand, the younger male is so very different in ways that Neji can't properly describe. The one thing that he does know is that someone had severely hurt the Nara. And Neji can't help but wonder if that haunted smile he'd seen that day had been the result of Nara Shikamaru's disappearance.

What also makes him label the Nara as an enigma is how cat-like the younger male is and how he reacts to the Hyūga's team. He'd never seen the Nara rest in a tree that way before he'd gone missing. And by 'that way' Neji means seeing the Nara draped over a branch, flat on his stomach, head lying on a forearm, the other arm out stretched along the branch, one ankle locked around the branch for stability, and the other leg hanging down. To Neji, Shikamaru had looked like nothing more than a lounging black jungle cat sleepily watching the world around him with deceptive lassitude. It's very different to the way he used to see the Nara –sprawled on his back, eyes to the sky, and uncaring of the world around him.

The other reason is the way Shikamaru reacts to his team. The old Nara Shikamaru would avoided working with his team for training like they were plague carriers. This new Nara Shikamaru doesn't. Well, Shikamaru doesn't avoid him or TenTen at least. Gai-sensei and Lee are a different story. In fact, the first time Shikamaru met the two of them had been entirely by accident.

Neji had been with the Nara the first time his team had come looking for him and it had been like watching a skittish cat being confronted by two large and overly friendly dogs. The extraordinarily loud 'Beasts of the Leaf' had startled Shikamaru into going straight up the biggest tree in the clearing and he'd glared down from the highest branch that the Nara could perch on without it breaking under his weight. A very good plan, Neji had determined, to go to the one few places where neither Gai-sensei or Lee could go with their weights. It was one of the most amusing things Neji had ever seen. TenTen had thought so too.

Shikamaru had taken to TenTen much easier then he did to Gai or Lee. Though, the Nara had cringed away from the weapon wielding Kunoichi when she'd learned that he was a swordsman. Her squeal of happiness had been positively eardrum rupturing that day... She had been over the moon when she realized that Shikamaru was just as good with a real blade as he was with his practice sword. It had been like watching two people dance as they had sparred and it was evident that Shikamaru had years of training.

Later, he had spoken to the woman about it and TenTen had told him in all seriousness, "That isn't the skill of a kid who's put in years of training. That's years of training and experience from fighting, Neji. If Shikamaru were just different because of the timeline is a little changed, he wouldn't have experience with the katana. Not real life experience at least. Shikamaru fights like he's battled for his life before, on more than just a few occasions, no less."

And...that fits... It fits the haunted looking smile, the too dark eyes, the pessimistic outlook the Nara has towards people, his confusion towards genuine kindness from strangers, his PTSD induced flashbacks, and his too high pain tolerance. It fits the way Shikamaru trains until his hands bleed, the way he never seems to fail in watching his surroundings(that time with Gai-sensei and Lee excluded), the way he feels like a predator that just isn't interested enough in going after prey despite watching it for hours. It fits with his too mature attitude, his wary and skittish nature, his overprotective ways. It just fits and Neji suddenly finds himself very sad about how well it does.

How much pain would Shikamaru have had to endure to become this way? How bad did things have to be where he was for him to be so very different now? How many times had Shikamaru fought for his life? How many injuries did he have to receive before they just stopped registering as painful? Just how mistreated had the Nara been to no longer trust in the kindness of people?

Neji is sure that the answers to those questions will leave him feeling murderous, especially since he can already guess some of the answers just by watching Shikamaru. And if he's honest with himself, he thinks that the answers are probably worse than he can ever know...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late. I've been distracted as heck. But here it is now. There isn't much talking, but definitely plenty of thoughts from Shikamaru and Neji about each other!
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	28. A Past Once Unspoken (Alternatively, The Fear Within Humanity)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shikaku meets Hyo for the first time and still doesn't know his name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I haven't posted in so damn long. I got caught up in other things, gotten sick twice in a very short time(I'm currently getting better, but still ill at the moment), been dealing with my sister's kids since she moved back in(I have no idea when they are moving out), and have also recently been dealing with the stress of learning that I may lose another of my siblings to failing lungs if my sibling can't get on disability and get on the transplant list. It's been a very stressful time for me and I also put in an application recently for a job. All of that being said, I have not forgotten this and I'm eternally grateful for all of the patience you guys have had with me.

(Shikaku's POV)

 

Watching his oldest son, Shikaku is uncertain of the reason for the young man's turn in attitude. It's nothing drastic, nothing alarming or even disturbing, but it is strange, this sudden peace that Shikamaru seems to have found in the wake of his last C-RANK mission. Before the mission, his son, even with all his friends, had always had this air of loneliness, melancholy, and mild tension that he never seemed to be rid of until now. It had not and still does not make sense, but the peace and tranquility Shikamaru carries now makes even less sense. Why now, after all of these years, is his boy finally relaxing completely? What has changed for his son and why is it so important?

 

He doesn't want to pry, because this is Shikamaru, his boy who is quiet and secretive and so horribly hurt in spirit that Shikaku fears pushing too hard. He fears that he may push away his son, his and Yoshino's miracle who lives up to the stubborn nature he'd had before he'd even been born. And, as if reading his thoughts, his boy looks up from the shōgi board to look him straight in the eyes. After several long seconds, Shikamaru huffs in quiet amusement, a tiny, cat-like noise that Shikaku rolls his eyes at as his son smirks and rasps, "I'm not sure what's got you going in circles, but you can ask if you're that worried. It's not like I'll bite off your head for asking me questions."

 

"I know that, Shikamaru, but you do have a tendency to not answer if you do not wish to talk about something," Shikaku answers.

 

"I'm in a good mood today. If you ask, you may just get an answer. That won't happen if you keep the question to yourself though."

 

Shikaku lets out a hoarse laugh, "I swear, you get more like me every time I turn around."

 

This gets him a barked laugh, a lopsided smile, a warming of those dark, dark eyes from his son(something he still considers a victory to this day) and the boy murmurs as he finally moves his piece forward, "I  _ am _ your son. So it should be obvious that I'm going to be like you. Anyway, are you going to ask or not?"

 

Shikaku sighs softly, trying to figure out how to phrase his question. Eventually the man simply queries, "What changed after that mission? After you came back to the village, but not home?"

 

Shikamaru's eyes shutter and he is quiet for so long that Shikaku begins to think that this is one of those things that the boy will not open up about, but then... he sighs, long and low and maybe even a little tired like. His son's lashes lift minutely and he gets a glimpse of the dark shadows that his boy normally hides from the world. Immediately, Shikaku asks, "Do you want to drop the subject, son?"

 

Shikamaru shakes his head and sighs again before murmuring, "I haven't really told you or kaa-san anything, have I?"

 

Confused, Shikaku draws his head back, canting it to one side slightly to study his child. Eventually he murmurs back, "We have never asked you for more than you're willing to give, Shikamaru. We never will either. Your kaa-san and I understand that you have difficulties in talking about that past of yours and we understand that you may not be able to ever fully tell the whole story or even a quarter of it in the end. We know enough to understand you and that's all we need."

 

Shikamaru smiles sadly, "No, it's not enough. To truly understand, I'd have to tell you the whole story, but that would take a long time and a lot of background story would have to be covered. I can tell you a little though. Enough to give you a glimpse of the world that was."

 

Shikaku nods slowly, "If that's what you want to do son then I'm listening, but don't say anymore then you are comfortable with saying. I don't want you pushing yourself to do this if it causes you too much discomfort."

 

"I know," the smaller, younger Nara rasps, "and that's why I can say anything at all when normally I would say nothing. Anyway, I'm going to start now, but I'll try to answer any questions you have as we go."

 

Shikaku nods and watches as his son leans back a little, eyes drifting away from him, away from the present and into a past that no one else has ever been able to touch. The younger Nara's eyes slip shut and, when they finally open again, it is not Shikamaru who looks out at him. It is the fallen, broken man he'd once been. The man whose name has never been spoken and may never be spoken by anyone in this life. There is silence for a short moment followed by a soft sigh and a statement, "You wanted to know why things changed."

 

"If you are willing to talk about it, yes." Shikaku can't help but think that his son sounds different, more direct and to the point. Perhaps even more mature than he already is. It's easy to see the man in the child. 

 

The man blinks slowly before he nods, "You know that my first kill in this life was made on that C-RANK, yes?"

 

"Of course. Though, technically it wasn't a C-RANK due to the presence of enemy combatants who should have been far above your team’s ability to cope with."

 

"Except they underestimated the lengths we were all willing to go to protect ourselves and our teammates," the other man says simply, maybe even a little flatly. "I have no problem with killing to protect the people I care about. I do not enjoy it, but the weight my conscious bears is minimal. However, that is not the reason behind the suffering my teammates and Asuma saw or my subsequent recovery."

 

He pauses for a moment and then, "I found a remnant, a reminder, of my time where I expected to find none. For all that this life has been helping me learn and grow and heal in ways that time never could, my grief is still a living thing. I lost everything; my world, my home, my family, the people I fought so hard for to protect. All of it forever gone within an instant. Or so I thought until I found that remnant of a time that means nothing to the people here."

 

"Anyway–" the other man waves away his previous words as if they are inconsequential– "that remnant was an emotional shock to me. It tore open wounds that I’d thought were healed enough to no longer bleed, but it is only part of the reason behind the change. The biggest part is due to someone else. I will not name names for the sake of the other's privacy, but they tended to and stayed with me despite not knowing me during the time when I all I felt was emotional exhaustion. More than that, however, is the fact that this person has been unfailing supportive in a way that I had forgotten that I needed ever since then. My friends here are wonderful beyond a shadow of a doubt, but they have a tendency to pry when they think I need to talk. 

 

"And sometimes that is necessary, but more often than not I simply need to have someone there as a distant, yet watchful, presence. The person who found me that day has become that." His lips twitch slightly, the barest hint of a wry smile, as he huffs, "Apparently, I have a pessimistic view when it comes to people and the kindness that they give freely. Though, I don't think I can be blamed for having such an outlook. After all, it's not like many people were kind to people like me out of the goodness of their hearts back when the world was different."

 

"Why? What could you have possibly done to deserve false kindness? And why do you say 'someone like me'?" Shikaku queries, hoping that he is not pushing too hard.

 

“I existed,” the other man says simply and Shikaku would have reared back in shock if not for the fact that the still unnamed male continues without pause. “There were people like me who were stronger, faster, and, sometimes, smarter than the average person. There were ways of telling us apart for other people as well, but that doesn't really matter right now. Point is that people fear and/or hate all that is different from them and what people fear and hate they attack. Or, in my case, they try and fail.

 

“Which either ends in them giving up or becoming more determined in their attacks. But, regardless of how it ends, all the people involved become even more wary of the other side. For someone like me it translated into wanting to be around those who could be considered 'normal’ as little as possible. For the 'normal’ people it means that they would just be more uncomfortable and fearful.” The other man holds up a hand to forestall the words that nearly burst from Shikaku as he smiles bitterly, “I know what you're thinking and I agree, but what is right or fair doesn't really matter to people who are afraid.”

  
He sighs softly, sadly, “It never has and it never will. I’m sure you’ve seen it too. The way certain people view Shinobi with fear or anger. For humanity has always feared what it doesn’t understand.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and I'd like you to know that I'm working on another Neji/Shika oneshot. Hopefully the boys will start talking to me again and I'll be able to finish it soon, but for now I'm just hitting the metaphorical brick wall. Cheers everyone. I hope your holiday was a great one and that you had a safe New Year's Day.


	29. Shikamaru (Alternatively, In Which Others Contemplate On the Unknown Hero)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is much contemplation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies, everyone! Between writer's block and working and life in general, I've been pretty stressed and that isn't really good for my ability to write. BUT! As you've probably seen, I did manage to post something recently. It was something that I started a while back and finally finished it yesterday. I'm hoping that I can start getting back in the habit of writing since I miss it so much, but I can't promise consistent updates since my schedule changes every few weeks.
> 
> However, I am trying and, hopefully, updates will be a little less rare. Keep your fingers crossed everyone!
> 
> On another note, I think I've found the perfect overarching theme song for this series. It's called 'When It's All Over' by Raign. Seriously, go look it up on YouTube. My Hyo|Shikamaru muse was so stunned by the lyrics that I couldn't even fangirl over how perfect it was. I was literally speechless for several minutes afterward. I'm thinking of putting together a list of songs that go with the story, so let me know if you'd like to see that.

(Asuma's POV)

 

For all that he's allowed his old man to delay him in going after his most secretive student, it doesn't mean that his old man could or even can stop him if he really decides to go after the boy. He has good reason too. Shikamaru is _his_ in a way that he can't explain in words. He feels the same way about Ino and Chōji. They're _his kids_ now, no matter what anyone else thinks or says.

 

Which makes it all the harder to stay away from Shikamaru - to give his kid the space he craves - as the kid visibly pulls himself back together, as he scrapes the sharp, jagged edges of himself into something more peaceful and settled than ever. However, Asuma manages to do it for the exact same reason, because there is a measure of healing in the way Shikamaru pulls himself back from the brink and Asuma can no more deny this healing to his student than he can deny that he's relieved to see the same familiar and steady calm in the kid's eyes again. It doesn't mean that he stops remaining watchful. Oh no, his kids have had their worlds turned upside down in one fell swoop and just because their recovering doesn't mean he won't be ready when any of them decides to start talking. Though, he's certain that Chōji will be the first to come to him if he hasn't gone to his father already.

 

Ino, he knows, has already talked to her father, because the man had thanked him for bringing his daughter back, at the very least, healthy and whole physically. They can pick up the mental pieces from the disaster that had become their mission, but they can't heal physically crippling injuries. And with Senju Tsunade having seemingly disappeared off the face of the earth... There is no one skilled enough in Konoha to heal truly crippling wounds. To be completely honest, it scares him, the thought of one of his kids being forever crippled.

 

Sure, it's not the worst that could happen to them, but it's one of them. And he thinks that, of the three of them, it is Shikamaru who will be the one to take being crippled the hardest. His stomach drops and his blood runs ice cold whenever he thinks about such a thing happening. Asuma can't help but wonder if the feelings that are invoked in him are premonitions or warnings against a possible future where an incident such as that occurs and he shudders. While he's not the most superstitious of people, he does believe in there being more to the world than what he can see. That being said, Asuma knows that he'll be pushing his kids hard during their training; no way in hell is he letting them get killed or crippled while they are in his care(probably not even after they leave it either...).

 

* * *

(Shikaku's POV)

 

He's unable to stop thinking about what has been revealed to him even days after his talk with his son. And no matter how hard he tries, Shikaku cannot shake that sadness that he now carries in regards to the harsh truths and the world that Shikamaru had spoken of. His son isn't the type of person to condone pity towards himself and Shikaku doesn't. Pity his child, that is. He's too much a warrior for pity to ever truly take root, but he knows sadness and he mourns for an innocence lost all too soon.

 

He wishes that he could give his son back some form of innocence, some form of childish wonder for the world and people around him. Wishes are all that he'll ever have though... His son has seen too much of the world and it's all too common cruelty for the boy to see the world with a new perspective. Shikamaru is too hard, too worn down, too tired to try to even pretend to see the world through a child's eyes. It had been obvious from a such a young age in Shikamaru and he wonders how he never saw it until Naruto had been dragged into his family's life by his stubborn son.

 

But, for all that Shikamaru is all too world-weary, his son still somehow manages to look at and recognize the beauty still left in the world. Sometimes Shikaku thinks that his son still has a form of wonder that hasn't been lost to time and experience from the way he looks at his family, his friends, the children and innocent civilians of Konoha. It's in the way he tends to his garden, to their Clan's deer, the way he stares up at the sky with a mixed look of such strong relief and disbelief. It's the way he'll stand in the rain for hours -regardless of how bad a storm is- with grief and wonder lining his face. And Shikaku wonders just how bad things had truly been at the end of his world for a storm, of all things, to invoke such powerful emotions in his son.

 

Shikaku sighs softly and hopes that Shikamaru can continue to hold on to whatever it is that makes him do these things. No matter how strange his actions may seem to strangers, his boy has his reasons and nothing else matters to him. As a father, all he hopes for is Shikamaru's happiness and health and he'll fight anyone who tries to take those things from his son when there are already enough shadows in those dark eyes.

 

******************************************************************************

(Ino's POV)

 

'Shikamaru seems better now. Well...at the very least, he doesn't seem to be as sad as he used to be,' Ino thinks to herself as she watches her odd teammate while he runs through the hand signs for his jutsu again and again, training his mind and body for the speed he'll need in an emergency. Shikamaru is an enigma. One that all of the time travelers want to figure out.

 

TenTen is convinced that Shikamaru somehow managed to return to the past even before they did. Lee, on the other hand, just seems to regard the Nara with a solemn sort of sadness and respect. Naruto and Sasuke aren't sure what to think about him, but, then again, they also care the least about what his secrets are because of how close they are to him. Shino is apprehensive; he's determined to take the Nara out if it somehow becomes apparent that Shikamaru is a threat to them and the future they are trying to save. Sakura is happy that her boys are more settled and content due to Shikamaru's actions, but she worries too.

 

“ _Shikamaru,”_ she says, “ _is like a bomb and we don't know what will set him off. He's different in a way that we aren't. Harder, more tired, in ways that we aren't. To be completely honest, if he really is our Shikamaru, I don't think he ever expected to come back like we did. Maybe he just didn't know there was a way. Maybe things were so bad, wherever he was, that he failed to find a way before things got too bad for him to even attempt to come back._

 

“ _With the way he acts, would it really surprise you if he somehow came back by complete accident?”_

 

Ino's thoughts then turn to the last of their age group's member. Neji, of all people, has managed to get close to Shikamaru in a very short amount of time. He mentions talking, training, and visiting with Shikamaru, but he certainly doesn't elaborate on those moments. Whenever anyone presses him for details, Neji goes grimly silent before quietly murmuring, _“I dare not speak of things I have no understanding of, but I know this much – he is damaged, traumatized, in a way that no one can touch. Not yet, at least. I would prefer not to say anymore so, please, do not press for details.”_

 

'That being the case,' Ino thinks darkly, ' if Neji, one of the reigning princes of traumatized pasts, thinks that Shikamaru is damage... then it has to be bad.'

 

Not that she's surprised... Shikamaru is too quiet, too still, too dark, too _haunted_ in ways that he shouldn't and couldn't be if he were just a normal child. Even if he _is_ a Nara, because not even the too smart for his own good Shikamaru of the past was as worn down as this Shikamaru that is now in their midst. She props her chin in her hand and sighs. If only he wasn't so paranoid and skittish, then maybe she could have pried it out of him already.

 

But this Shikamaru is even better at keeping his secrets than the one from before. He keeps his secrets locked away with an intensity that isn't seen in untried Shinobi. _This_ Shikamaru is used to silence, used to keeping his silence and using it as a shield to keep others at bay. He's used to unnerving people with a long, silent, emotionless look. He's old in mind and soul and it shows in how he reacts to certain actions or events.

 

It shows in how he isn't surprised by something, or how he holds so tightly to the ones he loves. It shows in how protective he is of her and the others, in how, sometimes, he looks _so damn sad_ that she doesn't understand how he isn't in tears.

 

* * *

 

(But what she doesn't know is that Shikamaru is tired of tears, tired of crying for people and times he can never return to, but, more importantly, he thinks that he has no more tears to cry.)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! I have finally managed to finish this chapter after months of not being able to work on it. I cannot even begin to express how happy it makes me, to be able to get this out to all of you and I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Anyway, there isn't any Shikamaru or Neji in this chapter, as you've already seen, beyond in others' musings, but I hope you enjoy the perspectives of the people around Shikamaru!


	30. Continuance (Alternatively, In Which Time Passes and Ino Is An Evil Teammate)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title says it all!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: It's taken me a little while to figure out which way I wanted this chapter to go, but I think I've finally figured it out! But I almost scrapped this...  
> Enjoy!

(Shikamaru’s POV)

 

Time passes, as it always does, and with its passage comes change. It's a slow, gradual thing, but Shikamaru clocks the changes not long after they start. It's in the way Chōji and Ino get stronger and in the way that Asuma begins to look progressively prouder and prouder of their accomplishments. It's in the way that he suddenly finds himself aching deep down in his bones before he realizes that he needs new clothes(he could certainly do without the pain of a growth spurt…). They are growing up, he notes absently one day.

 

Not that these are the only changes in his life. No. Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura are closer than ever these days -to the point that she's almost always at his house for one reason or another. Though... it's been increasingly harder to convince her to go home to her parents. These days, Sakura does not seem to be on good terms with them and it seems to stem from the fact that she is not the same little girl she used to be.

 

Sakura is no longer the shy, awkward girl she used to be. She's brave and strong and knows exactly what she wants from life. And from herself. She wants to be a frontline medic and has also taken to seeking out Kurenai-sensei for lessons in genjutsu as a not so last resort. Shikamaru thinks that she has the right idea.

 

Her parents, on the other hand, think she is stretching herself too thin and growing up too fast. However, Sakura is a genin. She is considered to legally be an adult in the eyes of Konoha's laws. She may still have her parents and may still need them on an emotional level, but she does not _ need _ them on a physical or financial level. Not like a civilian child would.

 

Sakura could be independent of them if she chose to be so… Something Shikamaru sees happening sooner rather than later if they do not stop pressing Sakura to 'slow down’ and 'enjoy her youth’. They are Shinobi themselves. They should know better than to stand in her way when she honestly and genuinely has a goal to reach for. One that she wants with all of her heart and soul.

 

He smiles sadly to himself. When he had been Hyo, he'd been the same way. Always reaching for the next goal, always on the move. There is nothing wrong with the mindset, but, at least, her path is not as lonely as his own used to be. His path is no longer a lonely one, but he can remember when it was and he is glad that Sakura has such devoted teammates and a sensei who encourage her.

 

Not that his own teammates and sensei are any less encouraging or devoted. If anything, he thinks that Chōji and Ino may be his very best friends and that Asuma may be the closest thing to a second father to him. It's a novel experience and not one he intends to give up.

 

And then…there is his quiet, peaceful companion, Hyūga Neji, whom he has come to know better in the time that they've known each other. He knows that Neji fervently hates spicy food, which is something that actually makes him laugh since he is the exact opposite and spicy food is something he loves. He knows that shōgi and Go are two of his favorite games, much to Shikamaru’s pleasure. He knows that Neji feels a kinship to birds. More specifically, birds of prey since they are not only deadly and beautiful, but able to fly freely without chains or tethers.

 

He knows that Neji considers his closest blood family, teammates, and friends to be his 'true family’. He knows the Neji is close to most of his Branch Family Clansmen, but detests the majority of the Main House and its elders. Which, honestly, Shikamaru cannot blame him for. He's run into a few members of the Main House and he could truly do without the memory of them  _ trying  _ to look down at him as if he is lesser for being born outside of the Hyuga Clan. Though, it  _ does _ makes him smirk to remember how he'd just stared blankly back at the sneering Hyūga Clansmen before commenting on how ugly their expressions were and how he didn't understand why they'd ever look at anyone that way and 'did they really want to potentially send kids screaming in fear to their parents?’. 

 

After all, after what had happened with Danzō, he doubted that the Hokage would put up with  _ anyone _ messing with children anymore. And they knew it if their not so happy expressions were anything to go by. Of course, Neji had been thoroughly amused by Shikamaru's utter lack of regard for the Hyūga Main House and its elders. Though, Neji had warned, it was not a good idea to insult them too often. Shikamaru had shrugged back then and explained that he didn't go out of his way to find them and that it was only by coincidence that he'd run into the nosy, stick up their asses elders/Main House Clansmen.

 

Beyond that, however, there are other things that Shikamaru has learned about Neji just by observing the older male. Like how Neji prefers meditation over many forms of entertainment or how the Hyūga learned to bandage his hands through trial and error rather than being taught by another person. He learns that, if he spars with the Hyūga for long periods of time, Neji will begin to relax from his rigid forms to something that is looser and more playful. Shikamaru has also learned that after such matches, Neji is much more tactile and seems to have a fondness for pressing himself against the Nara’s side. This is something he does with his teammates, his sensei and his cousin, Hinata, as a sign of trust and contentment

 

It warms something in Shikamaru's chest to know that Neji considers him to be someone he truly trusts. He doubts that Neji trusts anyone else that much. Or that easily. He’s far too distant a person to ever allow another to get close to him without knowing them exceedingly well. Not that it stops some of Neji’s family members though. Shikamaru scowls darkly as he thinks about the elders of Neji’s family. Those idiots do not and cannot ever understand the younger Hyūga. 

 

They are far too concerned with tradition, honor, and pride. Neji wishes to unite the Branch and Main houses just like his cousin, caring nothing for the ‘pride of the Hyūga. And, if he’s reading the situation correctly, the  Hyūga Clad Head no longer holds with the traditions that the Elders keep trying to force upon the rest of the Clan.

 

It’s a relief in a way. With Hyūga Hiashi no longer holding true to the old ways of his Clan, Neji has more freedom than before. Not that is stopping the elders from doing their level best to hinder the branch member in every way possible. Shikamaru frowns deeply in contemplation. He may just need to find a way to get them to back off if they continue to be pains in the ass.

 

(Ino’s POV)

 

She has never forgotten how much she’d missed Asuma after he’d been killed by the Zombie duo. Seeing him so unchanged in some ways, but so changed in others is a great relief to her since she had thought that she would never see him again in the future that will never happen again. And it’s all thanks to Shikamaru. Shikamaru who, by just existing it seems, has changed how she remembers things to be in her own past. It’s not a bad thing, but it may mean that future events are not so easy to predict.

 

That’s okay, though. She had been a real brat back then before she’d gotten a wake-up call about the realities of the life she’d chosen. She much prefers the her of this timeline. She looks up when she here’s her father moving around cautiously and Ino snickers when she sees the look on her tou-chan’s face. Uh oh, looks like she’s been too quiet for too long of a time. 

 

Better chatter his ear off about how he needs to take her shopping before he gets suspicious about what’s going through her head. She hums thoughtfully as she taps her finger against her bottom lips and then the Yamanaka grins evilly. She’s never managed to drag her Nara friend out on a shopping trip. It’s about time she did. After all, Shikamaru is getting taller and while he does have clothes that fit...they certainly aren’t fashionable.

 

***

 

“Thank you, Yoshino-oba-san!” Ino calls out with a smile as she drags Shikamaru with her by his arm. The long-suffering look on his face is hilarious. As is the relieved expression on her oji-san’s face. Nara Shikaku is one of the most shopping avoidant people she knows and it’s so funny to watch his deer caught in the torchlight expression.

 

Shikamaru, on the other hand, just looks like his mother has sentenced him to a fate not quite worse than death, but certainly up there on the list of things he’d rather not ever do. She laughs outright and declares, “Oh, stop with the drama, Shikamaru! It’s just shopping. It’s not like I’m making you be a pack mule today, after all. Nope, that’s tou-chan’s chore!”

 

“I feel so loved,” Inoichi deadpans.

 

“Hush, you. I’m going to be buying lunch too. Unless you’d rather pay,” Ino looks up at her father slyly and grins when he blanches.

 

“No, no. That’s quite all right, darling.”

 

The look on Shikamaru’s face is priceless. He looks like he’s just managed to realize something important and that he should have done so sooner. Not that it matters anymore. She’s finally managed to drag him out with her and he’s not going home until she has bought him clothes that come in any color than black.

 

Well, in shirts and jackets, at least. Maybe some cargo pants in dark gray? No tan though… It might be a neutral color, but Shikamaru wouldn’t look so great in tan. And definitely  **no** orange. Oh! And some more yukata! Green and navy and burgundy. Maybe some specialized ones? Ino hums in thought as her eyes narrow.

 

She doesn’t quite realize that she’s thinking out loud until Shikamaru protests her getting him so much stuff and the Yamanaka just grins, “As your teammate, it is my duty to make sure you have everything you need! And you, my dear Nara, need some color in your life!”

 

***

 

(Shikamaru’s POV)

 

The look in his eyes is of a man despairing his life choices. He just knows it. Just like he  _ knows _ that he should have gone looking for Neji instead of staying home, but he’d allowed himself to go back to sleep  _ just this once  _ instead of getting up at his usual time. Never again, he vows to himself. Ino is evil incarnate and he is somewhat bitterly reminded of Yuffie and her shopping sprees.

 

And he regrets everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the end, I somehow managed to not scrap this in its entirety! Yay for not starting over! I just had to go back and read some of my previous chapters to get a feel for the flow again.
> 
> So we get some seriousness and we also get some humor, because Ino is a scheming little sneak. And Shikamaru is definitely not being overdramatic when he thinks that he regrets EVERYTHING! Like, this is the worst thing ever for him, because he likes his black. It’s a versatile color and it hides blood so well! XD  
> Ino’s just like, “Suck it up, dude.”
> 
> Hope you all enjoy the chapter. Let me know what other colors you think Shikamaru would look good in since I’ll eventually be covering his expanded wardrobe! Let me know how you like evil Ino!


	31. Growing Up (Alternatively, In Which Yoshino Learns More About Her Boy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shikamaru's past has another curveball to throw at him. But this time in the form of his future. He's not quite sure how he feels about this. And mama Yoshi? SHE just wants to slowly carve up the monster who hurt her baby. 'Cause Shikamaru is hers, regardless of who he used to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note will be part of the chapter due to the length. Please do not skip it as it is rather important to the world building of this story. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

** IMPORTANT NOTICE: READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTES! **

Author’s Notes: I never write long author’s notes as you all know. I’m kinda regretting that now because now you guys have a lot of information to go through. And it’s all thanks to a review I got in Chapter 5 of TUoTL on FanFiction.net. Basically, it said this:

Guest Reviewer: He’s four right?  
Why are they not questioning this? If I was there I would’ve sent him to the nearest psychiatric hospital.

SO! Let’s do some world building people! My question to you is…. _What psychiatric hospital?_ Why would a Shinobi Village have a psychiatric hospital when crazy shinobi are still useful shinobi? Take Danzo for instance. He was fucking **nuts**! Why else would he kill off a Pillar Clan of Konoha for _their eyes_! _**THEIR EYES, PEOPLE!**_ Sakumo? He’s a toss-up since people were terrible to him for doing the right thing. He might have chosen to kill himself, regardless of therapy.

Orochimaru? He could have benefitted from a stay in such a hospital. Hell, proper therapy, in general, might have kept him in Konoha. What about Tsunade after Nawaki and Dan both died? And what about Kakashi? If anyone could have benefitted from a stay in a psychiatric hospital, it would have been this guy with his many complexes and triggers.

And let’s not even get started on Sasuke and his MANY issues….

So these are my thoughts on the matter… Therapy isn’t just to solely ensure that the mental states of Shinobi are up to par to continue missions. It’s to determine whether or not a Shinobi (or potential Shinobi) is a flight risk. Or worse, a time bomb set to go off in the midst of allies. AND! Even then psychiatric evaluations fail to catch everything. Take Mizuki for example. He should have never been allowed around children if they suspected him of _anything_.

From a much darker point of view...why spend money and resources on a hospital that would require active duty Shinobi and Iryo-nin to run it? People who could be running missions and saving lives rather than spending their time trying to corral crazy Shinobi who are either _A_ ) high on drugs and running around like chicken with their heads cut off, _B_ ) actively not taking their meds and trying to escape, or _C_ ) been sedated for long periods of time after a psychotic break and are therefore convinced that they are being held captive by the enemy. Which then causes them to do their level best to escape with maximum damage to lives and structures because -let's face it- your allies surely would not tie you down and drug you to hell and back day after day, right? Right.

More importantly, Hiruzen is a _**military dictator**_. There are no two ways about that. Yes, he has some checks and balances in place. But ultimately? At the end of the day, if he places the village under a military setting then he is the true power. Except Hiruzen is smart. He’s been around for a long time.

He’s not about to throw away a potentially useful asset. Especially not one that doesn’t need to be broken into the harsh realities of the Shinobi lifestyle. And definitely not one that binds Konoha’s jinchuriki closer to the village. So he might be fond of Naruto and he may understand that the person Shikamaru used to be is damaged and is sympathetic towards the other male, but he admits -TO HYO’S FACE, NO LESS- that he thinks that the guy can be useful to the village! Yes, he phrases it differently, but he’s setting Shikamaru|Hyo up for the life of a Shinobi.

Even more importantly, the only buildings capable of holding someone for extended periods of time is T&I and the prison. Hiruzen is not about to alienate his Jonin Commander-who also happens to be the Nara Clan Head-by locking up his physically four-years-old son and only heir. Because, not only would he be alienating the Nara Clan, he’d be alienating the Akimichi and Yamanaka Clans as well. And that’s a **BAD IDEA**. Because the Nara create life-saving medication and the recipes are held _only by them!_ The Akimichi create soldier pills and are physical powerhouses. They also own restaurants within the village! The Yamanaka? Interrogation specialists who can also take over the bodies of enemies and are herbalists that help create medicines as well!

Seriously pissing off the people who can either withdraw their support from Konoha or call for another leader to be chosen is the epitome of _**BAD IDEAS**_! And, yes, it does deserve capitals, bolding, italics, and underscoring.

But this isn’t even taking Shikamaru|Hyo into account amidst all of this. And he requires a section all on his own. In Chapter 5 he does respond to Shikamaru and even thinks of himself by that name, but his mindset? His emotions beyond the parent/child bond he has with Yoshino and Shikaku? That’s ALL Hyo. He’s a warrior who has been experimented on and tortured. AND! Ultimately, Hyo is a _killer_. He may not like killing, but he will not hesitate. People have hunted him, tried to capture him, and tried to kill him. So why, if he was placed in a psychiatric hospital, would he not try to escape in any way possible?

Especially since the nearest psychiatric hospital would not be in Konoha and, the most important thing… It would be run by civilians. Civilians who would not know how to handle a four-year-old child who’s actually a mentally 37-years-old man with severe PTSD, is also mentally deficient in some ways that normal people aren’t, and won’t hesitate to slit someone’s throat to keep his freedom. That, my friends, is a recipe for disaster.

And before anyone can say anything about him having gotten therapy before the end of his world. Uh... What therapy? By that time there were no therapists capable of handling his issues. Before things went to hell, there was not a true need for a military power after Shinra was destroyed -and the Omega Incident was dealt with- and therefore no military therapists who could help him work through his issues. Because no way in hell would a civilian therapist be capable of helping him in any true way before they’d need to a therapist of their own!

Yes, there was WRO and it was controlled by Reeve, but does anyone really think that Hyo would _willingly_ step on to any military base when there are still power crazy people around? People who would, gladly, capture him and experiment on him secretly in an attempted to recreate the SOLDIER program? No. He would not.

However, that does not mean that there a no options open to Shikamaru in regards to his own personal suffering and healing. Something that will actually come up in this chapter. It was always going to wind up happening and I always figured it would pop up before certain events occur. Events that will be occurring in the coming chapters ahead.

So thank you, guest reviewer, for reminding me that this needed to be brought up. Discussion time people! What are your thoughts on the whole issue? Find me on tumblr at http : // theuncertainfurture . tumblr . com / -which is a side blog dedicated to this story- so we can discuss this in depth.

* * *

(Shikamaru’s POV)

 

Shikamaru wakes with a startled jerk upwards, eyes wide in the darkness of his room and his thin sleeping clothes plastered to him from sweat. He's tangled in his sheets and he feels distinctly sticky and gross. He drags in a shaking breath and holds it for several long seconds before he lets it out in a long, calming sigh. Another long breath and he finally manages to dreg up enough determination to untangle himself and swing his legs over the side of his bed.

 

The cool floor isn't quite a shock to his overheated skin, but it comes close and he shivers as the chill seeps into his bones. With a huff and a grimace, the Nara plucks his thin shirt away from his skin as he stands. His pants are possibly in even worse shape, twisted and sticking to him as they are. And his covers? The less said about them the better…

 

With that in mind, Shikamaru quickly strips his bed down, opens the window to help air out the room and his sweat-sodden sleeping area, and then grabs a towel from his desk. He then grabs a change of clothes. It’s very early in the morning so his best bet will be filling the sink, soaping down and wiping off with the water and a washcloth if he doesn’t want to wake his parents and the boys. A quick glance at the clock tells him that he is up an hour earlier than he normally is and the Nara’s nose crinkles in distaste. Even when he’d been Hyo, he’d loved his sleep when he felt safe enough to sleep deeply.

***

Once clean, Shikamaru goes back to his room to gather his blanket and sheets. Taking them down to the washing room, he decides to make himself some tea before remaking his bed and getting ready for the day. ‘ _Honestly,_ ’ he thinks, ‘ _there is no point in going back to sleep if I’m just going to be getting back up in an hour or so._ ’

***

Which is how his kaa-san finds him an hour later. Sitting at the table with a cup of tea in his hands and staring down at the cooling liquid with a deep frown.

* * *

(Yoshino’s POV)

 

The light in the kitchen in on when Yoshino comes downstairs. That is highly unusual. With silent steps, she pads up to the door frame to look in to see one of her boys. Her first and only bloodborne son, in fact. It isn’t surprising that Shikamaru is up early.

 

It is, however, surprising that he’s up even earlier than her. Normally they get up around the same time or he gets up a little while after her, but never this early. He’s not in his sleeping clothes and he’s frowning deeply, lost in thought and probably far from here in spirit. It happens less these days, but some days -like now- he’s a million miles away. “Shikamaru, sweetie, what are you doing up so early?”

 

Her son’s head snaps up and the look in his eyes is slightly startled, like he had not noticed her standing here in the kitchen with him. Shikamaru shifts slightly and Yoshino knows that something isn’t right... Instead of looking at her directly -like he usually does- her son looks at her from the corner of his left eye, his long, loose hair obscuring the majority of his face. With his chin tipped down and towards her, Shikamaru is displaying a startling amount of discomfort. An unease that he rarely ever exposes to people, even those of his own family.

 

Softly, she inquires, “Son, what’s wrong? Has something happened?”

 

Shikamaru’s head tips down even more before he finally nods. He rakes a hand back through his hair roughly, swallowing hard. Then he stands roughly, prowling restlessly over the wooden floors. He’s utterly silent, but the way his lips pull away from his teeth tells her that he’s struggling to either find the words to say whatever it is that he wants to say or that he just doesn’t know how to vocalize the issue. Without thinking about it, Yoshino pads over to her boy and hugs him close.

 

“Calm down,” she murmurs. Continuing, she says, “take deep breaths and -when you're ready- we’ll talk. Okay?”

 

Shikamaru curls into her, arms wrapping around her waist tightly like he hasn’t done since he was a small child. Her frown deepens and her eyes soften. Gently, her cards her fingers through his hair, right arm banding tighter around his shoulders. Sometimes...she forgets that he’s still so small even though he seems to be growing everyday… Even though he’s already so mature and grown up mentally, in some ways Shikamaru is just a child.

 

Finally, Shikamaru mutters, “You remember when you and tou-san had to sit Naru and Sas down to talk about the changes they were going through months back?”

 

Yoshino blinks and slowly draws out a confused, “Yes...? Why?”

 

“I think...I might be starting to go through the same changes. I… I had a weird dream… It wasn’t a nightmare, but even so… it made me extremely uncomfortable.”

 

Yoshino’s eyes widen and her lips _almost_ quirk up in amusement, but her son’s admittance of discomfort stops her from smiling. With a calm voice, she asks, “Do you know why it made you so uncomfortable?”

 

Shikamaru stiffens in her arms briefly before his own begin to feel like they are compressing into her waist. A shudder goes through him as he rasps faintly, “I never had those types of dreams when I was _that person_. I was… broken...damaged.”

 

To her horror, his voice thickens with pain, with tears, “ _**That man**_ made it so that I could never have a family of my own. That I… that I could never be comfortable with another human being entering my personal space if they were not close friends or family. And I… I hated not being normal. I hated not being able to have kids of my own. I hated _myself_ for being so unnatural.”

 

Rage flares in her chest. Someone had hurt _her_ _boy_. Maybe not in this life, but he had been hurt, nonetheless. Yoshino had thought that she had hated Konoha’s enemies… but no. She absolutely loathes whoever **_that man_** is. She doesn’t have a chance to say anything before Shikamaru continues.

 

“And it feels like I’m still wrong, still broken, because I can’t get over it! Why can’t I let it go, kaa-san? Why can’t I finally move on and _live_?”

 

Yoshino cups the back of his head with the hand she had been carding through his hair and presses her lips to his crown. Fiercely, she states, “There is **_nothing_ ** wrong with you, Shikamaru. You **are not** broken. You **are not** unnatural.

 

“You are a young man who has suffered a very traumatizing past. One who never got any help for said trauma. And yet, here you are, with us. Living every day as it comes and trying to be happy despite the fact that you have every right to curl up in a ball as a sobbing mess. Nobody gets over trauma without help.

 

“And even then, some people never fully recover from what they have been through. Shiranui Genma for example. He’s a tokujō who was one of the Yondaime’s personal guards. When Namikaze Minato died… Genma-san was devastated. So was the Yondaime’s last -surviving- student. They both felt that they had failed him. To this day… they still haven’t quite recovered.”

 

“But what does that have to do with me?” Shikamaru’s voice is soft, confused. He’s tense and unhappy in her arms again, but Yoshino knows that he needs to hear what she has to say.

 

“It means that what you are feeling is normal. It means that you know, and acknowledge, that you have existing trauma that needs to be spoken about. And, hopefully, it means that now you will start to heal from this particular trauma. With help, of course, and I hope you will continue to talk to me about it, because, Shikamaru, someone hurt you. Someone maliciously harmed you with the intent to cause you mental and physical damage.

 

“And that _is not your fault_. It wasn’t then and it isn’t now in this life. It never will be. But that doesn’t mean that you aren’t still hurting from it or that you need to bottle it up and suppress it because you think that’s all you can do. So this is what I propose - from now on, on your days off, we have therapy sessions. Nothing in depth at first, but eventually, as you become more comfortable talking about your past, we’ll start to touch upon more uncomfortable subjects.

 

“I want you to be able to take every bad memory you have, turn it over and examine it. I want you to be able to identify why it makes you feel a certain way. And, then, I want you to be able to work through those memories and emotions until they can’t affect you as strongly as they do now. You will probably never be fully over what happened to you, but...we can make it easier for you to live with.”

 

She wants her boy to be okay but knows his past isn’t something that came be done away with like wiping a slate clean. He’ll always carry the emotional and mental scarring of those events. She can help him lessen them, though. Can help him lighten them. Yoshino curls her fingers and gently starts to comb through her son’s hair again, nails lightly dragging over his scalp like she used to do for him to settle the boy down for a nap as a baby.

 

Slowly, Shikamaru begins to relax against her, a shaking breath leaving him even as he turns his head so that his ear is pressed against her chest. Directly above her heart. Listening. Grief wells up in her chest like water behind a dam. Shikaku has often done the same thing after a bad mission. Had told her long ago that it was his way of reminding himself that as long as she lived he had a reason to come home. Before they had Shikamaru and he had more than one reason, of course.

 

But...the fact that Shikamaru now feels the need to remind himself of his reality after verbalizing even the smallest portion of his issues? It must have been harder than she could ever know.

 

“I love you, Shikamaru,” Yoshino states quietly. “I always will and nothing you tell me will ever change that. You are _my_ little boy and it doesn’t matter who you were before you were mine. Because now that you are...nothing will _ever_ tear you away from me.”

 

Her child makes a soft noise, one that she doesn’t know how to translate, but the way he nuzzles his cheek against her makes her think that it is an affectionate one. Finally, with s voice only just above a whisper, Shikamaru rasps, “Love you too, kaa-san. Always.”

* * *

(Shikamaru's POV)

 

A few days later and Shikamaru still doesn’t know how to react to his mother enforcing therapy sessions on him now, after all this time, but he knows that she only has his best interests in mind. It’s why she started therapy with Sasuke all those years ago when he woke up screaming bloody murder at the top of his lungs from the nightmares that tormented him. And he knows that even if he isn’t screaming in his sleep...he’s still bleeding in his own way, His reaction to what should be a normal part of puberty is more than enough proof of that.

 

His nose wrinkles as he thinks about that very early morning. Between the sex-ed class and his kaa-san explaining puberty to all three of them more thoroughly… he should have been prepared for this eventual emergence of hormones. As it is...he just feels embarrassed by his reaction. And slightly cheated… Second chances don’t just appear out of nowhere and knowing that the majority of his trauma isn’t just a physical reaction caused by a severe biochemical/hormonal imbalance is something that has him wondering just how deep the scars still run.

 

Another part of the whole issue-one he hasn’t brought up to his kaa-san-is that he wasn’t repulsed by the dream. Just… frightened, scared of a part of himself that he had not realized existed until that moment. He’s lived so long without feeling the physical or emotional connections that other people form that he’d thought he’d never experience them. Finding out that his body just hadn’t been ready was, and still is, a shock that he thinks he really doesn’t need at this point in time, He doesn’t need any more reasons to have an identity crisis, thank you very much!

 

Shikamaru huffs quietly as he taps his head back against the tree he’s sitting under, his features tightening with discomfort. This whole puberty issue is going to drive him insane. Especially since- now that he’s ‘physically ready’ -his body has been acting out like his infamous control means absolutely nothing. And it’s completely random! There’s no rhyme or reason to these moments and he’s beginning to understand Zack’s comments a _lot_ more now than he ever had as Hyo.

 

The phrase ‘awkward boner’ makes so much sense now. And he really wishes it didn’t… The last thing he needs is for this kind of thing to happen when in a training session or while on a mission. With a groan of irritation, the Nara reaches up to scrub at his face with both hands before dragging them down to glare at the sky. It’s a brilliant blue, a gentle breeze is rustling emerald green leaves, and there are birds chirping happily. It’s a perfect day…

 

And yet, Shikamaru has the feeling that some higher power is out there laughing at him… Fucking kami… Useless, the lot of them…

 

“Somehow, I doubt that the sky will catch fire from the force of your glare, Nara.”

 

Shikamaru, pointedly, does _not_ jump. Nor does he tense up as he wants to. Instead, the Nara turns his head slowly against the bark of the tree and gives Neji a flat look. So flat, in fact, that the Hyūga lifts an elegant brow in response, but he just moves closer to sit down next to Shikamaru without a word. The younger male watches as the Hyūga scans the sky briefly before turning his pale gaze to the dark eyes observing him.

 

“So, whatever did the sky do to you that you would be glowering so fiercely at it?”

 

Shikamaru groans again and lifts his head only to thunk it back roughly, “The sky didn’t do anything, but I get the feeling that there is some higher power out there laughing hysterically at me right now. And I _don’t_ want to talk about the reason why.”

 

Neji’s brow ticks up higher as he comments lightly, “Then I suppose I have no wisdom to share with you since I cannot read your mind and you are not willing to share what burdens you so.”

 

Shikamaru snorts, an unwilling smile forcing the left corner of his mouth to twitch upwards as laughter builds in his chest. Something relaxes in him and he slouches against the tree with a cleansing sigh, “It’s not all that big a deal. I just…”

 

The Nara trails off and shrugs helplessly after a moment, saying, “I’ve already spoken to kaa-san about it. Not that it was an easy thing to do, but… some things I just don’t have the words to explain easily. This is one of them. I had a hard enough time expressing the issue to her. I’d rather not have to try to find the words to explain myself all over again.”

 

Neji hums quietly, then, “I can understand that. I, myself, sometimes find certain subjects hard to speak of. However, if you ever do find the words, I will be more than willing to listen at that time.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

And that is that in both of their minds. They understand each other well enough to know that there is no further need to discuss the problem and they instead turn their discussion to the recent tension that has overtaken the higher ranking Shinōbi. Including Shikamaru’s father-the Jōnin Commander, his mother, his sensei, and even members of Neji’s Clan. Finally, Neji speculates, “It could be due to the upcoming Chūnin Exams. After all, they are being held here in Konoha this time.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ending Notes: Hope you all enjoyed the chapter and I’m super serious about wanting to hear all of your thoughts on the topic in my beginning notes. Anyway, let me know what you think in the comments about the chapter itself.
> 
> This is SilverFox89, signing off!


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